Introspection: The World Is a Miracle

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

The World Is a Miracle

Scripture:

Jesus performed many other wondrous signs that are not written in this book. These accounts are recorded so that you, too, might believe that Jesus is the Anointed, the Liberating King, the Son of God, because believing grants you the life He came to share.

John 20:30-31 (The Voice)

You light - light - light up the sky

You light up the sky to show me You are with me

And I - I - I can't deny

No, I can't deny that You are right here with me

You've opened my eyes

So I can see You all around me

You light - light - light up the sky

You light up the sky to show me

That You are with me

From "Light Up the Sky" by The Afters

In the year 2011, on the evening of February 13, a Sunday, I found myself sitting in a pew in the chapel at Furman University. I had struggled with the decision of whether or not to attend the service that evening because I had heard that the message would be about love and marriage. Though I figured such a message would have nothing to do with me, I ultimately decided it might do me some good to hear it anyway. As I looked inside the bulletin, I noticed that, at the end of the service, everyone in the congregation would receive a flower. "God," I thought, "You have some sense of humor."

After the chaplaincy intern finished her sermon, she invited everyone in the congregation to come forward to the front of the chapel to receive a flower. When I approached her, she handed me a pink one. I walked back to my seat, laughing on the inside.

For reasons I will not divulge at this time, that event was very significant in my life. For me, receiving a pink flower on the day before Valentine's Day during that particular time in my life was truly uncanny.

In fact, I can only describe the event as miraculous.

In The Barbarian Way, Erwin McManus tells the story of a miracle he experienced when he was in college. His friend Beth has just confessed to him that she doesn't believe that God really loves her, so he tries to reassure her of God's love by telling her that God will do whatever it takes to prove God's love to her. She then says, "Well, then I want it to snow." For some reason Erwin replies, "God is going to make it snow for you... within twenty-four hours." Regretting what he has just said, he goes back to his dorm room and falls asleep praying, begging God to make it snow for Beth. After a few hours, his roommate returns, wakes him up, and tells him to look outside. Snow was everywhere.¹

While I have never experienced an answer to prayer quite like Erwin's, I have experienced other answers to prayer that could be considered miraculous. A few years ago, I spent months praying for God to deliver me from a bad job situation. One Tuesday morning in May of 2009, I learned that my boss had decided to consolidate offices and to move all operations to another state. This news gave me a legitimate reason to end my employment with that company.

Another small miracle happened to me around four years ago. I lost my temper over something I no longer remember and broke the mouse I was using with my laptop. I drove to a nearby department store and shelled out twenty dollars to buy a new one. As I drove back home, feeling thoroughly disgusted with myself, I began to wonder if there was any hope for me at all. At that very moment, I changed the radio station and heard the chorus to the song "To Bring You Back" by Paul Alan:

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles in the desert sun

Only to bring you back

I felt as though God was speaking directly to me at that moment. It was as though God was telling me that I was the lost sheep that Christ, the Good Shepherd, had gone out of His way to find. It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment.

So do all of these stories really describe modern-day miracles? The mystic in me says yes, but my analytical side says that there are alternative explanations.

Let's deconstruct that last story. At that time, at least one of the presets on my car radio was a Christian rock station, and it was not uncommon for me to change the radio station while driving by randomly pressing the preset buttons. Some common themes of Christian music are love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. All these things considered, it was not unlikely that I would have heard an uplifting message while listening to the radio in my car.

So did God speak to me in that desperate moment through the song I heard on the radio?

Or would I have heard such a message anyway because I just happened to change the radio station to a Christian rock station?

The other stories I mentioned all have explanations apart from the supernatural. When a young Erwin McManus prayed for snow, did God send snow to prove God's love for Erwin's friend, or was snow on its way regardless of whether or not it held any spiritual significance at all? When I prayed for God to lead me out of a bad job situation, did God put it in my boss's head to move operations out of state, or did the trajectory of the company simply give me an opportunity to leave my job behind? Did God sent me a pink flower on the day before Valentine's Day to tell me that that the pain and disappointment in my past did not have to define my future, or was it all just a really big coincidence?

Were all of these events miracles orchestrated by God?

Or can they all be chalked up to lucky breaks, coincidences, and natural phenomena?

To be honest, I really don't know.

Then again, maybe these are the wrong questions to ask in the first place.

The Gospel According to St. John records seven miracles performed by Jesus Christ before His crucifixion and resurrection. Christ, in His earthly ministry, transformed water into wine, healed a boy with a terminal illness, enabled a crippled man to walk again, fed thousands of people with a kid's sack lunch, walked on liquid water, gave the gift of sight to a man born blind, and raised a close friend from the dead.² The other three Gospels record Christ performing similar miracles, and other parts of the Bible describe other miraculous acts performed directly by God or through one of God's prophets.

But what is a miracle? So often we think of a miracle as some remarkable occurrence that contradicts human logic or defies the laws of nature - the parting of a sea to allow a tribe of people to cross on dry land, the pregnancy of a virgin, the healing of a person with a terminal illness. Perhaps a miracle doesn't have to be anything so extravagant. Albert Einstein has been quoted as saying, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is." Maybe miracles are all around us all the time, though we don't even realize it.

Nearly two years ago, I lost my glasses at the bottom of a waterfall, so I had to wear old glasses for nearly a week. When I finally got my new glasses, I was overwhelmed by the vivid detail with which I could see.³ It seemed miraculous. I jokingly remarked that if I had seen a sunset at that moment I would have cried.

Lately, when I take walks at my alma mater, I have found myself praying for breezes to give me relief from the summer heat. I have also found myself thanking God when cool breezes do indeed come my way.

Many Christians believe in the doctrine of creatio ex nihilo, the idea that God created the entire universe out of nothing.  Theologian Michael Lodahl suggests, as an alternative, the idea of creatio ex amore or creation out of love, suggesting that the creation of the universe is an outgrowth of God's loving nature.⁴ With that in mind, maybe everything God has created can be understood as a sign of God's love.

Consider the miracles of Jesus. Whether He was providing wine for people at a wedding party, healing a person with a terminal illness or a disability, feeding a multitude of people with a minimal amount of food, or raising a friend from the dead, He was showing love to people. In The Orthodox Heretic and Other Impossible Tales, Peter Rollins notes that the true significance of a miracle is not some change in the physical universe but a change within a person's heart.⁵ The miraculous acts of Jesus transformed people's lives in profound ways.

Perhaps we experience a miracle whenever our senses are awakened to the love of God that is all around us all the time, whether we experience this love in some amazing event that defies reason or in a simple everyday occurrence like a sunset, a flower, the vivid green of leaves in the spring, the singing of a bird, or a cool breeze on a hot day.

In the 1999 drama American Beauty, teenage videophile Ricky is able to see beauty all around him, and he seeks to capture this beauty on film. At one point in the movie he shows his muse Jane what he calls "the most beautiful thing [he] ever filmed" - a plastic bag blown around by the wind. He describes the bag as dancing and compares it to "a little kid begging [him] to play with it." He goes on to say, "That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things and this incredibly benevolent Force that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid, ever." Ricky saw the love of God in something as simple as a bag tossed by the wind.

On that night I found encouragement in the song I heard on the radio, maybe I experienced a miracle regardless of whether or not God caused the disk jockey at the radio station to play the song at that exact moment. Christian radio stations always play songs with uplifting messages, but the things that inspire these songs, namely God's love, mercy, and grace, are always present as well. Maybe the miracle is that God used that song to open my senses to this love, mercy, and grace when I needed most to be aware of them.

Do miracles really happen? I believe so. Maybe miracles happen all around us, all the time, whether we recognize them or not. Maybe the whole world is a miracle, and maybe everything God created is a sign that points us to God's steadfast love if we will only stop and take notice.


Notes:
1 - Erwin Raphael McManus. The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith Within. 2005, Nelson Books. pp 71-77
2 - John 2:1-11; 4:46-54; 5:1-9; 6:1-14; 6:16-21; 9:1-7; 11:1-45
3 - See my introspection "Through My Glasses, Darkly"
4 - Homebrewed Christianity: "The Creatio Ex Nihilo Debate!" 05/25/2012
5 - Peter Rollins. The Orthodox Heretic and Other Impossible Tales. 2009, Paraclete Press. pp 168-173


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.

Perspective: Rebels with a Cause

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

Rebels with a Cause

Scripture:

Then the Son of Man appeared - He... ate with sinners and drank wine. And the people said, "This man is a glutton! He's a drunk! And He hangs around with tax collectors and sinners, to boot." Well, Wisdom will be vindicated by her actions - not by your opinions.

Matthew 11:19 (The Voice)

Give me words, I'll misuse them

Obligations, I'll misplace them

'Cause all religion ever made of me

Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet

It never set me free

From "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray

Back in the month of April, I had the opportunity to teach Sunday school at my church two weeks in a row. Both of the lessons were based on stories of Jesus found in the Gospel According to St. John. I was familiar with both of these stories, but what struck me the most as I prepared to lead Sunday school those two weeks was the fact that Jesus, the Son of God, broke a lot of rules during His ministry here on earth.

Perhaps it could even be said that Jesus was a rebel.

One day Jesus and His disciples are traveling trough a region called Samaria, and, while His disciples go to buy food, Jesus, tired and thirsty, sits down at a well and asks a Samaritan woman for a drink of water. Jesus then strikes up a conversation with her, offering her "living water" that will quench the very thirsts of her soul. This conversation changes her life, and she goes on to share the message of Jesus with others.¹

In our day and time, we might not think that Jesus' striking up a conversation with a random woman over a drink of water was a big deal, but, in reality, Jesus was flouting a number of the social conventions of His culture. In Jesus day, Jews hated Samaritans, so the woman was naturally surprised that Jesus, a Jewish man, would speak to her. The fact that Jesus and His disciples were even traveling through the region was remarkable in itself. Furthermore, the woman was promiscuous, and Jesus was aware of this. No good, upstanding Jewish man would ask a promiscuous, Samaritan woman for a drink of water, much less have a heart-to-heart conversation with her.

Later on, Jesus and His disciples meet a man who has been blind since the day he was born. Jesus spits on the ground, makes mud, puts the mud on the man's eyes, and tells Him to go and wash in a pool. After the blind man does this, he is miraculously able to see. When the religious leaders learn about this miraculous healing, they become very upset with Jesus, for Jesus had healed the man on the Sabbath day.² The fourth of the Ten Commandments forbids people from working on the Sabbath day and commands people to set the day aside for resting.³ Healing was considered to be work.

In the first story, Jesus breaks the rules of His society. In the second, He seems to break the Fourth Commandment, one of the Jewish people's most stringently-observed religious rules. Jesus and His disciples were criticized a number of times for what they did on the Sabbath, and Jesus was criticized time and again for associating with people not welcome in polite society.

Ironically, Jesus reserved His harshest critique for the people who were the best at following the rules, namely the Pharisees and teachers of the Jewish Law. One day, a Pharisee invites Jesus to dinner, and, when Jesus doesn't wash His hands before eating, He is criticized for not following the rituals of His more pious brethren. Jesus then launches into a tirade against the Pharisees and religious scholars present, sharply condemning them for their hypocrisy, their self-importance, and their utter lack of compassion.⁴

Was it not God who gave the Pharisees the rules they worked so hard to follow? As the Son of God, why would Jesus take such a cavalier attitude toward the Law? One would think that Jesus would be entrusted with the task of upholding the Law and commending those who adhered to the Law.

Maybe it would be a good idea to stop and consider the purpose of religious rules in the first place. One day, a scholar of the Jewish Law asks Jesus which of the 613 commandments in the Law is the most important. Jesus answers that to love God with all one's heart, soul, and mind is the most important and that to love one's neighbor as oneself is the second most important. He goes on to say, "On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."⁵ Jesus is essentially saying that all commandments given by God and all messages of the prophets of God were grounded in the command to love. The Law exists to keep peace in the world because people don't always love as they are called.

Perhaps it is possible for a person to follow the letter of the law while, at the same time, failing to embody the spirit of the law. I believe that it is for this reason that Jesus found fault with the Pharisees and religious scholars. Jesus, in His rant, recognized that the Pharisees outwardly followed the rules of the Law, but He criticized them for neglecting those in need. Likewise Jesus recognized that the religious scholars taught the Law to others, but He criticized them for not helping people to follow the Law and for making the Law unnecessarily difficult to follow.

With that in mind, perhaps it is sometimes necessary to break the rules in order to do what is right. When Jesus healed people on the Sabbath, He was not acting in rebellion to the Laws of His religion: Jesus was acting to show love to people in need regardless of what day it was. There was a time in my life when I understood Christianity as a system of rules, an endless list of "Thou Shalt Nots." Since then, I have come to realize that truly following Christ might actually require a person to break the rules. There might even come a time when a follower of Christ will need to break the rules of the religious establishment.

Jesus is not the only rule breaker honored in the Bible. The Old Testament Book of Joshua tells the story of a woman named Rahab who lived in the city of Jericho. Rahab hides two Israelite spies and lies to the local police, telling them that the spies have already left the city. Rahab then pleads with the spies to spare her and her family in the upcoming battle between Jericho and Israel. It is generally considered a sin to lie, but by telling a lie Rahab spared the lives of the Israelite spies and ensured the safety of her family.⁶ Rahab is even given a place in the ancestry of Jesus Christ⁷ and is honored in Scripture as a hero of faith.^{8 9}

I imagine that, during the time of the Holocaust, some people had to make similar choices when hiding people from the Gestapo.

So when should a person break the rules? Sometimes we are tempted to break rules in order to benefit ourselves, but at other times it might be necessary to break the rules in order to show love to other people. I will never tell you that "the ends justify the means," but life is not always simple, and very few issues - if any - are completely black and white, devoid of any gray area. When you face a difficult decision, put your own self-interests aside, and let love for God and love for other people be your guide.

Mark Twain's classic novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn recounts the travels of the titular character Huck with a runaway slave named Jim. Huck had grown up in a culture in which slavery was the norm and in which slaves were considered to be property. In such a culture, to help a slave escape would be tantamount to stealing. At one point in the story, Huck is faced with the choice either to turn Jim in or to continue helping him to escape and thus to violate the Sixth Commandment. Ultimately, he decides not to turn Jim in, saying to himself, "All right then, I’ll go to hell."¹⁰

Huck knows the rules, but his conscience and his love for his friend would not allow him to obey. He essentially decides to sacrifice his own soul for the sake of another person. Some would condemn such a decision, "for what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"¹¹ Personally, I think that there is something radically Christlike about Huck's choice.

Not long after the Second World War, Dr. John Mackie, the president of the Church of Scotland, traveled to the Balkans with two other ministers. At one point in the journey the three visit an Orthodox priest who offers them each a glass of wine. The two other ministers piously refuse, but Mackie gladly drinks a glass of wine and asks for another. Appalled by his actions, the two later ask him if he drinks. Mackie replies, "No I don't, but somebody had to be a Christian."¹² Dr. Mackie didn't believe in drinking alcohol, but he drank wine to honor the priest's hospitality and to set the priest at ease.

If Jesus had followed the rules, the Samaritan woman at the well would not have received the "living water" that quenched the the thirsts of her soul. If Jesus had followed the rules, the blind man would have been left to beg for the rest of his life. If Rahab had followed the rules, the two Israelite spies would have been killed, and Rahab and her family would not have been spared in the upcoming battle. If the literary character Huck Finn had followed the rules, his friend Jim would have had to face the unthinkable. If Dr. Mackie had followed the rules, he would have left the priest ashamed and embarrassed.

These people were all rebels with a cause,

and the cause was love.


Notes:
1 - John 4:4-42
2 - John 9
3 - Exodus 20:8-11
4 - Luke 11:37-54
5 - Matthew 22:34-40 (NRSV quoted)
6 - Joshua 2
7 - Matthew 1:1-17
8 - Hebrews 11:30-31
9 - For more thoughts about the story of Rahab, see my perspective "From Humility to Honor." 
10 - Mark Twain. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Ch 31
11 - Mark 8:36 (KJV)
12 - Michael Yaconelli. Messy Spirituality. 2007, Zondervan. p. 68-69

The painting featured in this perspective, Christ Healing the Blind Man, was painted by Eustache Le Sueur in the 1600s.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.

Introspection: Letters to Myself

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

Letters to Myself

Scripture:

When I was a child, I spoke, thought, and reasoned in childlike ways as we all do. But when I became a man, I left my childish ways behind. For now, we can only see a dim and blurry picture of things, as when we stare into polished metal. I realize that everything I know is only part of the big picture. But one day, when Jesus arrives, we will see clearly, face-to-face. In that day, I will fully know just as I have been wholly known by God. But now faith, hope, and love remain; these three virtues must characterize our lives. The greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 (The Voice)

Be strong in the Lord

And never give up hope

You're gonna do great things

I already know

God's got His hand on you

So don't live life in fear

Forgive and forget

But don't forget why you're here

Take your time and pray

These are the words I would say

From "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets

At the end of my senior year of high school, my English teacher gave us soon-to-be graduates an assignment to write letters to ourselves ten years into the future. With my ten-year reunion just a few days away, I recently received the letter I wrote in the mail.

This is what I wrote:

May 6, 2002

Dear Anthony (Or is it Tony now?),

How are you doing? I'm doing well. I just turned eighteen, which means that you're probably twenty-eight now, right? I went on the senior trip a couple of weeks ago. Do you still remember what it was like on your senior trip? Aren't you glad you decided to go? I surely am. Right now, I'm reading Oliver Twist, and I'm in the midst of writing my valedictorian speech. Do you remember your senior year?

Enough about me. How is your life going? What did you finally decide to major in? Did it lead you to a good job? I'm still unemployed as I'm writing this. Do you have a girlfriend or a wife yet? If not, don't worry: twenty-eight's young. You'll find Miss Right sooner or later. I hope you're still going to church. How is your family? Mine is doing well.

Do you still like to play with computers? Did you finally get your StarCraft levels done? Do computers or computer games have anything to do with your job? I'm working on a new website at the time. Have you taken up any new hobbies? I'm probably going to start a stamp collection someday. Do you still have yours? Do you still collect coins? Has it made you any money?

Well, I guess it's time to bring this letter to a close. Give my love to the family. Don't forget to count your blessings and to thank God for the gifts He's given you. Godspeed to you in your life.

Your younger self,

Anthony Snyder


P.S. If I hear back from you, I'm really going to be freaked out!

On Facebook recently, some of the people in my graduating class mentioned receiving the letters they had written to their future selves and proclaimed that their lives turned out much better than they had imagined in high school. Ever the Great Cynical High King of Sour Grapes, I thought to myself, "Good for you! My life sucks." Unlike my classmates, I am not quite as enthusiastic about how my life has unfolded.

When I finally opened my letter, having recently reflected on how I would live my life differently if I could do it all over again, I decided to write a reply to my past self.

June 7, 2012

Dear Anthony,

I finally received the letter you sent me, and, at the risk of freaking you out, I thought I would write you back. Your suspicions are correct: I am indeed going by Tony now. Back when I was your age, I too wanted a fresh start when I went to college, and I thought a name change would be a good way to signify it. The idea of a fresh start or a second chance has become somewhat of a recurring theme in my life, particularly in the past few years. I have come to realize that true change in a person's life involves much more than a change in a person's name: it involves a lot of messing up and learning and growing.

It's hard to believe that it has already been ten years since I graduated from high school. My memories of my senior year, like most of my memories in general, are rather hazy. I'm glad you enjoyed your senior trip - I barely remember mine. Perhaps I should meet up with some of my roommates from that trip to reminisce.

It figures you would mention our favorite computer game in your letter. Sadly, I never finished the levels I was creating for it, but I have found other creative outlets since then. I don't really play too many video games nowadays - I have plenty of other things to keep me busy. It turns out that I did end up majoring in computer science, and my first job as a computer programmer was writing code for video games. Unfortunately, they were the type of video game that causes people to lose a lot of money while playing. Thankfully, that job is behind me, and I now have a much better programming job at Greenville Tech.

You asked me about my hobbies. The truth is, I am not really collecting anything right now except life lessons. I did get a stamp collection kit for Christmas one year, but I never actually started it. I have been dancing a lot lately, though. Some of my college friends introduced me to contra dancing and swing dancing. You should try dancing sometime - you'd like it a lot more than you think you would. It's a lot of fun, and it will give you the chance to meet a lot of wonderful, interesting people.

I'm sad to say that I am not married, nor am I dating anyone, but I'm glad to see that you're holding out hope for me. To tell you the truth, I think, over the years, I might have been looking more for a status, a milestone, or personal affirmation than for true love. I wonder if that's your problem as well. Forget about relationships and forget about getting married: just get to know people and let them get to know you. Love people for who they are and not for who they might be to you someday. I know you're still hurt by the rejection you faced in the last few years. Please don't let it get to you: all you can do is to be the best you that you can be. It's up to other people to love and accept you, and, if they cannot (or will not), it's their problem and not yours. Always remember that God loves you and accepts you, so you have no reason not to love and accept yourself.

You'll be happy to know that I still go to church every week. In fact, I am now more involved in the Church than I have ever been. I now teach Sunday school regularly, and I even preach on occasions. I bet you never suspected I'd be doing that! Actually, you might have suspected it somewhere deep down in your soul. On a related note, three years ago, I started a blog where I write about my own spiritual journey. I also post the sermons I write along with other thoughts I want to share. Right now I have only a handful of readers, but hopefully things will pick up someday.

The family is doing well. Mom and Dad have both gone through job changes in recent years. Mom's taken up basket weaving, and she's having a lot of fun with it. Mama and Grandma are both doing alright. I'm sad to say that Papa passed away about eight years ago. We both know that he was not easy to be around, but I still wish I had had a better relationship with him. I remember that every day when he took me to school he would look at his watch and tell me how much time I had left to get to class (or how late I was for class). I asked Mama if I could have that watch, and I now keep it in a drawer in the living room.

Thank you for reminding me to count my blessings and to be thankful for what I have. So often I forget to do these things. A lot of times I talk as if my life is horrible, but the truth is that I just forget how good my life truly is. I'm realizing that sometimes I just need to take a moment to stop focusing on what's wrong with my life and to remember what's good about my life.

I appreciate the encouragement you're offering me in your letter, but I can't help but think that maybe you're being just a little bit glib. I realize that you are holding back what you are truly feeling because you know that your teacher will be reading your letter, and I know that you think you have to keep up appearances at your school. I know that you're actually struggling with a lot of stuff at this time in your life.

I know that deep down you're not really sure if you want to be a Christian. I know you're wrestling with questions about the afterlife, about the nature of God, and about how God is calling you to live your life. I know what rules you have had to follow at school and what you have been told to believe, and I know the anxiety these things have created in your heart. I really think you should speak with someone about these things as soon as possible, perhaps someone in your church. Find someone you can trust, someone who will listen to you without judging you. Opening up to people can be difficult, especially when you feel like you have had to guard yourself for so long, but it is very much worth it. We are not meant to journey through this life by ourselves.

I know that you will to have to take a year off from school next year before you start college. I know that you're planning to attend the college closest to you, but I think you should reconsider. Don't get me wrong: I know firsthand that Furman University is a wonderful institution, and I am sure you will do well there, as I have. Still, I think you need to put more thought into your future. Take some time to visit various colleges and universities, and take some time to consider what you really want to study. Don't be afraid to leave home for a few years. I know that you're planning to major in computer science, but please make sure that this type of work is what you really want to do. Don't be afraid to stretch yourself and to try new things. Take the next year to figure out what it is you really want to do with your life. Don't look for a job: look for a calling.

When you do start college, wherever you end up going, I encourage you to seek out a loving Christian community. I know that there are no other young people at your church and that you are in desperate need for a peer group. The community I joined at Furman was instrumental in my life. From the people I met in this community, I learned that I not only need Christ in my life but actually want Christ in my life. From them, I learned that I can be a Christian and enjoy life at the same time. I went on a number of mission trips with them, and I learned that mission work is a lot more fun than one might think.

I know how much you hate getting unwanted advice from people, but I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I made.

I passed along your regards to the family - please do the same for me. Also, please tell your mom I'm sorry for all the grief I've given her over the years (and will continue to give her).

Don't get discouraged with yourself, and always remember that God loves you.

Your older (and wiser) self,

Tony

If I could send a letter to my eighteen-year-old self, knowing what I know now at twenty-eight years of age, this is what I would write. This is the advice I wish I had heeded when I was younger. I once heard Peter Rollins say that a love letter always ends up where it needs to go, even if the writer never mails it, for so often people work through their own feelings in writing letters.¹ I wouldn't call this a love letter, but I can definitely say that I wrote it to work through some of my feelings of regret.

I know that my past self will never read the letter I wrote him, so I offer both of these letters to you the reader, hoping that they might speak to you in some way.


Notes:
1 - Peter Rollins. "Pyro-theology." Mars Hill Bible Church podcast, 02/20/11.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.