Introspection: Do Something!

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Do Something!

I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 (NRSV)

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear

From "The Fear" by Lily Allen

I would like to share more introspective writing this year, but, as I noted previously, I don't really feel like I have anything especially good to share about my life at this time.  Furthermore, as I also noted previously, if I have grown weary of the disappointment, bitterness, and self-pity that tends to infect my personal writing, then I cannot help but think that you would not want to read it either.

All that said, lately I've started to wonder if those of you who have been reading my introspective posts for a while want to ask me, "If there's so much you don't like about your life, then why don't you just freakin' do something about it?"

It's a good question.  So why don't I just freakin' do something?

There's a simple answer: fear.

If I don't like my job as a computer programmer, then why don't I quit my job, go back to school, and become a teacher, which is what I think I really want to be?

The truth is that I'm afraid of making a big mistake.  Though I don't love my job, I don't hate it either - at least I don't hate it every day.  Even on the days I do hate my job, I still take pride in the fact that, because I work at a local technical college, I am using my programming skills to make a positive contribution to my community.  Also, I have a lot of benefits beyond a monthly paycheck, including health insurance, a lot of vacation time, and the possibility of retiring with a pension.  I fell into a pretty sweet deal, and I'm afraid of giving it all up for something I don't even know I'll find more fulfilling.

I'm also afraid of getting in over my head.  I didn't especially enjoy writing papers when I was in college, and I have no idea how I would ever write a master's thesis, much less a doctoral dissertation.  Also, though I've taught some ten-hour classes for my church district, I have no idea how I would ever plan and teach a semester-long class.

If I'm lonely, then why don't I reactivate my dating profile and start swiping right?

The truth is that I'm afraid of rejection.  I'm afraid that, if I start swiping right, no one will swipe right on me.  I'm afraid that, if someone, for some reason, does actually swipe right on me, she will inevitably get to know me too well and realize she can do a lot better.  Maybe, deep down, I'm also afraid of change.  Maybe I'm afraid that I really will meet someone who loves me and accepts me, that we'll actually hit it off, and that I'll eventually find myself in a life that is nothing like the crappy yet comfortably predictable life I've always known.

There is a lot I don't like about my life, but I'm hesitant to do anything about it because I'm afraid.  Unfortunately, there is no figurative silver bullet that kills fear.  The only way to defeat this monster is to confront it head-on and to overcome it.

There is an old nursery rhyme about some children who are "going on a bear hunt."  As the young hunters look for bears, they encounter a series of obstacles in their path, including tall grass, a river, and finally a dark bear cave.  Whenever they meet an obstacle, they realize that they "can't go over it," that they "can't go under it," that they "can't go around it," but that they "got to go through it."¹  All these things are especially true about the obstacle of fear.

I have a personality that makes me a lot more adept at longing for the things I think I want in life than actually working for them.  If I want a better life, then I will have to take action, and, to take action, I will have to overcome my fear.  I can't go over it.  I can't go under it.  I can't go around it.  I can't shoot it from a distance with a magic bullet.  I will have to go through it.


Notes:

1. https://allnurseryrhymes.com/going-on-a-bear-hunt/

The photograph of the animal cave is used courtesy of PickPic.com and is understood to be public domain.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Perspective: Faith Is...

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Faith Is...
(a Reflection on Hebrews 11:1-12:2)

So then, with endurance, let's also run the race that is laid out in front of us, since we have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us.  Let's throw off any extra baggage, get rid of the sin that trips us up, and fix our eyes on Jesus, faith's pioneer and perfecter.

Hebrews 12:1-2a (CEB)

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

From "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless

Faith is, in the words of one thinker, "the reality of what we hope for" and "the proof of what we don't see."¹

Faith is trusting that there are realities beyond our perception.

Faith is living in such a way that our lives continue to speak long after we die.

Faith is trusting that what we do actually matters.

Faith is going against the grain of the world around us.

Faith is taking a journey into the unknown.

Faith is working for something greater than ourselves, something that might not be completed in our lifetimes.

Faith is considering that more is possible that what we have been led to believe.

Faith is not being content with the world as it is but daring to dream of a better world.

Faith is trusting that God will provide a way for us when what is required of us seems impossible.

Faith is believing that there is a bright future.

Faith is doing what is right even when it is not legal.

Faith is choosing a more difficult life, perhaps one lived in solidarity with the suffering.

Faith is refusing to be enslaved to the anger of other people.

Faith is listening for God's call and acting upon it.

Faith is trusting God to provide a way for us where there is none.

Faith is showing up where God has called us and trusting God to help us succeed.

Faith is refusing to conform to the surrounding culture.

Faith is doing things we once thought were impossible.

Faith is never giving up.

Faith is costly at times.

Faith is taking the baton handed to us and running in a race that started long before we were born and will continue long after we're gone.

Notes:

1. Hebrews 11:1 (CEB)

The photograph featured in this perspective is used courtesy of FreeImages.com.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Perspective: The Place at the Top

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

The Place at the Top

So which one is greater, the one who is seated at the table or the one who serves at the table?  Isn't it the one who is seated at the table?  But I am among you as one who serves.

Luke 22:27 (CEB)

Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

From "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers

Esau has just prepared a special meal for his father Isaac.¹  Earlier that day, Isaac, who has become nearsighted, called for his son Esau and asked him to go out on a hunt and to prepare him a meal from what he killed.  Isaac, unsure of how much time he has left in this world, promised to give Esau a special blessing after he finishes eating.  Esau approaches his father and says, "Let my father sit up and eat from his son's game so that you may bless me."

Isaac turns toward his son and asks, "Who are you?"

Esau replies, "I'm your son, your oldest son, Esau."

Isaac begins trembling and says, "Who was the hunter just here with game?  He brought me food, and I ate all of it before you came.  I blessed him, and he will stay blessed!"

Esau begins weeping.  He cries to Isaac, "Bless me!  Me too, my father!"

Realizing what has happened, Isaac says to Esau, "Your brother has already come deceitfully and has taken your blessing."  While Esau was still on his hunt, his twin brother Jacob conspired with their mother Rebekah, disguised himself as Esau, served his father a meal Rebekah prepared, and then received the special blessing meant for Esau.

When Isaac unknowingly blessed Jacob, he said to him,

May God give you
showers from the sky,
olive oil from the earth,
plenty of grain and new wine.
May the nations serve you,
may peoples bow down to you.
Be the most powerful man among your brothers,
and may your mother’s sons bow down to you.
Those who curse you will be cursed,
and those who bless you will be blessed.

This blessing is evidently irretractable and unrepeatable, and it essentially secures the blessed son's place at the top of a hierarchy.

As the oldest son, Esau should have been guaranteed the place at the top, according the customs of his culture.  Esau's twin brother Jacob reportedly came out of the womb immediately after Esau because he was clutching Esau's heel.²  Evidently Jacob has been trying to wrestle the place at the top away from his older brother ever since they were born!

Devastated, Esau asks his father, "Haven't you saved a blessing for me?"

Isaac replies, "I've already made him more powerful than you, and I've made all of his brothers his servants.  I've made him strong with grain and wine.  What can I do for you, my son?"

Isaac cannot simply give both of his sons the same blessing.

Then Jacob and Esau would have to be servants to each other.

Imagine that.

In the Gospels, we read that one day Jesus' disciples start grappling for the places at the top.  Believing that Jesus will soon be crowned king, His disciples James and John ask Him if He would make them His second and third in command.³  When the other disciples become angry, Jesus says,

You know that the ones who are considered the rulers by the Gentiles show off their authority over them and their high-ranking officials order them around.  But that's not the way it will be with you.  Whoever wants to be great among you will be your servant.  Whoever wants to be first among you will be the slave of all, for the Human One didn't come to be served but rather to serve and to give his life to liberate many people.⁴

The Disciples want places of power, but Jesus urges them to seek places of servanthood, pointing out that He has acted as a servant among them.

In the Gospel of John, we read that, on the evening before Jesus is arrested, He models humble service for the Disciples in a very vivid way.  He takes off His robe, ties a towel around His waist, fills a basin with water, and washes the Disciples' feet.⁵  When Jesus finishes washing the Disciples' feet, He puts on His robe and says to the Disciples,

Do you know what I've done for you?  You call me "Teacher" and "Lord," and you speak correctly, because I am.  If I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you too must wash each other's feet.  I have given you an example: Just as I have done, you also must do.  I assure you, servants aren't greater than their master, nor are those who are sent greater than the one who sent them.  Since you know these things, you will be happy if you do them.⁶

If the Son of God is not too important to serve people, then neither is anyone else.

It seems like so many people in this world are trying to make it to the top of a proverbial ladder.  To get ahead, they have to pull down the people above them, and, to keep themselves from being pulled down, they have to kick the people below them.  As usual, Jesus calls us to be countercultural.  He urges us to get off the ladder entirely and encourages us to seek ways to serve each other.

There can only be one person at the top, but we will find the people who are truly blessed in the places of servanthood.


Notes:

1. Much of this perspective is based on Genesis 27:1-40.  Quotations are taken from the Common English Bible.
2. Genesis 25:24-26
3. Mark 10:35-37
4. Mark 10:41-45 (CEB)
5. John 13:4-5
6. John 13:12-16 (CEB)

Isaac Blessing Jacob was painted by Govert Flinck in 1638.