Introspection: Homecoming

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.


Homecoming

Scripture:

Don't remember the prior things;
don't ponder ancient history.
Look! I'm doing a new thing;
now it sprouts up;
don't you recognize it?

Isaiah 43:18-19a (CEB)

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

From "My Sacrifice" by Creed

Last month, while enjoying a long walk at one of my favorite places, I began to notice, for the first time this autumn, the colors of the changing leaves. The glorious blend of green, red, and orange reminded me of something I might have seen on the old PBS show The Joy of Painting, starring Bob Ross. If an artist were to paint the tree I saw, perhaps she would begin by painting the trunk and the branches. Next, she might paint the leaves with splashes of green. Last, she might apply highlights of red and orange to represent the changing colors.

I began to wonder if God works in a similar way. Maybe the changing of the seasons marks the times when God gets His paints back out. Perhaps spring is the time when God paints the green leaves on the trees, and perhaps autumn is the time when God highlights the trees with the beautiful reds, oranges, and yellows we enjoy every year. At the very beginning of the Bible, it is said that God created the world in six days. Of course, when God stopped to rest on the seventh day, He didn't put His paints away for good. I believe that God continues to create and to re-create in every moment of every day.

Perhaps the very essence of change is something that God "painted" into His creation from the very beginning. From the changing leaves we enjoy every autumn to the supernovas that occur light-years away from our planet to the electrons that orbit the nucleus of an atom, all of God's creation is in a constant state of change. Of course, human beings and human lives are no exceptions. It has even been said that the only constant in life is change.

During autumn of last year, I was contemplating a very painful but very necessary change in my own life. At that time, I was still a regular part of my college faith community even though I had graduated over three years earlier. Because I was in a very different situation from the students, I was beginning to feel more and more as though I didn't belong. One year ago, when I realized that I could no longer be a part of my college community to the extent I wished to be, I knew that the time had come for a change. My mother had told me about a young-adult Bible study group at a large church downtown, so I finally decided that it was time to "put away childish things" and to visit the group.¹ The good people in the group immediately welcomed me with open arms and made me feel at home.

The months passed, and I began to have conflicting feelings about both my college community and my new Bible study group. Sometimes I thought about all the good experiences I had with my old community and began to long for those times. Other times I thought about how disconnected I had become with the people from that community and became resentful, wondering if I ever even belonged there at all. There were also times I compared my new community to my old community and became discouraged, particularly in regards to the shortage of other "single" people in the group.

Last month, I had the opportunity to attend homecoming at my alma mater, and that week I feel as though God taught me a number of lessons about life and the changes it brings.

A number of people in my Bible study group play for the church's softball team. That Thursday, I decided that it was high-time that I went to a softball game to cheer my friends on as they played, especially since it was the last game of the season. That night, I had the pleasure of cheering for my friends from the dugout, and I was invited to join them for dinner afterward. It was a blessing to draw closer to my new community.

Friday night, I went to the homecoming carnival, as I do every year. Instead of riding the rides and playing the games, I typically walk back and forth looking for people I know. What made this year unique is that, though I saw people from my old community, I actually spend more time with people from my new community. I also ran into someone I know from my current job and had a rather long conversation with her and her husband.²

Saturday morning, I joined some of my friends from my college community for breakfast. Afterward, I headed over to the university to visit the Biology, Mathematics, and Computer Science departments.³ Next I went to the tailgate held by my previous community where I reconnected with fellow alumni and with friends who are current students. Instead of watching the football game, I went with some others for a walk around the campus. That night a bunch of us went downtown for dinner and dessert.

In the events of those three days, I feel as though God was addressing the feelings I had been experiencing. In the time I spent with my friends from my new community, I feel as though God was telling me, "Don't long for your past, because your present is good." In the time I spent with my friends from my old community, I feel as though God was saying, "Don't resent your past either, because your past was also good." In the time I spent with my old friends and in the conversations I had with them, I feel as though God was reminding me that some things, like true friendships, I will always have with me.

Typically we tend to divide time into three parts: the past, the present, and the future. The truth is that only one of these truly exists. The past does not exist any more. The only parts of the past that remain are the parts that we carry with us in the present, things like memories. The future does not exist yet. Furthermore, the future is amorphous: we do not know what shape the future will actually take. All that truly exists for us is the present, more specifically, this instant. As a gambler said in the movie 21, "Yesterday's history; tomorrow's a mystery. It's all what you do in the moment, baby."

Sometimes we fear change and try to hold on to the past for dear life. Sometimes we even try to re-create the past in the present. Living in the past, though, costs us the here and now. If we refuse to let go of the past, we sacrifice the blessings God wants to give us in the present.

Though sometimes we need to let go of the things of the past in order to embrace the present, it is important that we do not forsake the past. Sometimes, as we journey on the road of life, we get a chance to stop at the wayside to look back on where we have been. Sometimes life even gives us opportunities to retrace our steps at times like homecoming. These times allow us to remember how God blessed us in the past and to remember the things that have made us who we are today. This is the purpose of holidays. The Jewish people, for example, celebrate Passover to remember that God delivered their ancestors from slavery, guided them through the wilderness, and led them into the Promised Land.

Are you holding on to the past too tightly? Remember the blessings of the past, and be thankful for them. Just don't try to live in the past. If you do, you do so at the expense of the blessings that God wants to give you in the here and now. Remember what God told the people of Israel: "I know the plans I have in mind for you... they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope."⁴


Notes:
1 - I am not calling my former community childish, rather my attachment to it.
2 - Incidentally, her husband was a professor I knew from my job when I was in college.
3 - In college, I worked in the Biology department for more than two years and got to know the Biology faculty and staff. Though I never took a biology class, I was considered an honorary biology student. I studied Computer Science and, to a lesser extent, mathematics.
4 - Jeremiah 29:11 (CEB)

The picture featured in this introspection was taken by me at Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina.


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