I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.
My Enemy
Scripture:
For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Romans 7:14-15My Enemy
Scripture:
For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
I cry out to God
Seeking only His decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
From "My Own Prison" by Creed
It has been said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Whoever said that should have included this as the next line: "Hate your job, and you will put in a lot of unpaid overtime." I know this from experience.
My first job as a professional computer programmer was in an industry that is, to say the least, frivolous; some would even consider it to be harmful. When I took the job, my boss said that he wanted a real commitment from me. When I got to know my co-workers, I found that he was not kidding. Some of them had to respond to problems after office hours, often working late into the night. Others would go out of town, working night and day on installations and maintenance.
Some of my co-workers did not do a good job of balancing their work and their lives at home, causing their marriages and their families to suffer. My boss and his wife hardly ever saw each other because their careers kept them on separate continents. Two other co-workers who were married to each other split up, and I speculate that workaholism was no small part of it. My supervisor would put in time at the office and then go home and work until early in the morning, causing his wife to often become angry with him. Later on, he began working out of town during the week, putting even more strain on his family and on his marriage. He even once joked that he forgot what his children looked like.
I could not understand how these people could put their jobs first in their lives, especially in this particular industry. I feared that my boss expected no less of a sacrifice from me, and I feared that my supervisor sought to mold me into his image. I vowed not to let this happen. I was determined not to let my job take over my life.
As paranoia sank in, my boss became my enemy. I saw him as a ruthless slave driver with no sense of human compassion, and I saw my supervisor as his obedient servant. My days started to feel like eight-hour panic attacks, full of dread for what my boss and my supervisor might demand of me next. Each new demand became a further intrusion into my personal life. I lived for the weekend, and I spent most of the weekend dreading the next week. I was miserable.
Eventually, I came to the realization that I had done exactly what I had set out not to do. I was doing the thing for which I condemned my co-workers. I had put my job first, allowing my personal life to suffer. I was not putting in the same hours as my co-workers, but by consuming myself with worry and dread, I was giving my job first place in my life. My fear that my job would take over my life had become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In my mind, I saw my boss as my enemy, but my true enemy was no one else but the man in the mirror. I put myself through a hell of my own imagining.
Most of my fears never came true. In the twenty-three months I worked at that job, I only worked one weekend, and I only worked one late night. I only had to stay late at the office a handful of times, and most of the time I was able to leave at five o'clock. Some of the time, I actually had trouble keeping myself busy. Despite all this, my boss and my supervisor were generally pleased with my work. Looking back, I have to admit that I had it pretty easy.
Unless I someday get the chance to ask God directly, I may never know whether or not it was His will for me to take that job. Nevertheless, I have learned some important lessons from my experience. First, a person should try to find work to which he or she can be dedicated. This is my top priority as I look for my next job. Second, it is important for one to balance his work and his personal life, whether or not he likes his job. When I find my next job, I hope that I will, at the end of the day, leave my work at the office and live the other parts of my life to the fullest.
Seeking only His decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
From "My Own Prison" by Creed
It has been said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Whoever said that should have included this as the next line: "Hate your job, and you will put in a lot of unpaid overtime." I know this from experience.
My first job as a professional computer programmer was in an industry that is, to say the least, frivolous; some would even consider it to be harmful. When I took the job, my boss said that he wanted a real commitment from me. When I got to know my co-workers, I found that he was not kidding. Some of them had to respond to problems after office hours, often working late into the night. Others would go out of town, working night and day on installations and maintenance.
Some of my co-workers did not do a good job of balancing their work and their lives at home, causing their marriages and their families to suffer. My boss and his wife hardly ever saw each other because their careers kept them on separate continents. Two other co-workers who were married to each other split up, and I speculate that workaholism was no small part of it. My supervisor would put in time at the office and then go home and work until early in the morning, causing his wife to often become angry with him. Later on, he began working out of town during the week, putting even more strain on his family and on his marriage. He even once joked that he forgot what his children looked like.
I could not understand how these people could put their jobs first in their lives, especially in this particular industry. I feared that my boss expected no less of a sacrifice from me, and I feared that my supervisor sought to mold me into his image. I vowed not to let this happen. I was determined not to let my job take over my life.
As paranoia sank in, my boss became my enemy. I saw him as a ruthless slave driver with no sense of human compassion, and I saw my supervisor as his obedient servant. My days started to feel like eight-hour panic attacks, full of dread for what my boss and my supervisor might demand of me next. Each new demand became a further intrusion into my personal life. I lived for the weekend, and I spent most of the weekend dreading the next week. I was miserable.
Eventually, I came to the realization that I had done exactly what I had set out not to do. I was doing the thing for which I condemned my co-workers. I had put my job first, allowing my personal life to suffer. I was not putting in the same hours as my co-workers, but by consuming myself with worry and dread, I was giving my job first place in my life. My fear that my job would take over my life had become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In my mind, I saw my boss as my enemy, but my true enemy was no one else but the man in the mirror. I put myself through a hell of my own imagining.
Most of my fears never came true. In the twenty-three months I worked at that job, I only worked one weekend, and I only worked one late night. I only had to stay late at the office a handful of times, and most of the time I was able to leave at five o'clock. Some of the time, I actually had trouble keeping myself busy. Despite all this, my boss and my supervisor were generally pleased with my work. Looking back, I have to admit that I had it pretty easy.
Unless I someday get the chance to ask God directly, I may never know whether or not it was His will for me to take that job. Nevertheless, I have learned some important lessons from my experience. First, a person should try to find work to which he or she can be dedicated. This is my top priority as I look for my next job. Second, it is important for one to balance his work and his personal life, whether or not he likes his job. When I find my next job, I hope that I will, at the end of the day, leave my work at the office and live the other parts of my life to the fullest.
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