Sermon: One Thing (2016)

Delivered at Trinity United Methodist Church in Laurens, South Carolina on July 3, 2016

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

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One Thing

Audio Version

Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him.  And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, "This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them."

So he told them this parable:

"There was a man who had two sons.  The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.'  So he divided his property between them.  A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living.  When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs.  He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything.  But when he came to himself he said, 'How many of my father's hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger!  I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands."'  So he set off and went to his father.  But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him.  Then the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'  But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly, bring out a robe — the best one — and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!' And they began to celebrate.

"Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing.  He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on.  He replied, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.'  Then he became angry and refused to go in.  His father came out and began to plead with him.  But he answered his father, 'Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends.  But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!'  Then the father said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.  But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.'"

Luke 15:1-3,11b-32 (NRSV)

My chains are gone, I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood, His mercy rains

Unending love, amazing grace

From "My Chains Are Gone" by Chris Tomlin

One major criticism lobbed at Jesus involved the type of company He kept.  One day, when Jesus hears some of His detractors criticizing Him for associating with so-called "sinners," He begins telling parables to help people to see that He, the Son of Man, "came to seek out and to save the lost."¹  Some people refer to these stories as the "lost parables."  First, Jesus tells a story about a shepherd who leaves behind ninety-nine well-behaved sheep to find the one that went astray.  Next, He tells a story about a woman who turns her house upside-down looking for a lost coin.²  Finally, He tells a very powerful story about a rich man who has two lost sons.


The Prodigal Son

The story begins when the younger of the two sons approaches his father and asks for his share of the family fortune.  This request is tantamount to asking his father to drop dead, but, in spite of this display of utter disrespect, his father gives him what he wants.  The young man then leaves his home, moves far away, and begins to live a life of "wine, women, and song."  Eventually his money dries up, and he can no longer afford his hedonistic lifestyle.  Then, to make matters worse, a famine hits the land, and he begins to go hungry.  With no other options, he takes a job working for a pig farmer, a job not fitting for someone who was raised in a Jewish home.

As the young man turns a lustful eye towards the junk he's feeding the pigs, he remembers how well his father treated the household servants.  He then hatches a plan to go back home and beg his father to let him return, not as a son but as a hired servant.  As he nears his home, rehearsing what he is planning to say, his father sees him from a distance and runs out to embrace him.  The son tries to make his spiel, but the father won't listen.  Instead, he calls his servants and tells them to dress his son in the finest clothes they can find and to prepare for a welcome-home party.

Meanwhile, the older son is out taking care of his father's estate, and he hears music and dancing.  He asks one of the household staff what is going on, and he learns that his brother has returned and that his father has thrown him a party.  The older son is enraged.  His worthless brother leaves home, squanders his inheritance doing God knows what, and then comes home to be treated like a king!  He, on the other hand, has never given his father any grief whatsoever and has even spent years busting his hump working for him.  His brother leaves home and does nothing but party and then comes home to yet another party.  Is there no justice? he thought to himself.  I'm the one who does all the work around here!  I'm the one who deserves a party!

The older son confronts his father about this gross injustice, and the father says, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.  But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found."

If you took a poll, asking people which of Jesus' parables is their favorite, I would wager a guess that the Parable of the Prodigal Son would be either the most popular answer or a close second.  It is not hard to see why so many people love this story.  It is the type of parable that comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable.  It can be a great comfort to anyone who has ever identified with the wayward younger son, for it reminds us that, no matter what we've done, God is always ready to welcome us home with open arms.  At the same time, though, this parable can be deeply discomforting, like so many of Jesus' teachings, because, if we let it, it just might throw a light on some parts of ourselves we would probably rather not see.

One thing I personally like about this parable is how fun it is to psychoanalyze the two sons.  It is probably a safe assumption that the older son has what pop psychology calls a Type A personality.  People with Type A personalities can be described as organized, ambitious, and competitive and are often prone to hostility, irritability, impatience, and stress.  Perhaps the younger brother has a Type B personality.  Someone with a Type B personality is much more easygoing, preferring the enjoyment of life over personal achievement.³

Though we tend to focus on the differences between the two sons, it is important to consider what they have in common.  Neither son seemed to enjoy life at his father's house: the younger son could not wait to receive his inheritance and leave, while the older son thought of himself as a slave.  The main difference between the two is that the older son stayed and did what he was supposed to do while the younger son left and did what he actually wanted to do.  I wonder if maybe the older son's rage did not really come from disgust toward his brother's lifestyle.  I wonder if he was actually envious that his brother actually got the chance to leave home and enjoy his life, while he stayed at home and resigned himself to a life of slavery to his father.  In the words of one preacher, "Maybe the one you've lost is sleeping in your own house."⁴

I wonder if the two sons were both haunted by what my friend Laura calls perceived expectations.  In other words, I wonder if deep down they thought that their father had unreasonable expectations of them.  The older son spent his life striving to earn his father's approval, while the younger son gave up on ever earning his father's approval and simply left home to enjoy life.  Both sons thought of life at their father's house as a life of slavery, but perhaps the two were slaves to nothing but their own flawed perceptions of their father.  When the younger son returns home, hoping to be hired as a worker, his father puts a robe on his shoulders and throws him a welcome-home party.  When the older son objects to his father's gracious treatment of the younger son, the father says, "What's mine is yours."  These are hardly the actions of a slave driver.

I think that some Christians are spiritual Type A's.  Like Jesus' critics, they toil and struggle and strain to please God while setting themselves apart from so-called "sinners."  They turn up their noses at people who live for the moment, reminding themselves that, though others may enjoy their lives now, they will enjoy a much greater reward later on.  Deep down, they're miserable.  The God they strive to please seems to remain hopelessly out of reach.  They beat themselves up on the inside because they cannot measure up to the expectations they assume God has for them.⁵  They envy and resent free-spirited people who seem to enjoy their lives with no apparent trace of guilt or shame.  I know that such Christians exist, because I have been one.


The Prodigal Daughter

In the Gospel, there is another story about a pair of siblings who have conflicting Type A and Type B personalities.

Jesus was very close with a certain family who lived in the town of Bethany.  In this family were two sisters named Mary and Martha and a brother named Lazarus, who apparently had some health problems.  This family was apparently financially comfortable, though not necessarily rich.⁶  We know that Jesus occasionally stayed with this family as He traveled, proclaiming His message about the Kingdom of God.

One evening, while Jesus is staying at this family's house, Martha is busy preparing dinner.  She is keenly aware of everything that is expected of her, as a host and as a woman, and, for some reason, things just aren't getting done.  With society's expectations weighing heavily upon her, she becomes angry with her sister Mary for not lending her a hand.  When Martha cannot take the stress any longer, she loses her temper, walks over to where Jesus is teaching, and interrupts Him, saying, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?  Tell her then to help me."⁷

While Type-A Martha has been doing her best to be a good host to Jesus, Type-B Mary has been sitting at His feet, listening to Him teach.  In our society, Mary might come across as inconsiderate of her sister, and perhaps a bit lazy, but the world was a very different place when Jesus walked the earth.  In Jesus' day, when a rabbi taught, His disciples sat at His feet and listened.  Women were not educated at the time, so they wouldn't have been chosen by rabbis to be disciples.  By sitting at Jesus' feet, Mary has basically declared herself to be one of Jesus' disciples.⁸  Apparently, Mary has a lot of nerve and no regard for her place in society.

I believe that Mary of Bethany could rightfully be named the "Prodigal Daughter."  Most people incorrectly think that the word prodigal means "wayward."  In one sense, Mary was wayward like the Prodigal Son, because she threw aside everything that was expected of her to do what she wanted to do.  The word prodigal actually means "extravagant."  On another occasion when Jesus and his disciples are staying with the family in Bethany, Mary barges in during dinner, breaks open a very expensive jar of perfume, and pours the perfume all over Jesus.  Some theorize that this jar of perfume, which is worth about a year's wages for a common worker, may have been a gift from her parents to provide for her future financial security.⁹  Then, in an act that would be considered extremely immodest in her day, she lets her hair down and wipes Jesus' feet with it.¹⁰

Mary was shameless and wasteful, just like the Prodigal Son.

As a host, Mary was supposed to help her sister with the housework; instead she sought spiritual enlightenment at the feet of Jesus.  As a woman, she was supposed to be modest; instead, she did things that were considered indecent and wasteful to express some of her deepest feelings.  Mary was not willing to simply be the person her family and her society thought she was supposed to be.  She refused to be a slave to perceived expectations, and she was true to herself.

Mary followed her heart, and Jesus commended her for it.

When Martha tells Jesus to make Mary do what she is supposed to do, Jesus replies, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."¹¹  When one disciple chastises Mary for wasting the expensive bottle of perfume, Jesus comes to her defense.  In one version of this story, Jesus says, "Let her alone; why do you trouble her?  She has performed a good service for me...  Truly I tell you, wherever the good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her."¹²


"There Is Need of Only One Thing"

So what is the "one thing" Jesus said was needed - the "one thing" Mary chose - the "one thing" that would not be taken away from her?

St. Paul writes in one of his letters that he has been tormented by something he calls a "thorn in the flesh."¹³  He never states exactly what this "thorn in the flesh" is, but there has been a lot of speculation.  Many think he is probably referring to some sort of physical ailment, perhaps weakening eyesight.  I wonder if Paul might be referring to something else, something he apparently doesn't want to put into writing.  Though the word flesh might refer to a person's body, it is also used in the Bible to refer to the ego or the self.  In another letter, Paul laments, "I'm sold as a slave to sin.  I don't know what I'm doing, because I don't do what I want to do.  Instead, I do the thing that I hate."¹⁴  I wonder if Paul had some sort of character flaw or moral failure that he just couldn't seem to overcome.

If this is the case, then perhaps perceived expectations also weighed heavily on Paul.  He wasn't living up to his own expectations, and perhaps he thought that he wasn't living up to God's expectations either.  Paul was a leader in the Church, so perhaps he felt that he wasn't living up to his calling.  I wonder if maybe he felt the need to maintain what one seminary professor called the "pastor's mystique."  Nobody wants to know that pastors aren't perfect, so sometimes pastors feel the need to constantly guard themselves lest people discover their faults and failures and lose all respect for them.¹⁵

Paul realizes that he cannot overcome his problem on his own, so he begs God to take it away from him.  He prays three times, and things do not get any better.  In Paul's life - as in Martha's kitchen - things just aren't getting done.

Finally, Paul hears God say, "My grace is enough for you."¹⁶

God basically says, "Paul, your 'thorn in the flesh' is not going away.  You are never going to live up to anyone's expectations, not even your own.  But that's alright.  You don't have to be perfect.  I love you, and I accept you just as you are, 'thorns' and all."

I wonder if perhaps the "one thing" Mary received was grace.  Sometimes we think of God's grace as the power from God to do better, but perhaps grace is something altogether different.  According to theologian Paul Tillich, "Grace does not mean simply that we are making progress in our moral self-control, in our fight against special faults, and in our relationships to men and to society."  Tillich describes God's grace as that which calls out to us in our darkest moments, saying:
You are accepted.  You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know.  Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later.  Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much.  Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything.  Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!¹⁷

Mary was able to flout the world's expectations of her and follow her heart because she had accepted God's grace.  She had accepted that she was already loved and accepted by God.  Accepting God's grace gives us freedom,

• freedom from perceived expectations,
• freedom from the rat race that has engulfed the world around us,
• freedom from the words supposed to,
• freedom the fear of getting it wrong,
• freedom to be who we were created to be.

It's no wonder that the words grace and peace are so often coupled together.  Accepting God's grace gave Mary the freedom to be who she was created to be, a disciple of Jesus Christ.  Mary's place was not in the kitchen but at the feet of her Rabbi.

Sometimes we find ourselves carrying burdens we were never meant to carry, by trying to live up to expectations we were never meant to meet.  We cannot please everyone, and, if we try to meet everyone's expectations, we will become slaves to every person we meet.  For some people, perceived expectations have even become a religion, for they have projected unreasonable expectations onto God in the same way that the two sons in Jesus' parable projected unreasonable expectations onto their father.  Christ said,
Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.¹⁸
If our religion feels more like a millstone around our necks, then something has gone horribly wrong.

Like Mary of Bethany, we are all called to be disciples of Jesus Christ, but each one of us is called to follow Christ in a way that is unique, personal, and natural.  According to C.S. Lewis, when we serve God, we actually become more ourselves than we ever were.¹⁹  I believe this is why Christ says that His yoke is easy.  One recent translation of the Bible paraphrases Jesus' words in this way: "Put My yoke upon your shoulders - it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves."²⁰  Frederick Buechner writes, "The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."²¹  A life of slavery and conformity is the last thing God has in mind for us, so don't make your life any harder than it already is!

Grace allows us to cast aside all the expectations of the world around us; grace gives us the freedom to follow our hearts and the freedom to become fully who God created us to be; and grace welcomes us home those times when following our hearts lands us in a pigsty.  If you have been carrying around the heavy burden of people's expectations, may you fully accept God's grace.  May you accept that you are already loved and accepted by God, and may this love and acceptance bring you peace.

Grace and peace be with you.

Amen.


Notes:

1. Luke 19:10 (NRSV)
2. Luke 15:4-10
3. Wikipedia: Type A and Type B personality theory
4. Kent Dobson.  "Parables: Prodigal Son."  Mars Hill Bible Church podcast, 06/21/2015.
5. David Seamands describes such Christians in Healing for Damaged Emotions. 1981, David C. Cook.  p. 15
6. Frank Viola.  God's Favorite Place on Earth.  2013, David C. Cook.  p. 17
7. Luke 10:38-40 (NRSV)
8. Wikipedia: Mary of Bethany
9. Viola p. 139
10. John 12:1-8
11. Luke 10:41-42 (NRSV) (emphasis mine)
12. Mark  14:6,9 (NRSV).  Yes, I realize that Mark's account of Jesus' anointing does not identify the woman anointing Jesus as Mary of Bethany, but I really like Jesus' response in this account.
13. 2 Corinthians 12:7
14. Romans 7:14-15 (CEB)
15. Craig Groeschel.  Dare to Drop the Pose: Ten Things Christians Think but Are Afraid to Say.  2010, Multnomah Books.  pp. 9-10
16. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9
17. Paul Tillich.  The Shaking of the Foundations.  ch. 19
18. Matthew 11:28-30 (NRSV)
19. C.S. Lewis.  The Screwtape Letters.  ch. 13
20. Matthew 11:29 (The Voice)
21. Frederick Buechner.  Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC.  1993, Harper One.  p. 119

The Return of the Prodigal Son was painted by Pompeo Batoni in 1773.  Christ in the House of Martha and Mary was painted by Johannes Vermeer in 1654.  The Sharpie tattoo on my left forearm was badly drawn by me in 2013.