Introspection: Not Normal and Not Ideal

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Not Normal and Not Ideal

I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor.  I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13 (CEB)

Hey, man, I'm alive, I'm takin' each day and night at a time
I'm feelin' like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night

From "Saturday Night" by Bon Jovi

I think that, over the last few months, as I've been getting out the house a bit more, I've been inching my way back toward normal.

Last month I started working at the office again.  Right now, I'm working at the office two days per week, and working from home the other three days.  In my department, different groups come into the office on different days so that people can spread out sufficiently, and we all have to wear face masks or some sort of face covering unless we are alone.  Personally, I've been eating bagged salads for lunch and taking a personal cooler with freezer packs to work so that I don't have to use the shared refrigerator or microwave.

I had grown accustomed to working from home every day, and I was nervous about returning to the office, but I've enjoyed my workdays at the office.  The change of scenery has been nice.  I've made it a point to go on some sort of excursion after a workday at the office.  Usually these excursions involve picking up coffee at a drive-thru and running a quick errand.

My church has not resumed in-person Sunday morning services, so I'm still streaming services from my church on Sunday mornings.¹  My church has held some outdoor midweek prayer services, where we either remained in our cars or brought chairs to sit outside.  Of course, wearing a mask and social distancing were required.  At one of these services, we remembered our baptisms.  We could not dip our hands into the baptismal font, so we had to bring our own water and pour it into our own vessels.  On a couple of Sundays, before or after the regular service was streamed, my church held Communion services in the parking lot.  Because we could not share one loaf and one cup, we had to bring our own elements.

The only Sunday morning church services I've actually attended in person are the services at which I also preached.  These services were at churches small enough to allow social distancing.  Face masks were required, and there was no singing.

I've missed going out on weekends, reading a book over dinner, and recording my thoughts at a coffee shop afterward.  I've also grown tired of picking up dinner at the same places over and over again.  That said, I've started picking up dinner at more of the restaurants I frequented before the pandemic.  A couple of times, I've resorted to picking up dinner, eating in my car while reading a book, and getting coffee to go.  It was an ersatz version of what I used to do, but at least I went out and did something.

Every couple of months, I attend a half-day contemplative prayer retreat.  During lunchtime on these "Desert Days," we discuss what God has been teaching us over the last two months.  For me, these retreats are, among other things, an opportunity to reflect on the last couple of months.  I always spend some time in the morning, before the retreat starts, looking over my devotional journal, so that I have something to say during the lunchtime discussion.  The last three of these retreats have been held over video chat.

Earlier this month, during my most recent retreat, it occurred to me, while I was preparing my lunch, that this pandemic has been a time for me to rethink what is enough.  Right now, nothing is normal, and nothing is ideal.  Holding prayer retreats and small group meetings over video chat programs is not ideal, but it is better than not meeting at all.  Having Communion services in the church parking lot to which we have to bring our own elements is not ideal, but it is better than not receiving Holy Communion.  Having to wear masks in public places is not ideal, but it allows us to go out and about while lessening the likelihood of spreading the virus.

What's ideal isn't really necessary for me, and, right now, what's better than nothing is enough.

Looking back, I'm starting to think that practicing gratitude over the last few years has prepared me for this pandemic.  Gratitude can make a world of difference in a person's life.  It won't change the bad things, but it will help a person to appreciate the good things.  Life is not as I would like it to be right now, and I look forward to the day when life can return to normal.  That said, I still have plenty of reasons to be grateful, and I have enough.


Notes:

1. Services at Travelers Rest United Methodist Church are streamed on Sunday mornings at ten o'clock on the church's Facebook page, and they can also be viewed afterward on the church's YouTube page.

The photograph featured in this introspection was taken by me at Legacy Park in Greenville, South Carolina from inside my car one day while I was drinking my coffee after work.

Lenten Perspective: The Wilderness and the River

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

The Wilderness and the River

The Lord is my shepherd.

I lack nothing.

Psalm 23:1 (CEB)

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough

From "Enough" by Chris Tomlin

Today is the first Sunday in the season of Lent.  During this roughly forty-day period from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, Christians around the world remember that Jesus once spent forty days in the wilderness, fasting and facing temptation.¹  We figuratively follow Him into the wilderness, through self-denial, introspection, and penitence.

In two of the Gospels, we read that, as Jesus grew hungry in the wilderness, He began to hear the voice of the tempter.  The tempter called His attention to a stone and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become a loaf of bread."  Quoting the Book of Deuteronomy, Jesus replied, "It is written, 'One does not live by bread alone.'"²

The tempter then somehow showed Jesus all of the kingdoms of the world in an instant and said to Him, "To you I will give their glory and all this authority...  If you, then, will worship me, it will all be yours."  Jesus replied, again quoting Deuteronomy, "It is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.'"³

The tempter then whisked Jesus off to the roof of the temple in Jerusalem and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here."  Quoting a Psalm, he continued, "For it is written, 'He will command his angels concerning you, to protect you,' and 'On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.'"⁴  Jesus replied with yet another quote from Deuteronomy, saying, "It is said, 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"⁵  At this point, the tempter decided to leave Jesus alone for the time being.

When preaching on the story of Jesus' facing temptation in the wilderness, pastors are quick to point out that Jesus countered each temptation with Scripture.  Many of us learned Scripture as children, yet, truth be told, our knowledge of Scripture is not always what guides our decisions.  The story of Jesus' temptation shows us that even the devil himself knows Scripture, yet it apparently hasn't made much of a difference for him.  The truth is that, despite our knowledge of Scripture, we struggle with temptation throughout our lives.  I believe that knowledge of Scripture is beneficial, but I think that maybe something else helped Jesus to withstand temptation.

I think that maybe Jesus realized that He did not need any of the things the tempter offered Him.

The temptations Jesus faced in the wilderness are universal.  According to Henri Nouwen, there are three lies we tend to believe about our identity: I am what I do, I am what I have, and I am what people say about me.  Each of these lies is connected to a temptation Jesus faced.⁶

The first temptation Jesus faced was to define Himself by what He did.  He could have established His identity as the one who provided for Himself and for others by miraculously producing bread.  The second temptation Jesus faced was to define Himself by what He had.  He could have amassed wealth, power, and glory for Himself by following Satan and conquering the world.  The third temptation Jesus faced was to define Himself by what people said about Him.  If He had jumped off the Temple and allowed angels to catch Him, the people who witnessed the spectacle would have no doubt that He was indeed sent by God.

Before Jesus forayed into the wilderness, He stopped at the river.

One day, while people were being baptized in the Jordan River as a symbol of their penitence, Jesus went to the river to be baptized as well.  After He emerged from the water, He stopped to pray, and, as He prayed, the heavens opened.  The Holy Spirit descended and, taking the form of a dove, landed on Jesus.  A voice from heaven then said, "You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased."⁷

I believe that, along with a knowledge of Scripture, Jesus took with Him into the wilderness what He received at the river, namely the power of the Spirit and the approval of the Father.  He did not need anything the tempter offered Him because He knew who He was.  He did not need to define Himself by what He did, what He had, or what others said about Him because he already knew that He was the beloved Son of God, with whom God was well pleased.  He knew that God claimed Him, loved Him, and delighted in Him, and that was enough for Him.

A knowledge of Scripture is an important and powerful tool, but we need to know who we are in God.  We need to know that each of us is a child of God, whom God loves, with whom God is well pleased.  We need to understand that we are enough.

I know that it can be difficult to say that God is well pleased with us or that we are enough, especially when we consider our faults and failures.  At the same time, I think that what causes us to go wrong is a failure to believe that, in God, we are enough and we have enough.

A story at the beginning of the Bible tells us that the first humans tended a garden planted by God.  We read that they were permitted to eat anything produced by the garden with the exception of the fruit of a single tree, specifically the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  One day, the tempter appeared to the humans and told them that, if they ate the fruit of this tree, the knowledge they would receive would make them like God.  The humans gave into temptation, ate the fruit they were forbidden to eat, and faced great consequences for their transgression.⁸

The first humans gave into temptation because they did not believe that they had enough or that they were enough.  They were allowed to eat anything produced by the garden with the exception of the fruit of one tree, but what they had wasn't enough for them.  They had to have the one thing they were forbidden to have.  They had been created in the image of God and made the caretakers of what God created,⁹ but what they were wasn't enough.  They had to become even more like God.

On this first Sunday in Lent, I encourage you, the reader, to spend some time at the river before you foray into the wilderness.  In other words, consider spending some time at the beginning of your day contemplating who you are in God.  Know that you are a child of God whom God loves and with whom God is well pleased.  Know that God claims you, loves you, and delights in you.  Then take this knowledge with you as you go about your day.

The wilderness is where we have the opportunity to learn that God is enough for us, and the river is where we have the opportunity to learn that we are enough for God.  Before you journey into the wilderness that is your day-to-day life, consider spending some time wading in the river of God's love.


Notes:

1. Much of this perspective is based on Luke 4:1-13.  Quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version.
2. Deuteronomy 8:3
3. Deuteronomy 6:13
4. Psalm 91:11-12
5. Deuteronomy 6:16
6. Henri Nouwen.  "Being the Beloved."
7. Luke 3:21-22 (NRSV)
8. Genesis 2:4b-3:24
9. Genesis 1:26-28

Christ in the Wilderness was painted by Ivan Kramskoi in 1872.