Notes from the Wayside: Introspection: Dancing with Words on a Date with Destiny

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Dancing with Words on a Date with Destiny

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

and before you were born I consecrated you;

I appointed you a prophet to the nations."

Then I said, "Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy." But the Lord said to me,

"Do not say, 'I am only a boy';

for you shall go to all to whom I send you,

and you shall speak whatever I command you.

Do not be afraid of them,

for I am with you to deliver you,

says the Lord."

Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth; and the Lord said to me,

"Now I have put my words in your mouth.

See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms,

to pluck up and to pull down,

to destroy and to overthrow,

to build and to plant."

Jeremiah 1:4-10 (NRSV)

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose?

From "This Is Your Life" by Switchfoot

To guide my devotional Scripture reading, I use the Daily Lectionary, a three-year cycle of daily readings that accompany the weekly readings used by many churches around the world.¹ In the last couple of months, I've read a number of passages from the books of the ancient Hebrew prophets, brave men who spoke on behalf of God. To be honest, I've found most of these passages rather depressing, as they are full of confrontational language with long, drawn-out descriptions of the consequences that awaited the people if they did not heed the prophet's words and change their ways. There's nothing like a literary punch in the gut to start one's day.

Last week, I started reading from the Book of Jeremiah, a book that, for some reason, seems to appeal to me more than the other prophetic books. Perhaps I like the fact that the book is written from a first person perspective, meaning that the book not only tells us what Jeremiah said but also gives us some insight into what he experienced. Perhaps I like the fact that Jeremiah was brutally honest with God about how he felt about being a prophet. Perhaps, as someone who is prone to melancholia, I can identify with the one known as the "weeping prophet."

The book begins with a story that speaks to me in a number of ways. It is what clergypersons might name a "call story," a story of a person's being called by God into the ministry or into some other profession. It seems to me that God does not simply call Jeremiah to be a prophet: God reveals that Jeremiah had been set apart to be a prophet all along, even before he was born. The story, as I see it, is less about God's calling a person to do something and more about God's revealing a what a person was created to do, in other words, a person's destiny.

There was a time when I longed for a sense of destiny. For my first professional job after I graduated from college, I worked as a software engineer for a company that manufactured slot machines and video poker machines. During that time in my life, the sense of shame I felt for working in such a seedy industry seemed to follow me wherever I went. I longed for a higher purpose in life. That job eventually came to an end, and I now work as a computer programmer in higher education. Though I am no longer haunted by shame related to my place of employment, sometimes I still find myself hoping that I was meant to be more than just a "computer geek."

Almost eight years ago, while I was still working in the gambling industry, I asked my pastor if I could have the chance to try my hand at preaching. After I had delivered a couple of sermons, I started this blog because I hated the thought that something I had written would be left to collect proverbial dust on my hard drive. When I realized that my opportunities to preach might be few and far between, I started writing regularly so that I could keep updating my blog. So began my love affair with writing.

When Jeremiah learns that it is his destiny to be a prophet, he starts to feel a bit inadequate for such a lofty purpose. As someone who wrestles with insecurity, I can appreciate his reluctance. Jeremiah tells God that he does not know how to speak because he is only a boy. God tells him not to say such things about himself and then promises to give him the words to say and to protect him from those who would do him harm. We must not sell ourselves short, for God can do great things through us, regardless of whatever limitations we think we have and regardless of how young, inexperienced, or unqualified we think we are. I say this as someone who has spoken at churches where I was, by a rather wide margin, the youngest person in attendance.

God reaches out to Jeremiah and touches his mouth, saying, "Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant." As a writer, I feel that this statement is a testament to the power of words, especially words from God. It has been said that "the pen is mightier than the sword." Totalitarian regimes would not burn books if they did not believe that the thoughts contained therein held the potential to pose a serious threat.

I will not claim that the words I write are given to me by God, nor will I claim that God does not give me words to write. I make no such claim at all - I do not know if it would be worse to claim that my words are God's or to claim that God's words are mine - instead, I simply hope that God somehow inspires, convicts, or blesses people through my writing. What I will say is that, when I put for the effort to write, I feel that God blesses my efforts. People have encouraged me to continue writing, so writing is what I will continue to do.

Belief in destiny can be like a two-edged sword. In times when we're tempted to think that life is chaotic and meaningless, we can find comfort in thinking that we have been created for some profound purpose. On the other hand, believing in destiny can be very discomforting for a person who thinks that his destiny is something he cannot escape or for a person who feels that her destiny is leading her where she does not want to go. God has told Jeremiah that he was born to be a prophet, but Jeremiah will one day curse the day he was born.² He will find that hates constantly preaching doom and gloom, but he will also find that the words God has given him to say are like a fire in his bones that he cannot keep contained within himself.³

I do not know if what was true about Jeremiah is true about everyone, that each of us has a destiny. Whether we are created for a purpose in life or a purpose in life is something we create, I think that we all crave a sense of purpose. We all need something greater than ourselves to which we can give ourselves, and we all need something we can contribute to the greater good. One piece of advice from the wise Frederick Buechner gives us a good place to start searching: "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."⁴ Written within each of us are talents and sources of joy, and, wherever we are, we all find ourselves in the midst of need. The challenge is to find where all of these intersect.

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