Introspection: Excess Baggage

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

Excess Baggage

Scripture:

Forgive us for our sins, just as we have forgiven those who sinned against us.

Matthew 6:12 (NCV)

I'm waking up, the world is turning
The sun is shining again
I'm holding on to things I shouldn't
It's time to let them go

From "Brand New Day" by Fireflight

Life is funny sometimes. At the beginning of this year, as I contemplated what I would write, I thought that I should perhaps speak out against some of the evils of society. Just over halfway through the year, I find that I have, instead, been speaking out against the evils in my own heart.

During dinner one evening last week, I made a negative comment about the business for which I used to work. In response, a friend of mine commented on my tendency to hold grudges. He told me that I need to just let my bitterness go. This was not the first time that someone has said something to me about this subject. In fact several people have told me that I need to let go of a number of things, not just my feelings toward my former place of employment, but other hurts that I hold.

The next evening, I was heading out to dinner again, and, as I drove near my former workplace, thoughts laced with bitterness crept into my mind. It was then that I realized that my friend and all the others were right.

Bitterness is something with which I struggle often. In fact, I believe that it is probably my biggest spiritual problem. I often find myself dwelling on things that other people have either said or done that have hurt or offended me. This even includes small comments others have made that I should not have even thought twice about, comments that most likely had no animosity attached, things that people probably forgot the moment they said them. I am even beginning to suspect that many of these offenses and hurts are actually a product of my own imagination.

It has been said, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."¹ I can think of no better definition, because it is exactly what I have been doing to myself. I harbor negative emotions toward others because of what they have done to me or what I imagine they have done to me, but it only serves to bring me down. To most of the people with whom I am angry, I would not dare tell my feelings. When I actually do confront someone about the hurt they inflicted, I have usually let the wound fester so long that I blow up at them, say things I know I should not, and end up widening the rift between the person and myself.

Christ has given us a number of warnings about having an unforgiving spirit. In the Sermon on the Mount, He warns us that if we are unwilling to forgive other people, then God Himself will be unwilling to forgive us.² Christ later tells a story of a servant who owes a king a large sum of money, a sum that he could never hope to pay off. He begs the king for mercy, and the king forgives his debt. Unfortunately the servant does not share the king's forgiving spirit. He finds a fellow servant who owes him a much lesser amount and has him thrown into debtors prison. The king hears what the ungrateful servant has done and has him tortured until his massive debt is paid.³

I am a lot like the ungrateful servant in Jesus' story. I have a debt that I can never hope to pay off, but that debt was canceled by Christ on the cross. That is what makes my unwillingness to forgive truly sad, for I have been forgiven for so many things. So many times I have inflicted wounds on others and have not been made to pay for it. How could a person who has experienced grace and forgiveness so many times be so unforgiving?

If God can see the deepest, darkest corner of every person's heart and be willing to forgive all of humanity's transgressions, how can we not forgive each other? If God, the only truly just judge, can pardon even the most heinous of sins, how can we do any less?

Bitterness separates us from God, as shown in Christ's story, and it puts a rift between us and those toward whom we are bitter. Not only is bitterness something that divides, it is also something that weighs us down. It is excess baggage that makes it hard for us to move forward through life.

An overloaded ship runs the risk of sinking, and, when the danger becomes imminent, the crew has no choice but to jettison its excess cargo into the water. This is what I have decided to do. I am throwing the excess baggage of resentment into the ocean to sink to the bottom. I believe that, by remembering the forgiveness and mercy that has been shown to me, I will be better able to put the hurts of the past behind me.

To all of those against whom I have been holding grudges, if you are reading this, please accept this article as my apology.


Notes:
1 - This quote or one like it has been attributed to a number of people including activist and politician Nelson Mandela, actress Carrie Fisher, and an unnamed person at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
2 - Matthew 6:14-15
3 - Matthew 18:23-35


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.

Introspection: Step Up

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.


Step Up

Scripture:

You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.

You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:13-17

There is none righteous
There is none worthy
There is none Holy but You the King
I will give my life to sing of Your wonder
To shout of Your glory so creation will hear God
We want the world to hear

From "We Want the World to Hear" by Big Daddy Weave

I have heard at least a couple of people at my church expressing hesitation about speaking from the pastor's pulpit, even if they are only reading Scripture, leading songs, or making announcements. One person even lobbied for a separate podium for those reading the Scripture on Sunday mornings. They say that they do not want to speak at the pulpit because they do not feel "qualified" to do so.

Part of me wonders if the hesitation these members feel, in reality, has nothing to do with their feelings of being unqualified but instead stems from feelings of not being worthy. Perhaps, knowing their shortcomings, they feel that God would be unhappy with them being in such a position at their church. I have not said anything to them about this, but if I were to say something, I would tell them is that if God is not unhappy with me for filling in for our pastor or for teaching Sunday School, then they are probably safe reading scripture from the pulpit. Like St. Paul, I sometimes consider myself chief among sinners¹ - at least in comparison to the people I associate with.

If they are indeed experiencing feelings of unworthiness, they are not alone. Sometimes I look at my own life - my behavior and my attitude - and feel as though I am the last person who should be doing the things that I do. I too find myself feeling unworthy, and I know that I have good reason to feel this way. This is why I take so much comfort in knowing that God has used a lot of unworthy people throughout history.² The truth is that God's purposes for us have nothing to do with our worthiness but everything to do with His grace. If we had to be worthy of His grace, then it wouldn't be grace.

So what would make a minister more worthy to speak from a pulpit than anyone else? I think that people tend to treat ministers unfairly in at least two ways. First, I think that there is a tendency to put pastors on a pedestal. People think that just because someone is a pastor, then he or she must be a better person than most people. This is not true: pastors are normal people, meaning that they are far from perfect. They have the same struggles and shortcomings as other people.

Second, I think that there is also a tendency to for people to hold ministers to a higher standard than they hold other people. This is a problem, not because they expect too much from ministers, but because they do not expect the same things from themselves. This is one reason that I decided years ago not to go into the ministry: I did not want to hold myself to such a high standard. Since then, I have realized that, as a Christian, whether I am a minister or a layperson, my purpose is to serve Christ and to represent Him in the world.

Christ, in His Sermon on the Mount, calls us to be like salt and light in the world. Both salt and light are things that make an evident difference in the environment around them. If food has been salted, one can taste the difference. If one turns on a light, the added illumination makes a major difference to the room's appearance. In the same way, we are called, not to blend into our environment, but to be an evident difference in the world around us.

As I have written before, we are not all called to be ministers in the sense that we lead churches, but we are all called to be in ministry to the world, doing Christ's work, being Christ's hands and feet. If you think that you are unworthy of such a calling, you are probably right,³ but remember that your calling has nothing to do with your own worthiness but everything to do with God's grace. Do not be afraid to step up and do what you are called to do, whether it be at the pulpit or elsewhere.


Notes:
1 - 1 Timothy 1:15
2 - Some of my favorites from the Bible are Elijah, who once asked God to kill him; Jonah, who hated the people to whom he preached; and Paul, who once had Christians put to death.
3 - And if you think that you are worthy, you are probably fooling yourself.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.

Perspective: Fire in Our Hearts

Developed while contemplating things I learned in a Bible study on the Book of Leviticus.
I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.

Fire in Our Hearts

Scripture:

When the Feast of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Without warning there was a sound like a strong wind, gale force - no one could tell where it came from. It filled the whole building. Then, like a wildfire, the Holy Spirit spread through their ranks, and they started speaking in a number of different languages as the Spirit prompted them.

Acts 2:1-4 (The Message)

We are Your burning ones
We are consumed by You
We set our lives apart
We are consumed by You

Let this love be like a fire
Let our life be like a flame
Fill our souls with Your desire
Let our passion bring You fame

From "The Burning Ones" by Chris Quilala (Jesus Culture)

Fire is a powerful thing. It provides some of life's basic necessities, such as light and heat, and it is used to prepare our food. Fire can be used to create, and it can be used to destroy. Fire brings life to the machinery we use on a daily basis, and it is used to shape and to strengthen materials like glass and metal. At the same time, fire can clear out whole forests and ravage entire cities.

Fire is also what powers ministry.

After God brought the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, they spent many years in the desert before finally entering the Promised Land. It was during the time when they were camped at Mount Sinai that the Israelite priesthood was established. It was the ministry of the priests to make offerings to God on behalf of the people. These offerings were brought to the priests for a number of reasons including atonement for sins and thanksgiving to God.¹

On the day that the first offerings were made to God by the newly ordained priests, fire came down from God and set the altar ablaze, consuming the offerings.² This holy fire from God was never to go out but to be kept burning on the altar.³

After these first offerings were made, something very strange and tragic happened. Two of the priests decided to burn incense in their censors. For some reason, the fire they burned was deemed unholy, and God was extremely unhappy with them. Fire came from God and burned the two alive.⁴ There are a number of theories regarding why God was so upset with the two priests. One theory is that the fire that they burned in their censors did not come from the altar, meaning that the fire was not from God but from another source.⁵

Centuries later, the final sin offering of all time was made when Christ gave His life on the cross. Ministry changed from burning offerings on the alter to proclaiming Christ's grace and mercy and sharing His love with others. One day, after Christ rose from the dead and ascended into heaven, God sent holy fire from heaven once again. On that day, called Pentecost, Christ's disciples were gathered together in their meeting place when a powerful wind suddenly blew into the room. Then fire spread throughout the room, touching each of them. Afterward, the Disciples were empowered to do things that they never thought possible, the types of miraculous things they saw Jesus do.⁶

The fire that filled the room and touched the Disciples that day was the Holy Spirit. Ever since, followers of Christ have burned the fire of the Holy Spirit on the altars of their hearts as they offer their lives to God. This fire has empowered people to do things they could never have accomplished on their own.

Though the nature of ministry has changed, there are still people who burn unholy fire. St. Paul writes of people "proclaim Christ from envy and rivalry" and "out of selfish ambition."⁷ Such people claim to do the work of God, but, in their hearts, they are driven by their own selfish agendas. There are even people who use their ministry as an outlet for their own animosity toward others. They twist and pervert the message of Christ so that people do not hear a message of hope, mercy, and love but a message of hatred and condemnation.

These people do not speak for God, and they do not speak for the Church. The fire burning in their hearts is not the fire of the Holy spirit, but an unholy fire. Though we do not see very much spontaneous human combustion in our day, I cannot help but feel that God is just as upset with these people as He was with the two aforementioned priests.

Not all of us are called to be ministers who serve churches, but each one of us are called to minister to others in some way. We are called to be the hands and feet of Christ, showing His love to the world. As we seek to do God's will in our lives, let us ask God to search our hearts, to snuff out any fires that did not come from Him, and to set our hearts ablaze with His Holy Spirit.


Notes:
1 - Leviticus 1-7
2 - Leviticus 9:22-24
3 - Leviticus 6:12-13
4 - Leviticus 10:1-2
5 - Brought to my attention by a minister friend. See also Wikipedia article: Nadab and Abihu.
6 - Book of Acts
7 - Philippians 1:15,17


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.