Lenten Perspective: A Clean Heart

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A Clean Heart

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24 (NRSV)

A court is in session

A verdict is in

No appeal on the docket today

Just my own sin

From "My Own Prison" by Creed

One night, at a time when King David should have been commanding his troops in battle, he sat on the rooftop of his palace, gazing out at the city below, and he caught a glimpse of a woman bathing.  He liked what he saw, so he sent his men out to bring her to back to the palace, and he had his way with her.¹  Weeks later, Bathsheba, the woman David raped, informed him that she was pregnant.  Because her husband Uriah had been off at war, there was zero possibility that the child could be his.  David, having failed all of his desperate attempts to cover up his wrongdoing, arranged to have Uriah killed in battle and then married Bathsheba himself.²

After these events unfolded, the prophet Nathan paid David a visit and told him a parable about two men.  One was very wealthy, and he owned an abundance of livestock.  The other was dirt poor, and he had only one little lamb that was really more of a family pet than livestock.  He would feed her from the table, let her sleep on the corner of the bed, and talk to her like she could understand what he was saying.  One day, the rich man had a guest staying overnight at his house, and, instead of killing one of his own animals, he slaughtered the poor man's pet lamb and served it for dinner.

David, who happened to be a shepherd in a past life, became furious that someone would so such a horrible thing.  He said, "That man deserves to die!"

Nathan replied, "You are that man."³

A younger David, who professed through his poetry his unwavering devotion to God and his passionate desire to follow in God's ways, might have heard Nathan's story and said, "That will never be me!"

I will bless the Lord at all times;

his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul makes its boast in the Lord;

let the humble hear and be glad.

O magnify the Lord with me,

and let us exalt his name together.

Come, O children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Which of you desires life,

and covets many days to enjoy good?

Keep your tongue from evil,

and your lips from speaking deceit.

Depart from evil, and do good;

seek peace, and pursue it.⁴

At that time he had not imagined that he would someday be at the wrong place at the wrong time, in a moment of weakness with a lot of power to abuse.

I suspect that David, once he was forced to confront the utterly cruel and despicable nature of his crimes, found himself shocked by his own actions.  Acting out of pure selfishness, he took the life of one of his most loyal soldiers and destroyed the life of another innocent person.  Not long afterward, David penned what is now known as the Fifty-first Psalm.  In this song of penitence, he confesses, "Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me."⁵  David is not claiming that he literally emerged from his mother's womb evil - as the doctrine of original sin might suggest - but is rather acknowledging that his own sinfulness runs deep, perhaps deeper than he previously thought.⁶

So often, we think we're incapable of certain actions, but we really have no idea what we might do if our circumstances were radically different, for better or for worse.  When tempted to judge others for their mistakes, some people keep their pride in check by reminding themselves, "There but for the grace of God, go I."  Though I personally prefer not to attribute matters of circumstance or privilege to the grace of God, I do think they make a valid point: we must not confuse a lack of opportunity or a lack of desperation with virtue.  The potential for great evil lurks within each of us, whether or not we want to admit the fact, and we would all do well to be wary of our own darkness.

David, having gained a greater understanding of what was going on within himself, realized that he needed God to transform him from the inside out.  He writes, "You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart."⁷  Our circumstances in life may change, opening up new opportunities to do either good or evil, but what ultimately determines our actions is what is going on in our hearts and minds.  Our sin and brokenness are deeply rooted, so we need healing, cleansing, and transformation at our very deepest levels.

It is currently the beginning of Lent, a season marked by introspection and repentance.  Lent is an invitation to look deep inside ourselves and to reconsider anything and everything about our lives.  It is a good time to ask God to search our hearts and to bring to light the things deep within us that need to be redeemed.  God will give us healing and transformation if we only pray as David prayed, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me."⁸


Notes:

1. A lot of people will say that David committed adultery with Bathsheba, but I don't think we can rightly say that she had any choice in the matter.  There was a reason why God didn't want Israel to have a king: kings always get what what they want from their subjects, or else.  See 1 Samuel 8:10-18.
2. 2 Samuel 11
3. 2 Samuel 12:1-7
4. Psalm 34:1-3,11-14 (NRSV)
5. Psalm 51:5 (NRSV)
6. See the notes on Psalm 51:5 in the Wesley Study Bible.  2009, Abingdon Press.
7. Psalm 51:6 (NRSV)
8. Psalm 51:10 (NRSV)

The photograph of the lamb was taken by Nevit Dilmen, and is used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.