Perspective: What Every Child Needs to Hear

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

What Every Child Needs to Hear

Scripture:

Then a voice came from heaven, "You are My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

Mark 1:11 (NKJV)

Castles, they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
'Cause I will always, always love you

From "In My Arms" by Plumb

For the summer months, my Bible study group decided to watch and discuss Rob Bell's NOOMA video series. Recently, we watched the sixth in the series, titled Kickball. In this short video, Rob walks on a beach as he speaks. All the while, his son can be seen running around on the beach, in and out of the view of the camera. Rob tells a story about buying a kickball for his son, and, when he gets to the part where he hands his son the kickball, he quotes himself as saying, "Here you are, my son, with whom I am well pleased!"¹ For some reason, this one part of the video was stuck in my mind for days afterward.

If you are familiar with the Gospel story, you know that Rob Bell was paraphrasing God. Hearing Rob say this in his video made me think about the story of Jesus' baptism.

One day, not too long before Jesus starts His ministry, He goes to the Jordan River to be baptized by His cousin John, another teacher and prophet. As Jesus comes up out of the water, the heavens suddenly open. The Holy Spirit appears in the form of a dove and lands on Him. After that, God the Father calls out from heaven, saying, "You are My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."²

I have heard this story numerous times in my life, but, as I pondered this story recently, I began to wonder about something: for whom did God the Father say what He did? Did He say it so that those present would know that Jesus is the Son of God? Did He, perhaps, say it for Jesus Himself?

The story of Christ's baptism, in some form, can be found in each of the four Gospels. Each of these accounts, with the exception of John's Gospel, includes this quote from God the Father. Matthew's account begins this declaration, "This is My beloved Son," as if it was spoken to everyone present. Mark and Luke's accounts, on the other hand, begin the declaration, "You are My beloved son," as if God the Father was saying it for the encouragement of Jesus Himself.

Often we get so caught up in Christ's divinity that we forget Christ's humanity. Jesus was fully God, but at the same time He was fully human. This means that He had human needs: at times, He became hungry, thirsty, and tired. He also had human emotions: He laughed human laughs and cried human tears. As human beings, each of us has the emotional need to hear certain affirmations from our parents. Jesus was raised by his mother Mary and by His human father figure Joseph, but He knew that His real Father was God the Father. Perhaps, at Jesus' baptism, God the Father was saying to His Son things that all of us need to hear from our parents.

God the Father made a simple declaration about His Son Jesus, but this one statement says a lot. The more traditional New King James Version is quoted above, but some newer translations like the Common English Bible break this statement up quite nicely:

You are My Son, whom I dearly love; in You I find happiness.³

In this one statement, we find three affirmations that all sons and daughters need to hear from their parents. If you are a parent or if you someday hope to become a parent, please pay careful attention!

Affirmation #1
You are my child.

This first affirmation may sound like an obvious statement, but all children need to know that their parents claim them. Children need to know that they're wanted. Children need to know that their parents identify with them and that their parents are not ashamed of them.

Affirmation #2
I love you dearly.

All children need love and affection from their parents. Children need to know that their parents love them unconditionally. Children need to know that their parents will always love them and that there is nothing they can do to make their parents stop loving them.

Affirmation #3
You make me happy.

All children need approval from their parents. Children need to know that their parents are proud of them, even if it is for no other reason than the fact that they are their parents' children. Children need to know that their parents take joy in having them in their lives.

Since I have no children of my own, I obviously have no experience being a parent; I do, however, have more than twenty-seven years of experience being a son. Speaking as a son, I realize that I needed to know that my mother and my father loved me, that they wanted me, and that I made them happy. I'll admit that, even in my late twenties, I still sometimes need to hear these things from my parents.

These affirmations must be important if God the Father saw the need to rip open the very heavens to say them to His Son.

If you have children and fail to express your love, acceptance, and approval for them, then you will severely damage them emotionally and psychologically. Much of the brokenness in this world is a result of being unwanted, unloved, or unaccepted by one's parents - just ask any psychiatrist or counselor. This year, as Father's Day drew near, one of my favorite websites didn't feature any articles celebrating fathers but featured two articles about forgiving fathers and about finding healing from "father wounds."⁴ Wounds from one's parents affects one's relationships with others, one's relationship with oneself, and even one's relationship with God.

If you are a parent, if you intend to someday be a parent, or even if there is someone who looks at you as his or her parent, make sure that your children hear these affirmations loud and clear. Don't give them any mixed messages. Don't leave any room for them to doubt your acceptance, your love, or your approval. If you were unwanted, unloved, or unaccepted by your parents, I pray that you find healing, realizing that God loves you, that God wants you in His life, and that God regards you as someone worth dying for.


Notes:
1 - Rob Bell. Nooma Kickball | 006. Flannel.
2 - See Matthew 3:13-17, Mark 1:9-11, Luke 3:21-22, and John 1:29-34.
3 - From either Mark 1:11 or Luke 3:22 (CEB)
4 - See "The Stories Behind Absent" and "Finding Healing on Father's Day" from the RELEVANT Magazine website.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.