Introspection: Who's Judging Whom?

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.


Who's Judging Whom?

Scripture:

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)

To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

From "Undo" by Rush of Fools

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room, hundreds of miles away from home. For the past few days, I have been attending a conference related to my job. This is the first time I have ever needed to travel for more than a day because of work. At my job interview I was made aware that I would be required to attend this conference. In response I said that I was not very keen on traveling but that I would try to be flexible. At first, I was not very enthusiastic about going on this trip, but I have found that I have not hated it. I have enjoyed a change of scenery and I have even enjoyed the time I have spent with my coworkers.

My initial attitude toward traveling came from bitterness toward my previous job. When I worked for a casino vendor, I avoided travel like a deadly virus. I hated my job so much that the only thing that got me through the day sometimes was knowing that I would be going home at 5:00 PM. My life at home was my escape from my life at work, so traveling would have meant that there was no escape for me. Traveling would have also meant being marooned with people I did not want to be stuck with. My coworkers would likely go out for dinner after work, but I wouldn't want to be around some of them one second longer than absolutely necessary.

So why the change in my attitude? Why do I enjoy at my new job what I would have detested at my old one? Some of my negative attitude toward my old job came from my own disapproval of my working in the gambling industry. I did not enjoy my job, and I did not want to enjoy my job. I had a negative attitude toward my coworkers because, unfortunately, I am a judgmental person.

In my eyes, some of my former coworkers, particularly the ones who liked their jobs, were complete scum. They worked in the gambling industry, an industry that exploits the weaknesses and addictions of others for money. To me, they were no different from drug dealers, pimps, and pornographers. I viewed them as people who would do anything for money, people who had sold their souls to the almighty dollar.

I know that I dwell on my old job too much, but cannot help making observations about how much things are different for me now. I have also found my old job to be one of the greatest sources of irony in my entire life. In another article, I wrote that I, in my own mind, condemned some of my coworkers for being obsessed with a harmful, pointless job when, in my own sick, twisted way, I obsessed over my job by constantly worrying about it.

What else is ironic is the fact that, by my own definition, I too was scum because I worked in the gambling industry as well. I believe that I was aware of this ever since I accepted that job. I always hated telling others what I did because I was afraid of being judged. I am a member of the United Methodist Church, which always takes a major stand against gambling. I was always concerned about what my peers and the members of my church would think about me.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus instructs us not to judge others, because we will be judged the same way we judge other people. I cannot read minds. Maybe some of my friends judged me, but I think I beat most of them to it. I think Jesus' words were, in my case, a self-fulfilling prophecy. I judged myself for others: I decided what they thought of me. I cannot help but wonder if perhaps a person's fear of being judged is directly related to how judgmental the person is. If one judges others, then should he not expect others to judge him as well?

There is a story in the Bible in which people are getting ready to kill a woman who was caught cheating on her husband. Jesus said that whoever was sinless should throw the first stone at her. The only person qualified to throw the stone was Jesus, but, instead, He forgave her.¹ Jesus, who was sinless, had every right to judge the people He came into contact with but, instead, showed them compassion and forgiveness. This is the same person who asked God, His Father, to forgive those who were executing Him.²

It is so good that God is not like us. We see in others what we decide to see, but God sees everything, even the darkest corners of all our hearts. He sees our good qualities and our shortcomings. He sees our sins, but He also sees our potential. He sees hurting people who need a Savior. He sees His own beloved children.

As Easter approaches let us all remember what Christ did for us nearly two thousand years ago. Let us remember that He looked past our shortcomings to the people we were meant to be and that He died to wash those shortcomings away. And I pray that I will stop judging others and start seeing others as people Christ loved enough to die for.


Notes:
1 - John 8:2-11
2 - Luke 23:34


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.

Introspection: Spiritual Detox

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Spiritual Detox

Scripture:

And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.”

Revelation 21:5a

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what I've become

From "Undo" by Rush of Fools

Since our society is obsessed with celebrity gossip, it is not uncommon to hear about a movie star, a rock star, or a sports star going into rehab, whether it be for a drug addiction, an alcohol addiction, or even a sex addiction. Of course, this phenomenon is not limited to the rich and famous. People from all walks of life develop habits and patterns of behavior that are harmful.

The reasons for these destructive habits are as diverse as the people that they affect. Perhaps the addiction is the result of succumbing to peer-pressure, or maybe it is from an attempt to escape from a painful reality. People try to convince themselves and others that they have everything under control, but the truth is that their addictions are controlling them. The lucky ones eventually have a moment of clarity and realize that they are on the road to ruin. They realize that, if something does not change, they will end up destroying themselves. At the same time they realize that they cannot help themselves because they are in over their heads, so they decide to get professional help and check into rehab.

Last month, I was, once again, dreading my least favorite holiday. What is meant to be a day set aside for celebrating love has become for me a bitter reminder of my unchanging singleness. While others are eating sweets from boxes shaped like hearts, I find myself eating sour grapes.

One night, after the dreaded day had passed, I was listening to a very sad song about a relationship that went wrong. When I listened to it a second time, a particular line stuck out at me. The line mentioned the "death of hope." Then, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like moment of clarity.

What have I been doing to myself?!

Have I killed hope in my life with my bitterness and my negativity? Once upon a time I had the hope that I would one day fall in love and get married. Over time, I came to believe that I am, for some reason, unlovable. What was once my dream now seems like nothing but a fairy tale.

Just as a drug addict puts toxic substances into his or her body, I have been putting toxic substances into my soul. My bitterness over the past and my pessimism toward the present and the future have impaired, not only my hopes for finding a mate, but my entire outlook on life. I expect all people to be the same as those who rejected me a long time ago. I constantly find myself rehearsing confrontations with others. I keep trying to earn the love and affection of peers who already care about me. I have trouble believing that there is anything good or genuine about my own character.

If you attend a church that follows a liturgical calendar, you know that we are currently in the season of Lent. Lent is a time of reflection and preparation that precedes Easter. Many people make it a habit to give up something for the duration of this season. A friend of mine, for example, has given up caffeine. Within the first week he mentioned that he felt like he was going through detox. I find his words strangely appropriate. While my friend is using his abstinence from caffeine as a practice in spiritual discipline, many use the season of Lent as a time to give up things that are hurting them spiritually. For them, Lent is a time for spiritual detox.

Perhaps what I need the most this season is to check my soul into rehab. I need this time of spiritual detox to flush the poisonous bitterness and negativity out of my system.

Going through rehab helps people to be freed from their addictions so that they can move forward in their lives. Some, even though they have overcome their addictions, have done lasting damage to their bodies. They have turned a corner in their lives, but they must bear the scars of their addictions for a long time, perhaps even for the rest of their lives. As my self-pity turned to numbness, I began to wonder if the same was true for me. Could the damage that I have done to my heart be undone?

If you read my articles regularly, you may have noticed that lately I have been publishing sections of Sunday School lessons that I have delivered at my church. I have been posting these because my obligations as a Sunday School teacher required me to prepare lessons when I would normally write new articles.

Three weeks ago, I posted part of a lesson that dealt with rediscovering childlikeness despite the toll that life takes on us. The next day, I was looking over the article, and I realized that it contained the answer I needed. It's easy to preach, and it's easy to teach, but what I find truly difficult is to live according to what I preach and teach. I needed a reminder that despite the baggage I carry, Christ has washed away my failures so that I can put the past behind me. I had forgotten that Christ makes all things new. No matter what damage I may have done to myself over the years, Christ is powerful enough to heal my soul.

For the remainder for this season of Lent, I will work to give up my negativity, and I will open up my heart to Christ's healing so that I can see life with clear eyes.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments. Also, if you are seeking healing in your own life and would like someone to pray for you, please post your request as a comment.

Perspective: A "Talent" is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Originally part of a Sunday School lesson delivered at Bethel United Methodist Church on February 28, 2010.¹
I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

A "Talent" is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Scripture:

His master replied, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

Matthew 25:21 (NIV)

It's your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It's an open door
It's your life

From "It's Your Life" by Francesca Battistelli

Jesus once told a parable about a rich man who goes out of town and entrusts some of his money to each of three servants. To one, he gives the amount of five talents; to another, two talents; and to another, only one talent. The first two servants invest the money they are given and each receive a 100% return on their investment. The third servant, on the other hand, becomes nervous and buries what is given to him. To put it in modern terms, he hides it all under his mattress.

When the rich man returns, he is very pleased with the two servants who invested the money they were given, and he entrusts them with even more responsibility. With the third servant, though, he is quite angry. He takes back the money he entrusted to this servant and gives it to one of the wiser servants. He sends the foolish servant away, and there is, as St. Matthew liked to write, “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”²

Needless to say, this story is not just about managing one's stock portfolio. It is not too hard to figure out what this parable means. The rich man is God; the servants are each of us; and the talents are all the things that God has given us. Maybe you feel like the third servant: you feel as though God has given everyone around you five talents and that He has only given you one measly talent. In Jesus' time, a talent was the total amount of money a laborer would accumulate over fifteen years. Though the third servant was given significantly less than the others, he was still given a lot.³ That is fifteen years' salary – fifteen years of one's labor – fifteen years of one's life.

God has given each of us lives and gifts. Christ's parable shows us that these are precious things that are not meant to be wasted but put to use. The parable tells us that the two servants who invested their talents were welcomed into the joy of their master. Our lives are only what we make of them, and what joy it is to live out God's purpose for our lives! The parable also tells us what happens if we don't use our gifts. As the old saying goes, “Use it, or lose it!”⁴ Don't bury the gifts God has given you: put them to good use.

So what kind of gifts are we given, and how do we use them? St. Paul had much insight into the types of gifts that we are given by the Holy Spirit. In the first letter to the Corinthians, he lists a number of them:
To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.⁵

Some of these gifts may seem somewhat out of reach. Some of them may even seem downright rare. Paul, in his letter to the Galatians, lists a group of more basic gifts of the Holy Spirit which he calls "the Fruit of the Spirit." These gifts are "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."⁶ These nine gifts are the natural outgrowth of the Spirit of God working in our lives.

God gives us all of these gifts so that we can, in turn, give them to the world. This is how we give back to God. Christ states that whatever we do "to one the least of these" we have done for Him.⁷ God wants us to use the gifts He has given us to share His love with the world. As the "Parable of the Talents" shows us, if we use our gifts faithfully, he will entrust us with even more gifts to give.

St. Paul, in the aforementioned first letter to the Corinthians, states that there is one spiritual gift, the absence of which renders all other spiritual gifts meaningless. This gift is love. Paul writes:
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.⁸
If you have but one "talent" to give the world, let it be love.

As we reflect on our gifts and our purpose, let us ask God for the wisdom to identify our "talents," for the resolve to put these "talents" to use, and for the love to freely give of ourselves to others.


Notes:
1 - The basis of my original Sunday School lesson was:
Simon Peter Iredale. "Anointed by a Woman in Bethany", Adult Bible Studies Winter 2009-10. Cokesbury.
2 - To read the "Parable of the Talents" in its entirety, see Matthew 25:14-30.
3 - Iredale, p. 92 (also pointed out to me by a friend from college)
4 - Iredale, p. 93
5 - I Corinthians 12:8-12
6 - Galatians 5:22-23
7 - Matthew 25:40
8 - I Corinthians 13:1-2

If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.