Introspection: Who's Judging Whom?

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.


Who's Judging Whom?

Scripture:

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)

To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

From "Undo" by Rush of Fools

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room, hundreds of miles away from home. For the past few days, I have been attending a conference related to my job. This is the first time I have ever needed to travel for more than a day because of work. At my job interview I was made aware that I would be required to attend this conference. In response I said that I was not very keen on traveling but that I would try to be flexible. At first, I was not very enthusiastic about going on this trip, but I have found that I have not hated it. I have enjoyed a change of scenery and I have even enjoyed the time I have spent with my coworkers.

My initial attitude toward traveling came from bitterness toward my previous job. When I worked for a casino vendor, I avoided travel like a deadly virus. I hated my job so much that the only thing that got me through the day sometimes was knowing that I would be going home at 5:00 PM. My life at home was my escape from my life at work, so traveling would have meant that there was no escape for me. Traveling would have also meant being marooned with people I did not want to be stuck with. My coworkers would likely go out for dinner after work, but I wouldn't want to be around some of them one second longer than absolutely necessary.

So why the change in my attitude? Why do I enjoy at my new job what I would have detested at my old one? Some of my negative attitude toward my old job came from my own disapproval of my working in the gambling industry. I did not enjoy my job, and I did not want to enjoy my job. I had a negative attitude toward my coworkers because, unfortunately, I am a judgmental person.

In my eyes, some of my former coworkers, particularly the ones who liked their jobs, were complete scum. They worked in the gambling industry, an industry that exploits the weaknesses and addictions of others for money. To me, they were no different from drug dealers, pimps, and pornographers. I viewed them as people who would do anything for money, people who had sold their souls to the almighty dollar.

I know that I dwell on my old job too much, but cannot help making observations about how much things are different for me now. I have also found my old job to be one of the greatest sources of irony in my entire life. In another article, I wrote that I, in my own mind, condemned some of my coworkers for being obsessed with a harmful, pointless job when, in my own sick, twisted way, I obsessed over my job by constantly worrying about it.

What else is ironic is the fact that, by my own definition, I too was scum because I worked in the gambling industry as well. I believe that I was aware of this ever since I accepted that job. I always hated telling others what I did because I was afraid of being judged. I am a member of the United Methodist Church, which always takes a major stand against gambling. I was always concerned about what my peers and the members of my church would think about me.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus instructs us not to judge others, because we will be judged the same way we judge other people. I cannot read minds. Maybe some of my friends judged me, but I think I beat most of them to it. I think Jesus' words were, in my case, a self-fulfilling prophecy. I judged myself for others: I decided what they thought of me. I cannot help but wonder if perhaps a person's fear of being judged is directly related to how judgmental the person is. If one judges others, then should he not expect others to judge him as well?

There is a story in the Bible in which people are getting ready to kill a woman who was caught cheating on her husband. Jesus said that whoever was sinless should throw the first stone at her. The only person qualified to throw the stone was Jesus, but, instead, He forgave her.¹ Jesus, who was sinless, had every right to judge the people He came into contact with but, instead, showed them compassion and forgiveness. This is the same person who asked God, His Father, to forgive those who were executing Him.²

It is so good that God is not like us. We see in others what we decide to see, but God sees everything, even the darkest corners of all our hearts. He sees our good qualities and our shortcomings. He sees our sins, but He also sees our potential. He sees hurting people who need a Savior. He sees His own beloved children.

As Easter approaches let us all remember what Christ did for us nearly two thousand years ago. Let us remember that He looked past our shortcomings to the people we were meant to be and that He died to wash those shortcomings away. And I pray that I will stop judging others and start seeing others as people Christ loved enough to die for.


Notes:
1 - John 8:2-11
2 - Luke 23:34


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