Introspection: Do I Want to Get Well?

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Do I Want to Get Well?

A certain man was there who had been sick for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there, knowing that he had already been there a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

John 5:5-6 (CEB)

We throw tantrums like parties

We're not happy 'til everyone knows we're sick

And that's just how we like it

We've hurt bad enough, right, we've earned it

From "Get Well" by Icon for Hire

Near one of the northern entrances to Jerusalem, the Sheep Gate, was a pool of water called the Pool of Bethesda.  In Jesus' day, it was believed that, on certain occasions, an angel would descend from Heaven and agitate the water in this pool.  The first person to get into the pool at that time would be miraculously healed of whatever ailments he or she had.  People who were sick or disabled would lie on the covered porches surrounding this pool, waiting for the water to be stirred up by the angel.¹

At the Pool of Bethesda, there was a man who had spent the last thirty-eight years of his life waiting for his chance to be healed, but, unfortunately, someone else has always made it into the water first.  One day, while passing by the pool, Jesus approached this man and asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

The man replied, "Sir, I don't have anyone who can put me in the water when it is stirred up.  When I'm trying to get to it, someone else has gotten in ahead of me."

Jesus said to the man, "Get up!  Pick up your mat and walk."  The man then did exactly what Jesus told him to do.²

That day happened to be the Sabbath day which is, according to one of the Ten Commandments, a day that is set aside for the sole purpose of rest.  All forms of work, including acts of healing, were forbidden on the Sabbath,³ so Jesus would soon find Himself in hot water with the religious leaders for healing the man.⁴  To be honest, I have my doubts that any kind of supernatural healing actually happened on that day.  Though it is obvious that the man experienced healing of some kind, I wonder if Jesus simply told him what he needed to hear.

Consider again what happened.  Jesus approaches the man and asks him if he wants to get well.  The man does not say "yes" or "no": he just complains that somebody else always gets a miraculous healing instead of him because nobody will help him into the water.  He basically says, "I just can't catch a break!"  Jesus then tells the man to get up, pick up his mat, and walk.  Perhaps Jesus is saying, "You don't need to catch a break.  Just get up and recover!"  Perhaps the man actually needed some physical therapy more than he needed a miracle.  Perhaps, instead of actively working to recover from his malady, he simply lay around pitying himself because of all the ways the odds were seemingly stacked against him in life.

I think that the question Jesus asks the man, "Do you want to get well?" might be one of the most probing and convicting questions Jesus asks in all of the Gospels.  When I read this story a few weeks ago and asked myself this very question, it totally wrecked me.  If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know that I am not exactly happy with how my life has turned out.  Though I am quick to complain about my adult life, I tend to be slow to actually take any steps to make it better.

"Do I want to get well?"  At first, the question seems to be a no-brainer.  We might think to ourselves, "Of course, I want to get well!  What a ridiculous question!  Why would anyone not want to get well?"  At the same time, if we're honest, we must admit that it is a lot easier to sit around, lamenting our bad luck, making excuses, assigning blame, envying other people, cursing our inadequacies, numbing our pain, retreating into our fantasies, and feeling sorry for ourselves than to actually do what is necessary to make progress.  It's very easy to point the finger at someone else in this regard - I'm sure we can all think of someone who claims that he or she wants to do better but seems to be doing very little about it - but this is a question we all need to ask ourselves.

If we're quick to say that we do indeed want to do better, then perhaps we need to ask ourselves if there could be any reason we might not want to do better.  Perhaps we need to ask ourselves if there is any reason we are not taking the steps to make progress.  I think that, in my case, it all comes down to fear: fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of difficulty, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of conflict, fear of humiliation, fear of unwanted attention, and maybe even fear of success.  Often there is safety in the familiar, even if what's familiar sucks.

In life, we face real struggles, real hardships, real disappointments, and real traumas.  Believe me when I say that I do not want to diminish any of these things for anybody.  These things may be one's own fault, or they may be the fault of someone else, but, regardless of who is to blame, it is ultimately one's own responsibility to take the steps necessary to move forward in life.  This might mean making some serious changes in life.  It might mean seeking counseling.  It might mean trying again where one has failed.  In my case, it might mean facing my fears.  If we fail to take such steps, we might someday find ourselves looking back on our lives, realizing that we've wasted the last thirty-eight years.

So often we ask God to help us to do better, but Christ asks us if we actually want to do better.  May we be honest with ourselves regarding our own lots in life, and may we find the courage to take the next step necessary to better our lives and to better ourselves.


Notes:

1. This particular detail, read in John 5:4, is not found in certain ancient manuscripts of John's Gospel, leading some scholars to believe that it might have been a later addition.  Depending on the version of the Bible you happen to be reading, you might read this part with the rest of the passage or in a footnote.
2. John 5:1-9 (CEB)
3. Exodus 20:8-11
4. John 5:10-18

The photograph of the replica of the Jerusalem pools was taken by Deror Avi.  The photographer, who holds the copyright to this image, is in no way affiliated with this blog.