Introspection: Not Normal and Not Ideal

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Not Normal and Not Ideal

I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor.  I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13 (CEB)

Hey, man, I'm alive, I'm takin' each day and night at a time
I'm feelin' like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night

From "Saturday Night" by Bon Jovi

I think that, over the last few months, as I've been getting out the house a bit more, I've been inching my way back toward normal.

Last month I started working at the office again.  Right now, I'm working at the office two days per week, and working from home the other three days.  In my department, different groups come into the office on different days so that people can spread out sufficiently, and we all have to wear face masks or some sort of face covering unless we are alone.  Personally, I've been eating bagged salads for lunch and taking a personal cooler with freezer packs to work so that I don't have to use the shared refrigerator or microwave.

I had grown accustomed to working from home every day, and I was nervous about returning to the office, but I've enjoyed my workdays at the office.  The change of scenery has been nice.  I've made it a point to go on some sort of excursion after a workday at the office.  Usually these excursions involve picking up coffee at a drive-thru and running a quick errand.

My church has not resumed in-person Sunday morning services, so I'm still streaming services from my church on Sunday mornings.¹  My church has held some outdoor midweek prayer services, where we either remained in our cars or brought chairs to sit outside.  Of course, wearing a mask and social distancing were required.  At one of these services, we remembered our baptisms.  We could not dip our hands into the baptismal font, so we had to bring our own water and pour it into our own vessels.  On a couple of Sundays, before or after the regular service was streamed, my church held Communion services in the parking lot.  Because we could not share one loaf and one cup, we had to bring our own elements.

The only Sunday morning church services I've actually attended in person are the services at which I also preached.  These services were at churches small enough to allow social distancing.  Face masks were required, and there was no singing.

I've missed going out on weekends, reading a book over dinner, and recording my thoughts at a coffee shop afterward.  I've also grown tired of picking up dinner at the same places over and over again.  That said, I've started picking up dinner at more of the restaurants I frequented before the pandemic.  A couple of times, I've resorted to picking up dinner, eating in my car while reading a book, and getting coffee to go.  It was an ersatz version of what I used to do, but at least I went out and did something.

Every couple of months, I attend a half-day contemplative prayer retreat.  During lunchtime on these "Desert Days," we discuss what God has been teaching us over the last two months.  For me, these retreats are, among other things, an opportunity to reflect on the last couple of months.  I always spend some time in the morning, before the retreat starts, looking over my devotional journal, so that I have something to say during the lunchtime discussion.  The last three of these retreats have been held over video chat.

Earlier this month, during my most recent retreat, it occurred to me, while I was preparing my lunch, that this pandemic has been a time for me to rethink what is enough.  Right now, nothing is normal, and nothing is ideal.  Holding prayer retreats and small group meetings over video chat programs is not ideal, but it is better than not meeting at all.  Having Communion services in the church parking lot to which we have to bring our own elements is not ideal, but it is better than not receiving Holy Communion.  Having to wear masks in public places is not ideal, but it allows us to go out and about while lessening the likelihood of spreading the virus.

What's ideal isn't really necessary for me, and, right now, what's better than nothing is enough.

Looking back, I'm starting to think that practicing gratitude over the last few years has prepared me for this pandemic.  Gratitude can make a world of difference in a person's life.  It won't change the bad things, but it will help a person to appreciate the good things.  Life is not as I would like it to be right now, and I look forward to the day when life can return to normal.  That said, I still have plenty of reasons to be grateful, and I have enough.


Notes:

1. Services at Travelers Rest United Methodist Church are streamed on Sunday mornings at ten o'clock on the church's Facebook page, and they can also be viewed afterward on the church's YouTube page.

The photograph featured in this introspection was taken by me at Legacy Park in Greenville, South Carolina from inside my car one day while I was drinking my coffee after work.