Perspective: Why Bad Clichés Happen to Good People

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Why Bad Clichés Happen to Good People

You asked,

"Who is this that conceals counsel with empty words void of knowledge?"

And now I see that I spoke of - but did not comprehend -

great wonders that are beyond me.  I didn't know.

Job 42:3 (The Voice)

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

From "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns

Last year, writer Christian Piatt published a series of blog posts about clichés that Christians should consider abandoning.  I noticed that many of them were the type of thing a Christian might say to or about somebody who is going through a difficult time.

Consider the following:

• Everything happens for a reason.
• He/she is in a better place.¹
• God needed another angel in heaven, so He called him/her home.
• The Lord never gives someone more than they can handle.²
• When God closes a door, He opens a window.
• God helps those who help themselves.
• Perhaps God is (causing something negative) to get your attention.
• There, but for the grace of God, go I.
• If you just have enough faith (fill in the blank) will happen for you.
• God is in control.³

Some of these clichés are simply glib or insensitive.  Others fail to give proper respect to a person's feelings.  Several of them place the blame for suffering on the shoulders of the one who is suffering, when the situation is not always so simple.

Probably the most frustrating aspect of many of these clichés is the implication that God either allows or causes bad things to happen.  If a friend reminded you, shortly after something really bad happened, that God is in control, then, at some point, you would probably find yourself asking, "If God is both loving and all-powerful, then why doesn't God prevent bad things from happening to the humans that God created and supposedly loves?"

A lot of Christians are so concerned with declaring God's sovereignty that they elevate God's power over God's love.  As a result, they paint a picture of God that seems uncaring at best and monstrous at worst.  Many will assert that not only is God in control when bad things happen, God actually causes bad things to happen as part of some divine plan.  For example, in 2007, when a highway bridge in Minneapolis collapsed, killing thirteen people, one popular writer and pastor asserted that God allowed the bridge to collapse because God wants people to fear Him.⁴

Theologians and philosophers have debated for centuries regarding how much God is actually in control and how much control God has yielded to humans by giving them free will.  I don't have much to add to that particular conversation, but I would like to suggest that, regardless of your particular beliefs about God's sovereignty and God's omnipotence, perhaps it is best not to discuss such matters with someone who is going through a difficult time.

In the Old Testament, we read about a man named Job who lost his health, his property, and his children in a short amount of time.  Shortly afterward, three of his good friends came to visit him.  They mourned with him and sat with him in silence for seven days.  As friends, they were doing the right thing until they started to discuss theology.  Job's friends essentially told Job that his misfortune was punishment from God for some sin he had committed.  This discussion did not help clarify things for Job; instead, it only served to add to his pain.

Perhaps Christians perpetuate bad clichés because they feel as though they need to have an answer for everything - they want to make all of the puzzle pieces fit together.  Perhaps these clichés seem like simple, pious answers to questions that we ultimately cannot answer.  If any of the difficult questions of human existence can indeed be answered, I doubt the answers are simple enough fit on a church sign or on an inspirational picture on Facebook.  Perhaps the best answer to questions about human suffering is a simple yet honest "I don't know."

As God's witnesses on earth, Christians want to give people the answers to all of life's questions; however, we don't have a God who has given us all the answers.  What we do have is a God who came to earth in the form of a human being.  He walked with us, sat down for dinner with us, celebrated with us, wept with us, and even hung godforsaken on a cross and cried out "Why?" with us.  So often we say that Christ died for our sins, but we must also remember that suffering the crucifixion was God's ultimate act of solidarity with humankind.⁵

Sometimes we bring suffering upon ourselves; sometimes we bring suffering upon each other; and sometimes stuff just seems to happen to us without any apparent rhyme or reason.  Our God has not revealed to us the reason for all human suffering.  Instead, our God enters into our suffering with us.  This is literally what it means to have compassion for someone.  If we are to truly follow the example of Christ, then we must abandon insensitive clichés and easy "answers" and stand in solidarity with our friends and neighbors who are suffering.


Notes:

1. Christian Piatt.  "Ten Clichés Christians Should Never Use."  Father, Son, and Holy Heretic, 07/06/2012.
2. Christian Piatt.  "Ten More Clichés Christians Should Avoid."  Father Son and Holy Heretic, 07/09/2012.
3. Christian Piatt.  "Nine (Final) Christian Clichés to Avoid."  Father, Son, and Holy Heretic, 07/10/2012.
4. If you would like to read one response to this pastor, click here.
5. Tony Jones emphasizes this point in his ebook Questions that Haunt Christianity: Volume 1.  2013, the JoPa Group.

The photograph of the dominos was taken by Enoch Lai and is used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.