Introspection: This Winding Path

I share these thoughts, hoping they are of help to someone else.


This Winding Path

Scripture:

Tell me all about Your faithful love
come morning time
because I trust You.
Show me the way I should go
because I offer my life up to You.

Psalm 143:8 (CEB)

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

From "Never Alone" by BarlowGirl

A few weeks ago, in response to increasing stress in my life, I decided that I needed to make more of an effort to observe a Sabbath day every week. I decided that I would work harder to get my work done during the week so that, on Saturday, I can put aside all work and "supposed-to's" of life and simply rest and enjoy the day.¹ Since then, I have found myself dissatisfied with how I spend Saturday: typically I sleep too late and don't do enough to enjoy the day. On one Saturday I even broke down and wrote a blog post.

One other thing I have noticed since my decision to take a sabbath is that, on Sunday, I have been paying more attention to spiritual disciplines: going to church services, reading books of a spiritual nature, and going for long walks to gather my thoughts, for example. I have found that, even if Saturday is a letdown, Sunday is refreshing.

I was introduced to a new spiritual discipline nearly six years ago: praying while walking through a labyrinth. Originally expecting some sort of maze, I learned that a prayer labyrinth consists of a single winding, non-branching path that leads to a center area.² I have walked through a labyrinth at least twice in the past, but I didn't get much out of it because I didn't really understand what it all meant. My pastor recently mentioned a prayer labyrinth in a sermon, and from her I learned that, on my way to the center, I should let go of the things that are weighing me down inside. In the center, I should just spend time in the presence of God. On my way out, I should receive whatever God offers to me on my way back into the world.

My favorite place to walk is Furman University, my Alma Mater. Furman has a prayer labyrinth behind its chapel, and last Sunday, with my new understanding of the purpose of the labyrinth, I decided to walk through it before walking around the campus. I think I was seeking some sort of guidance or some peace of mind after a bad week.


When I arrived, I removed my shoes and socks and emptied my pockets.³ As I walked into the labyrinth, I asked God for forgiveness for my failures and for help with my struggles. I also tried to push out thoughts of leaving my shoes and personal effects unguarded, of getting sunburned, and of my current hopes and fears in my life. In the center, I knelt down on my knees as if in the presence of God. I saw the grass and bricks beneath me and felt the hot sun above me. I heard sounds of bicycles and cars and heard organ music from the chapel. I ended my time in the center by whispering the Lord's Prayer. As I walked out of the labyrinth I held out my hands, palms up, as if to receive whatever God was offering me.

As you can probably tell, I haven't exactly mastered the practice of walking a prayer labyrinth or of simply being still and knowing I'm in the presence of God. I am hoping, though, to improve on these things through practice. I remembered something a friend who works in chaplaincy said about Communion: we don't really know what's going on when we share the bread and the wine, but we trust that God is somehow present in it all. Perhaps the same is true for my experience in the prayer labyrinth: though I don't really know what I was doing, I can trust that God was somehow present in my experience.⁴

I guess my experience in the prayer labyrinth is much like my experience in life. Just as I didn't really know what I was doing in the labyrinth, I don't really know what I'm doing in life. And just as I don't really understand certain spiritual practices, I don't really understand God. Despite my lack of understanding, I must trust that God is journeying with me as I navigate the labyrinth that is my life.

I believe that God has spoken to me in very tangible ways in the past, but the fact that God doesn't seem to respond in such a way immediately every time I ask Him does not mean that He is not present or that He does not care.⁵ I must have faith in God to guide me through the dark, scary, and uncertain twists and turns of my life.


Notes:
1 - See my introspection "Balancing Act."
2 - Wikipedia: "Labyrinth"
3 - Nobody said that I had to do this; it just seemed right. See Exodus 3:5.
4 - After all, God did give me something to reflect on and to blog about.
5 - To be honest, I have also been reflecting on the BarlowGirl song quoted above. Listen to the song and read the lyrics. This song is very good and very honest.

The photograph of the Furman University Labyrinth was taken by me and published with the permission of the Furman University Chaplaincy.


If you have any feedback, thoughts, stories, or even arguments to contribute, please leave comments.