Introspection: Spiritual Detox

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Spiritual Detox

Scripture:

And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.”

Revelation 21:5a

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what I've become

From "Undo" by Rush of Fools

Since our society is obsessed with celebrity gossip, it is not uncommon to hear about a movie star, a rock star, or a sports star going into rehab, whether it be for a drug addiction, an alcohol addiction, or even a sex addiction. Of course, this phenomenon is not limited to the rich and famous. People from all walks of life develop habits and patterns of behavior that are harmful.

The reasons for these destructive habits are as diverse as the people that they affect. Perhaps the addiction is the result of succumbing to peer-pressure, or maybe it is from an attempt to escape from a painful reality. People try to convince themselves and others that they have everything under control, but the truth is that their addictions are controlling them. The lucky ones eventually have a moment of clarity and realize that they are on the road to ruin. They realize that, if something does not change, they will end up destroying themselves. At the same time they realize that they cannot help themselves because they are in over their heads, so they decide to get professional help and check into rehab.

Last month, I was, once again, dreading my least favorite holiday. What is meant to be a day set aside for celebrating love has become for me a bitter reminder of my unchanging singleness. While others are eating sweets from boxes shaped like hearts, I find myself eating sour grapes.

One night, after the dreaded day had passed, I was listening to a very sad song about a relationship that went wrong. When I listened to it a second time, a particular line stuck out at me. The line mentioned the "death of hope." Then, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like moment of clarity.

What have I been doing to myself?!

Have I killed hope in my life with my bitterness and my negativity? Once upon a time I had the hope that I would one day fall in love and get married. Over time, I came to believe that I am, for some reason, unlovable. What was once my dream now seems like nothing but a fairy tale.

Just as a drug addict puts toxic substances into his or her body, I have been putting toxic substances into my soul. My bitterness over the past and my pessimism toward the present and the future have impaired, not only my hopes for finding a mate, but my entire outlook on life. I expect all people to be the same as those who rejected me a long time ago. I constantly find myself rehearsing confrontations with others. I keep trying to earn the love and affection of peers who already care about me. I have trouble believing that there is anything good or genuine about my own character.

If you attend a church that follows a liturgical calendar, you know that we are currently in the season of Lent. Lent is a time of reflection and preparation that precedes Easter. Many people make it a habit to give up something for the duration of this season. A friend of mine, for example, has given up caffeine. Within the first week he mentioned that he felt like he was going through detox. I find his words strangely appropriate. While my friend is using his abstinence from caffeine as a practice in spiritual discipline, many use the season of Lent as a time to give up things that are hurting them spiritually. For them, Lent is a time for spiritual detox.

Perhaps what I need the most this season is to check my soul into rehab. I need this time of spiritual detox to flush the poisonous bitterness and negativity out of my system.

Going through rehab helps people to be freed from their addictions so that they can move forward in their lives. Some, even though they have overcome their addictions, have done lasting damage to their bodies. They have turned a corner in their lives, but they must bear the scars of their addictions for a long time, perhaps even for the rest of their lives. As my self-pity turned to numbness, I began to wonder if the same was true for me. Could the damage that I have done to my heart be undone?

If you read my articles regularly, you may have noticed that lately I have been publishing sections of Sunday School lessons that I have delivered at my church. I have been posting these because my obligations as a Sunday School teacher required me to prepare lessons when I would normally write new articles.

Three weeks ago, I posted part of a lesson that dealt with rediscovering childlikeness despite the toll that life takes on us. The next day, I was looking over the article, and I realized that it contained the answer I needed. It's easy to preach, and it's easy to teach, but what I find truly difficult is to live according to what I preach and teach. I needed a reminder that despite the baggage I carry, Christ has washed away my failures so that I can put the past behind me. I had forgotten that Christ makes all things new. No matter what damage I may have done to myself over the years, Christ is powerful enough to heal my soul.

For the remainder for this season of Lent, I will work to give up my negativity, and I will open up my heart to Christ's healing so that I can see life with clear eyes.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments. Also, if you are seeking healing in your own life and would like someone to pray for you, please post your request as a comment.