Perspective: More than Chemicals

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

More than Chemicals

Scripture:

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Matthew 22:39

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from Earth into Eternity

From "Hosanna" by Brooke Frasier

A friend of mine once told me that there are certain brain chemicals that can cause people to feel as though they are in love. I decided to do some research on this and learned a great deal. One of these chemicals is oxytocin which is affectionately known as the "cuddle hormone." This chemical is commonly associated with bonding between humans.¹ Another of these love chemicals is dopamine, which increases heart rate.² This explains why your heart races when you are with the one you love. Another is serotonin, which causes symptoms similar to those of obsessive compulsive disorder. This explains why your special someone is constantly on your mind when you are in love. Other chemicals associated with falling in love are, vasopressin, norepinepherine, nerve growth factor, and, of course, the sex hormones estrogen and testosterone.³

My friend went on to tell me that the chemicals that make people feel that they are in love tend to lose their effect after about seven years. This explains the phenomenon known as the "seven year itch," the tendency to leave or betray one's lover after a number of years together.

I have heard people say that love is a feeling. While I understand that I am young and have less life experience than others, I believe with every fiber of my being that love is not a feeling. It is true that we tend to have a "warm, fuzzy feeling" about a significant other, friends, family, and other loved ones, but this feeling itself is not love. After all, it is completely possible to feel upset or angry with the people in our lives and still love them. While it is true that love is something that can be felt, love is something more than feelings, something more than chemicals.

The Bible tells us a lot about love, but the Bible does not seem to contain a clear-cut definition of love. Perhaps love is not something that can truly be defined in mortal language. Perhaps, at most, love can only be described. St. Paul, in his first letter to the church in Corinth, describes love in great detail in what is often called the "Love Chapter."⁴ According to Paul, love is patient, kind, hopeful, and enduring. Love is not envious, arrogant, resentful, or selfish. Love wants what is good and what is true.⁵ St. John links love to the very nature of God, saying that God is love. To know God is to love, and to love is to know God.⁶

When asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus replies that the greatest is, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." Jesus goes on to say that the second greatest is, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."⁷

Sci-fi author Robert A. Heinlein said, "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." I think that this statement is much like Christ's second commandment. When you truly love another person, that person's well-being is just as important to you as your own well-being. When you love a person, that person's hopes and dreams are just as important to you as your own hopes and dreams. On that note, I think that loving God means the same thing. A person who truly loves God will want his or her will to be the same as God's will, just as Christ prayed, "Not what I want but what You want."⁸

I have noticed something very interesting about the word "passion." Often we associate passion with enthusiasm or fervor. For example, we think of someone being passionate about a cause, meaning that that the person is driven by that cause. We also think about loving someone passionately. The original meaning of the word "passion" was quite different. The word "passion" is derived from the Latin word "passio," which means "suffering."⁹ People often call the week leading up to Christ's crucifixion, "Passion Week." Christ loved humanity passionately, and His desire for our redemption drove Him to endure suffering on the cross for our sake.

Love is not a "warm, fuzzy feeling." Love can actually be quite painful at times. Love can mean suffering for someone else, crying for someone else, or even telling a person goodbye though you desire to be with that person.

St. Paul notes in his description of love that life is completely meaningless without love. Anything that is said without love is nothing but noise. No matter what talents you have to offer the world, if you do not have love, you offer nothing. Whatever you do is all for naught, if it is not done out of love.¹⁰

As you seek love in your life, remember that love is not just a feeling. Remember that truly loving someone is wanting what is best for him or her as much as you want what is best for yourself. Remember that love gives our lives meaning and that love brings out the best in us. Remember that loving God and loving each other is what we are meant for. Remember that God is love.


Notes:
1 - Wikipedia: Oxytocin
2 - Wikipedia: Dopamine
3 - Wikipedia: Chemical basis for love
4 - 1 Corinthians 13
5 - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
6 - 1 John 4:7-8
7 - Matthew 22:34-40
8 - Matthew 26:39
9 - Wiktionary: passion
10 - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.