Lenten Perspective: Saying the Right Thing Wrongly

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Saying the Right Thing Wrongly

Don't be quick with your mouth or say anything hastily before God, because God is in heaven, but you are on earth.  Therefore, let your words be few.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 (CEB)

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

From "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns

For nearly four years, I have been using the daily readings from the Revised Common Lectionary as a plan for my daily Scripture reading.  For each day, there is a Psalm, a passage from the Old Testament, and at least one passage from the New Testament.¹  I do not read all of the assigned passages for the day: typically I choose only one of the passages for reading and reflection.  If two or more days have consecutive passages, I might read them together on one day.

In the Past, I have been hesitant to read any assigned passage from the Book of Job.  I might make an exception for passages taken from the prologue, which sets the stage for the rest of the story, or from God's monologue at the end, which is mostly made up of questions directed at the titular character.  Throughout most of the book, Job and his friends talk with each other about God, until they finally find out that they didn't really know what they were talking about all along.  After God finally speaks at the end, Job confesses that he had been speaking out of ignorance, and then God chastises Job's friends for speaking wrongly.²

I believe that the Book of Job, as a whole, teaches us some important lessons, but I did not want to read a passage out of context and and reflect on potential falsehoods about God.

For the last few weeks, I've been participating in a somewhat intensive study of the New Testament at my church, so I've limited any of my readings from the Lectionary to the selections from the Old Testament.  To my dismay, some of the Old Testament selections for the last few weeks happened to be from the Book of Job.  I decided to wade into the murky waters of this story, reading with a critical eye to see if either Job or his friends actually say anything of worth, always keeping in mind what they learn at the end of the story.

At the beginning of the story, Job tragically loses his wealth, his health, and his children.  Three of his friends come to visit him, and they sit with him in silence for seven days, until Job finally speaks, cursing the day he was born.³  Ever present in this story is the assumption that suffering is punishment for sin.  Job, unable to think of anything he did wrong, believes that God has acted unfairly toward him, but his friends, who do not believe that God would ever act unfairly, believe that Job must have done something displeasing to God.

The first of Job's friends to speak is a man named Eliphaz.  First Eliphaz points out that, for someone who has ministered to people who were suffering, Job is not being very patient in the midst of his own suffering.  He then asks if God has ever punished an innocent person, arguing that people reap what they sow.  Eliphaz goes on to ask if there is anyone who is truly righteous before God.  If God holds even the angels accountable, then how can mere mortals expect to get away with wrongdoing?⁴

Eliphaz advises Job to turn to God, who provides rain to nourish the earth, lifts up the poor and the humble, and brings down the arrogant and the wicked.  He then encourages Job not to resent correction from God because it is for his own good.⁵

I don't think that Eliphaz is totally wrong in what he says to Job.  Much of what he says can be found in other parts of Scripture, particularly the Book of Proverbs.  God does indeed side with the poor and the humble over the wicked and the arrogant.  We read in Proverbs,

The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked,

but he blesses the abode of the righteous.

Toward the scorners he is scornful,

but to the humble he shows favor.⁶

Eliphaz's advice isn't that bad either.  We should always turn to God, regardless of our circumstances, and, if God does discipline us, we can trust that God only has our best interests in heart.  Again, we read in Proverbs,

My child, do not despise the Lord's discipline

or be weary of his reproof,

for the Lord reproves the one he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights.⁷

As I see it, sin does indeed cause suffering, in one way or another.  I think that perhaps the main reason that God hates sin is that God loves us and does not want us to inflict suffering upon ourselves or others.  Also, we do tend to reap what we sow.  We might get away with wrongdoing for a while, but, if we persist in a destructive path, we will inevitably suffer the consequences for it.  That said, I do not think that all suffering is necessarily caused by sin.  Sometimes we suffer because of our own choices; sometimes we suffer because of the choices of others; and sometimes we suffer for no other reason but unfavorable circumstances.

I once heard Rob Bell say that there can be rightness in our wrongness and wrongness in our rightness.  I would say that the latter is true of Eliphaz.  I do not think that Eliphaz says anything wrong; rather, I think he is wrong to say what he says because what he says is not appropriate for Job's situation.  His statements are right, but his underlying assumptions are wrong.  Job is not being punished for wrongdoing, nor is he being disciplined by God.  We know from the prologue of the story that Job has not done anything to warrant divine punishment.  We can almost hear the delight in God's voice when God says, "Have you considered my servant Job?  There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil."⁸

Eliphaz rightly says that people reap what they sow, but he has wrongly assumed that Job is reaping what he has sown.

Eliphaz rightly says that Job should turn to God, but he has wrongly assumed that Job had somehow turned away from God.

Eliphaz rightly says that God sides with the poor and the humble over the wicked and the arrogant, but he has wrongly assumed that Job is in the latter group.

Eliphaz rightly says that Job should accept discipline from God, but he has wrongly assumed that Job's suffering is discipline from God.

Sometimes we're guilty of saying the wrong thing, but sometimes we guilty of saying the right thing wrongly.

I think that far too often Christians use the call to "speak the truth in love"⁹ as an excuse to speak hurtfully just because they believe what they say happens to be true.  Sometimes it is appropriate and even necessary to be brutally honest with someone, but it is never appropriate to be unnecessarily brutal, no matter how accurate or honest one's statements happen to be.  When we feel the need to "speak the truth in love," we need to check our motives to be sure that we really are speaking in love.

Like Eliphaz, we might end up saying right statements at the wrong moments because we have made the wrong assumptions about a person or about his or her situation.  Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, warns us not to judge others, because our judgments have a way of coming back to haunt us.¹⁰  St. James encourages us to be "quick to listen" and "slow to speak."¹¹  It has been said that each of us has two ears but only one mouth because we are meant to listen twice as much as we speak.

It is currently the season of Lent, a time on the Church calendar marked by self-examination and repentance.  This season is a good time to examine why we say the things we say and to repent of any ways in which we speak hurtfully to others.  A good friend of mine likes to say that whatever does not build up breaks down.  In the words of St. Paul, "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear."¹²


Notes:

1. http://www.commontexts.org/publications/
2. Job 42:1-9
3. Job 1-3
4. Job 4
5. Job 5
6. Prov 3:33-34 (NRSV)
7. Prov 3:11-12 (NRSV)
8. Job 1:8 (NRSV)
9. Ephesians 4:15
10. Matthew 7:1-2
11. James 1:19
12. Ephesians 4:29 (NRSV)

The photograph above is of a fresco of Job and his three friends, painted in the 1500s in the Cathedral of the Annunciation.