Notes from the Wayside: Lenten Reflection: The Light Exposes the Darkness

The following is the third in a series of reflections on The Great Divorce.
For more reflections on this work, check out the hub page for the series.

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The Light Exposes the Darkness

A reflection on chapter 2 of C.S. Lewis's The Great Divorce

And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.

John 3:19-21 (NRSV)

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

From "What I've Done" by Linkin Park

I once heard Peter Rollins remark that the most successful Christian denomination is Alcoholics Anonymous.¹ I think that maybe he has a point. Perhaps salvation is less like a simple three-step process, as it is presented by many Christians, and more like a grueling twelve-step process found in an addiction recovery program, following which one is in a perpetual state of recovery. Interestingly, both processes begin with the same step, the admission that one has a problem from which he or she needs to be saved.

As the bus continues on its flight, the view of the town below morphs into a featureless field of gray stretching as far as the eye can see. The protagonist waits on the bus for hours, speaking with various other passengers - a poet who became so fed up with his life that he threw himself beneath a train, an intelligent man who wants to find some "real commodities" at their destination and introduce them to the town they just left, and a bishop who has some surprisingly high hopes for the town. At one point, a brawl breaks out on the bus. Shots are fired, but somehow nobody is harmed.

As the bus approaches its destination, light floods the bus, and the protagonist begins to see the other passengers in a new way. In his own words,
I shrank from the faces and forms by which I was surrounded. They were all fixed faces, full not of possibilities but impossibilities, some gaunt, some bloated, some glaring with idiotic ferocity, some drowned beyond recovery in dreams; but all, in one way or another, distorted and faded. One had a feeling that they might fall to pieces at any moment if the light grew much stronger.

And then, in a mirror in the back of the bus, the protagonist catches a glimpse of his own reflection.

Around two thousand years ago, in the Middle East, there lived a man named Saul. To say that Saul was a devout Jew would be an understatement: he kept the Jewish Law to the letter and sought to keep his religion pure from the heresy that was spreading at the time, the idea that an executed criminal named Jesus was the long-awaited Messiah and that this Jesus had been resurrected from the dead. He took part in the execution of at least one such heretic, and he received permission to track down other heretics that fled from Jerusalem to the town of Damascus.²

On the way to Damascus, a blinding light knocks Saul to his knees, and a Voice calls out, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Saul asks, "Who are you, Lord?" and the Voice answers, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting." Saul arises, unable to see.³ Barry Taylor would say that Saul has experienced a "revelation of darkness." Saul not only sees the light, he sees the darkness as well. He is blinded, left in the dark to face the fact that he had been persecuting innocent people.⁴

I would say that, when the protagonist of The Great Divorce is exposed to the light of Heaven and sees his own reflection, he has his own "revelation of darkness," for he sees himself for who he really is. It is not uncommon for people to be afraid of the dark, but I wonder if, in some sense, a fear of the Light might actually be a lot more common. When we are exposed to the pure Light of Heaven, we are forced to confront the truth about ourselves, including the things we don't particularly want to see in ourselves.

The Light exposes the darkness.

We are promised that, if we honestly confess our wrongdoings and offer our brokenness to God, we will find grace in the form of forgiveness and healing.⁵ If God is truly all-knowing, then, when we confess such things to God, we are not actually telling God anything that God doesn't already know. Confession to God requires us to get real about ourselves, telling those secrets we've been trying to keep from ourselves.

Stepping out into the light and facing our own darkness can be truly frightening, but it is the only way to find salvation and recovery. Jesus once said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners."⁶ Sick people cannot receive treatment if they're unwilling to admit they're sick and go to the doctor, and, likewise, we cannot receive healing from God if we are in denial that we are broken.

Facing our own brokenness can be scary, but we can take comfort in the promise that, amid the darkness, we will find grace. Saul received grace in the form of healing, a new community, a new faith, a new purpose in life, and even a new name; the passengers on the bus will receive new life in Heaven if they will only accept it; and we are likewise invited to receive new and abundant life. May we not be afraid of the Light. May we not be afraid to face the truth about ourselves - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and may we be open to the grace God offers us.

Notes:

Barry Taylor, Tripp Fuller, Peter Rollins, and Bo Sanders. "Revelation of Darkness LIVE Event: Taylor’s F-it Theology, Rollins reaches behind the curtain." Homebrewed Christianity Podcast, 05/08/13. (Warning: This podcast episode contains coarse language.)
See Philippians 3:4-6, Acts 7:58, and Acts 9:1-2.
Acts 9:3-9
Homebrewed Christianity Podcast, 05/08/13.
1 John 1:9
Mark 2:17 (NRSV)