Sermon: The Hard Work of Forgiveness

Delivered at Travelers Rest United Methodist Church in Travelers Rest, South Carolina on August 20, 2023

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The Hard Work of Forgiveness

Audio Version

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Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?  As many as seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.  When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made.  So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’  And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt.  But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’  Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’  But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt.  When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place.  Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave!  I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’  And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.  So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Matthew 18:21-35 (NRSV)

I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

From “What I've Done” by Linkin Park

In the Gospel of Matthew, we read that one day, while Jesus is teaching His followers how they should handle disputes among themselves, the disciple Peter asks Him how many times he is required to forgive someone who wrongs him, suggesting that maybe he should forgive “as many as seven times.”  Jesus tells Peter that he must forgive someone who wrongs him not seven times but rather seventy-seven times.  In some translations of the Bible, like the King James Version, Jesus tells Peter that he must forgive seventy times seven times.¹  Evidently there has been some disagreement among translators regarding whether the Greek phrase Jesus uses means seventy times seven or seventy plus seven.  Jesus' point, I suspect, is that, whether we are required to forgive someone a maximum of seventy-seventy times or four hundred ninety times, we will likely lose count at some point along the way.

Jesus then tells a parable about a king who decides to collect some debts from his servants.  One of the king's servants owes ten thousand talents.  This servant is brought before the king, and, because he is unable to repay the debt, the king orders that the servant, his wife, his children, and all of his property be sold as payment for the debt.  Desperate, the servant falls to his knees and pleads with the king, saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.”  Overcome with pity, the king changes his mind and forgives the servant's debt.²

As the forgiven servant is leaving the king's palace, he encounters a fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii.  One would think that having just had a massive debt forgiven by the king himself would make the servant inclined to forgive a debt owed to him, but one would be wrong.  The forgiven servant grabs his debtor by the throat and demands immediate payment.  The indebted servant begs for more time to pay off the debt, just as the forgiven servant had begged just a few minutes earlier, but the forgiven servant does not extend to his fellow servant the forgiveness he was just shown.  Instead he has his fellow servant thrown into prison until he can repay the debt.³

Nowadays, the words denarii and talents don't mean very much to us when they are used as monetary units.  Perhaps putting these amounts into modern terms and crunching some numbers will give us some perspective on the debts the two servants in this parable owed.

The servant whose debt has been forgiven by the king is now refusing to forgive his fellow servant a debt of one hundred denarii.  In Jesus' day, a denarius is the typical daily wage for a common laborer.  In our present day, the minimum wage in our country is seven dollars and twenty-five cents per hour.  Someone who works a standard eight-hour workday at this hourly rate would earn fifty-eight dollars per day.  So, if a denarius in Jesus' day is equivalent to fifty-eight dollars in our day, then the servant is owed the equivalent of five thousand eight hundred dollars.⁴  The amount the servant refuses to forgive is not exactly chump change, but, as we shall soon see, it is a mere drop in an ocean compared to the amount he owed the king.

The unforgiving servant was forgiven a debt of ten thousand talents.  In Jesus' day, a talent is the amount of money a common laborer will earn over the course of fifteen years.  In our day, someone who works for the current minimum wage will earn two hundred ninety dollars in a standard forty-hour workweek.  Someone who works fifty standard workweeks per year for minimum wage will have an annual income of fourteen thousand five hundred dollars.  A worker who earns this amount every year for fifteen years will earn a total of two hundred seventeen thousand five hundred dollars.  If this amount in our day is equivalent to a talent in Jesus' day, then the unforgiving servant was forgiven a debt that was equivalent to two billion one hundred seventy-five million dollars!⁵  This same servant is now refusing to forgive a debt that is less than three percent of a percent of a percent of the amount he was forgiven.⁶

Word reaches the king that the servant whose ridiculously large debt he has just forgiven has just had a fellow servant imprisoned over a much smaller debt.  Enraged by the servant's pettiness and lack of mercy, he summons the servant and says to him, “You wicked slave!  I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?”  The king then reverses his decision to forgive the servant's debt and orders that the servant be tortured until he repays everything he owes.⁷

Jesus concludes His parable by warning His disciples in no uncertain terms that, if they refuse to forgive their brothers or sisters who have wronged them, then their Father in Heaven will refuse to forgive them for their own wrongdoings.⁸

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Like so many of Jesus' parables, the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant leaves us scratching our heads.  Overall the parable is easy to understand.  It is, I think, a safe assumption that the king represents God, while the servant represents each of us.  Like the servant in the parable, we who have been forgiven by God must decide whether or not we will forgive each other, knowing that God expects us to forgive.  The part that leaves us scratching our heads is the question of why a servant whose ridiculously massive debt has been forgiven would not be moved to forgive a comparatively measly debt.  Maybe the servant is simply a petty and ungrateful person; maybe the servant, unlike the king, believes that forgiving debts is beneath him; or maybe something else is going on in this parable.

Notice that the unforgiving servant never asks the king to forgive his debt.  He asks the king to be patient with him so that he can repay his debt in full.  When the king sees his servant begging for more time, he decides to forgive the debt, probably realizing that the servant will never be able to repay it.  Maybe the servant fails to accept that the king has forgiven his debt.  Maybe he doesn't want to be forgiven.  Maybe he doesn't think he needs to be forgiven.  Maybe he is so out of touch with reality that he actually thinks he can repay a debt that in all likelihood he would never be able to repay in a thousand lifetimes.  Maybe he refuses to forgive the debt that is owed to him because he is trying scrape together every penny he can possibly get in a feeble attempt to pay off a debt that he no longer owes.⁹

So why would someone who is drowning in a sea of debt not want to have his debt forgiven?

Forgiveness, truth be told, is a hard pill to swallow.  Not only can it be difficult to forgive other people at times, it can also be difficult to accept the forgiveness extended to us.  For the servant in Jesus' parable, to accept that the king has forgiven his debt would mean accepting that he has screwed up so badly that he cost the king an exorbitant amount of money he will never be able to pay back and accepting that the king has decided to eat the financial loss he suffered because of him.  Such admissions would not be easy for the servant if he happens to be an especially proud person.

I suspect that, if we're honest, we have to admit that we don't always want to be forgiven for our wrongdoings, because truly accepting forgiveness requires us to confront what we've done that had to be forgiven.  I think that often we would prefer to minimize or outright deny what we've done, to justify what we've done, to try in vain to undo what we've done, or, in our darker moments, to get what we deserve for what we've done.  Truly accepting forgiveness for our wrongdoings means confronting the reality that we have done real harm to other people, that we cannot undo the harm we have done, and that the people we have harmed have chosen not to seek retribution against us but rather to live with the harm we've done.  Then, having come to terms with these things, accepting forgiveness means putting what we've done behind us and moving forward with our lives.

Forgiveness is something Jesus emphasizes throughout His earthly ministry.

In the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus teaches His followers how to pray, He gives them a prayer that contains the following petition: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”¹⁰  Either He is teaching His followers to commit themselves to forgiving other people as they ask God for forgiveness, or He is teaching His followers to ask God to forgive them only to the extent that they have forgiven others people.  Jesus goes on to say, rather directly, “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”¹¹

In the same sermon, Jesus also teaches His followers to love not only their neighbors but also their enemies and to pray for the people who mistreat them.¹²

On at least one occasion, when Jesus miraculously heals a person, He makes it a point to first tell him that his sins are forgiven.¹³

In the Gospel of Mark, we read that, when Jesus teaches the Disciples about the power of prayer – that, if they have faith, they can command a mountain to be thrown into the sea – He makes it a point to say to them, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”¹⁴

Jesus demonstrates forgiveness for us most powerfully in the Gospel of Luke.  After He is nailed to a cross, He prays for the people who are crucifying Him, saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”¹⁵

It is important to Jesus that people know that God forgives them for the wrongs they have committed, and it is important to Jesus that people forgive the wrongs that have been committed against them.

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Interestingly, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in order to teach us something about the Kingdom of God.  Specifically, He tells us that the Kingdom of God is like the king in the parable who settles debts with his servants.  Someone else in the Bible who speaks about the Kingdom of God is the prophet Isaiah.  Isaiah prophesies that a future leader will be empowered by the Spirit of God to bring about justice and peace.¹⁶  He goes on to describe what life will be like under this leader's reign.  He says,

The wolf will live with the lamb,
and the leopard will lie down with the young goat;
the calf and the young lion will feed together,
and a little child will lead them.
The cow and the bear will graze.
Their young will lie down together,
and a lion will eat straw like an ox.
A nursing child will play over the snake’s hole;
toddlers will reach right over the serpent’s den.
They won’t harm or destroy anywhere on my holy mountain.
The earth will surely be filled with the knowledge of the Lord,
just as the water covers the sea. ¹⁷

Notice the kinds of animals that Isaiah mentions in his vision of the Kingdom.  Wolves, leopards, lions, bears, and snakes are predators, and lambs, young goats, calves, cows, and oxen are their prey.  Isaiah envisions a Peaceable Kingdom in which creatures that were formerly predators can peacefully coexist with creatures that were formerly their prey.  I do not think that the prophet is telling us that wild animals and livestock will literally turn from their natural instincts in the Kingdom of God – although, it is written, “For God all things are possible.”¹⁸  I think that maybe the animals in Isaiah's vision actually represent people.  Perhaps Isaiah is teaching us that the Kingdom of God is a place where all of God's children can live together in peace, despite the harm they have done to each other in the past.

If, metaphorically speaking, wolves and lambs are going to live peacefully with each other in the Kingdom of God, then two things must happen.  First, the wolves must repent of their past treatment of the lambs and change their ways.  Otherwise, the lambs will never be safe among the wolves, and the Kingdom of God will be nothing but a fox-guarded henhouse.  Second, the lambs must forgive the wolves for how the wolves have treated them in the past.  Otherwise, the wolves will never be accepted among them.  Notice that, along with forgiveness, repentance is something Jesus emphasizes in His ministry.  In fact, He begins His ministry by announcing, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”¹⁹

Though we might be tempted to split humanity and categorize people as either wolves or lambs, we all know that reality is a bit more complex.  In the words of author and historian Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.  But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.  And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? ²⁰

Generally speaking, by the end of our lives, each of us will have been a lamb to some wolves and a wolf to some lambs.  Each of us will have been harmed by other people, and each of us will have done harm to other people.  Each of us will have reasons to forgive, and each of us will have reasons to repent.

An early Christian hymn, which we read in the Letter to the Colossians, tells us that, in Christ, “all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell” and that, through Christ, “God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things.”²¹  Jesus, who came to reconcile humanity to God, emphasizes forgiveness throughout His ministry because reconciliation is impossible without it.  He makes it abundantly clear that, if we want to be part of what God is doing in the world, then we must be willing to forgive each other as God has forgiven each of us.  Forgiveness is essential, but it is not always easy, and it is, I suspect, often misunderstood.

Forgiveness is not pretending that we are not angry or hurt because of the wrongs that have been committed against us.  Bottling up such emotions is like placing a bandage on a wound that requires further treatment and pretending that it is not there.  It will only cause serious problems later on.  Regarding anger, Paul writes in the Letter to the Ephesians, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.”²²  Paul is encouraging us to allow ourselves to be angry but to work through our anger in healthy, constructive ways so that we do not end up letting our worst impulses take the wheel.  Sometimes forgiveness means allowing ourselves to enter into our anger and pain so that we can work through them and ultimately move past them.  We might need the help of people like Stephen ministers, counselors, or therapists to help us to process our pain and anger.

Forgiveness is not allowing ourselves to be proverbial doormats or leaving ourselves open to continuous abuse.  Refusing to pay someone back for their mistreatment is not the same as allowing their mistreatment to continue.  It is extremely difficult to forgive abusive people if the abuse is ongoing, so sometimes forgiveness starts with setting some hard boundaries with people, perhaps legal boundaries.  Though forgiveness excludes revenge, it does not exclude accountability.  Reconciliation is impossible without repentance, and people often need to be confronted and called to repentance.  Jesus' teaching about forgiving repeatedly immediately follows a teaching about how Jesus' followers are to confront each other when necessary and hold each other accountable.²³

Forgiveness is not always quick or easy.  In the same way that not all debts can be repaid, not all wrongs can be undone.  Some of the wrongs that are committed against us leave us permanently changed, and sometimes dreams are shattered.  Remembering what should have been in light of what remains can make forgiveness extremely difficult.  I wonder if, when Jesus says that we must forgive someone seventy-seven times, He might be saying that sometimes we have to decide to forgive the same specific offenses over and over again until we are finally able to move forward from them.

Christ came to earth to reconcile all things to God, including each and every one of us, and reconciliation is impossible without forgiveness.  Jesus announced that God has forgiven our wrongdoings, and He showed us how to forgive each other.  Forgiveness can be hard work, whether we are forgiving other people or accepting the forgiveness of other people, but it is hard work we must do if we are going to live the lives of love, peace, freedom, and wholeness God wants for us.  May God give us the strength to do the hard work of forgiveness.

Amen.


Notes:

1. Matthew 18:21-22
2. Matthew 18:23-27 (NRSV)
3. Matthew 18:28-30
4. $7.25/hour  x  8 hours/day  x  100 days  =  $5800.00
5. $7.25/hour  x  8 hours/day  x  5 days/week  x  50 weeks/year  x  15 years  x  10,000  =  $2,175,000,000.00
6. $2,175,000,000.00  x  .01  x  .01  x  .02667  =  $5,800.73
7. Matthew 18:31-34 (NRSV)
8. Matthew 18:35
9. David A. Seamands.  Healing for Damaged Emotions.  1981, David C. Cook.  p. 28-29
10. Matthew 6:12 (NRSV)
11. Matthew 6:14-15 (NRSV)
12. Matthew 5:44
13. Matthew 9:1–8; Mark 2:1–12; Luke 5:17–26
14. Mark 11:20-25 (NRSV)
15. Luke 23:33-34 (NRSV)
16. Isaiah 11:1-5
17. Isaiah 11:6-9 (CEB)
18. Matthew 19:26 (NRSV)
19. Matthew 4:17 (NRSV)
20. Wikiquote: “Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn”
21. Colossians 1:19-20 (NRSV)
22. Ephesians 4:26-27 (NRSV)
23. Matthew 18:15-20

Parable of the Wicked Servant was painted by Domenico Fetti in the early 1600s.