Perspective: Doubting with Anticipation

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Doubting with Anticipation

A week later His disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to Him, "My Lord and my God!"

John 20:26-28 (CEB)

Believing what I can't see

Has never come naturally to me

And I've got questions

But I am certain of a Love

Strong enough to hold me when I'm doubting

You'll never let go of my hand

From "Can Anybody Hear Me?" by Meredith Andrews

One year ago, my Bible study group was beginning a study on St. Paul's Letter to the Romans. This letter, probably the most famous of Paul's writings, reminded us that no amount of good works or good behavior can earn us favor with God and that we find salvation simply through faith in God's grace shown to us in Jesus Christ. This letter has been an inspiration to many people over the centuries including great church reformers like Martin Luther and John Wesley.

I consider myself the theological troublemaker of the group, so naturally I suggested that we study the Letter of St. James as a followup. On the surface, the two letters seem to contradict each other: in stark contrast to Paul, James notoriously stresses the necessity of good works in a life of faith. James even goes so far to say that "faith without works is dead."¹ While Martin Luther cherished the Book of Romans, he absolutely hated the Book of James. He even referred to it the "epistle of straw."

My time has finally come, and, in a few days, I will begin leading the group in a study of the Book of James. As I began studying the first chapter in preparation to lead, one passage stood out to me:
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.²

These can be troubling words for someone questioning his or her beliefs.

In some Christian circles, doubt is almost en vogue. Peter Rollins, one of my favorite thinkers, even says that "to believe is human" and that "to doubt is divine."³ Many people are being honest about their uncertainties, confronting their doubts face to face, and questioning their beliefs. Some would borrow imagery from the Old-Testament story of Jacob and say that such people are "wrestling with God." Still other Christians avoid doubt like the plague.

When considering James's words regarding doubt, I cannot help but think about the story of the disciple Thomas, who is most remembered for his doubt. In fact, people often call him "Doubting Thomas." When Thomas heard from the other disciples that Jesus had been resurrected from the dead, he said that he refused to believe unless he could touch the scars in Jesus' hands and side. One week later, Jesus appeared to the Disciples again. Jesus showed Thomas His scars and invited him to touch them. Thomas then said to Jesus, "My Lord and my God!"⁴

St. James says that anyone who doubts should not expect to receive anything from God. Thomas, on the other hand, doubted and challenged what the other Disciples said, and he received exactly what he wanted, proof that Jesus had indeed been resurrected.

To doubt, or not to doubt, that is the question.

I believe that, whether or not we want to admit it, we all go through times of doubt. Often we try to ignore or repress our doubts, but, when we do so, we do not truly work through our doubts but rather bury them deep within us. Personally, I believe that doubting can actually help us to grow in faith. According to author Philip Yancey,
Doubt is the skeleton in the closet of faith, and I know no better way to treat a skeleton than to bring it into the open and expose it for what it is: not something to hide or fear, but a hard structure on which living tissue may grow.⁵

When we doubt, we question; when we question, we learn; and when we learn, we grow. Our questioning could help us to grow more confident in our beliefs. Our questioning might also bring us to the realization that we were believing something wrong about God.

I think that the key to understanding James's harsh word about doubt is found in what he says about God. James encourages his readers to pray for wisdom and then says that God "gives generously to all." If a person does not believe that God is generous - that God will not answer his or her prayer - then why would the person pray in the first place? Notice also that James does not say that God will not give anything to someone who doubts: he says that someone who doubts "should not expect to receive anything from the Lord." If a person has already made up his mind that God will not answer his prayer, then he would likely not notice the answer to his prayer even if it was staring him right in the face.

On the other hand, if we pray with the expectation that God will act, then, at least subconsciously, we will begin looking for the answer to our prayers. Because of our anticipation, we will become more aware of God's working in our lives and we will be more aware of the blessings God gives us. I am not saying that we should expect God do exactly what we want. After all, God knows better than we do what is best for us. Still, if we pray with anticipation, we will be more likely to see and understand God's answer to our prayers, whatever form it might take.

Every week, my Bible study group goes out for dinner after Bible study. Sometimes, before Bible study, I pray that I will become better friends with someone that evening. When I pray this prayer, I find that I am very rarely disappointed, for I find that I grow closer to my friends and have more meaningful conversations with them. Because I pray with anticipation, I become more aware of God's blessing on my time with my friends.

I believe that we should always pray with anticipation, and I also believe that we should doubt with anticipation. We should be honest about our doubts and bring them to God with the anticipation that God will somehow address them. Pastor Harry Emerson Fosdick once said:
Faith without doubt is no faith at all. Ask your questions and have your doubts. That's a great thing. Just include God in on the conversation. If you do that honestly, the day will dawn when you question your questions and doubt your doubts.⁶

I think that maybe Thomas doubted with anticipation. I once heard one preacher say that maybe Thomas felt disappointed and left out because he was not around when Jesus appeared to the other Disciples. Though he doubted, he wanted Jesus to be alive and well, and he desired the experience with the Resurrected Christ that the other Disciples had. Christ graciously gave Thomas exactly what he wanted.⁷

One more story comes to mind about someone who doubted with anticipation. One day, a man asked Jesus to bring healing to his son. Jesus said, "All things are possible for the one who has faith." The man then said, "I have faith; help my lack of faith!"⁸

Yes, you read that right. The man said that he had faith and then, immediately afterward, said that he lacked faith. Was this not a very human thing to say? As humans, do the different aspects of our being not often contradict each other? I believe that the man was trying to say, "Lord, I want to believe so badly, but I have been disappointed so many times in the past that I can't! Please help me to believe!" The man wanted to believe, so he offered his doubt to Christ.

We all go through times of doubt. When you have doubts, may you be honest about them and confront them. May you take your doubts to God with the anticipation that God will make your seeds of doubt grow into living faith.


Notes:
1 - See James 2:17 and 2:26.
2 - James 1:5-8 (NIV)
3 - This is essentially the subtitle of his book Insurrection.
4 - John 20:24-29
5 - Philip Yancey. Reaching for the Invisible God. 2002, Zondervan.
6 - Chris Brooks. Flirt: "Cloudy Faith." The Engage Podcast. 2009, Wayfarer.
7 - Dave Rhodes. Flirt: "Love Lockdown." The Engage Podcast. 2009, Wayfarer.
8 - Mark 9:14-29 (CEB quoted)

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas was painted by Caravaggio.