Perspective: The Elephant in the Prayer Room

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The Elephant in the Prayer Room

Don't be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks.  Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (CEB)

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

From "Trust in You" by Lauren Daigle

While teaching the Disciples about prayer, Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.  For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."¹  For me, when it comes to Jesus' invitation to ask, search, and knock, there is always a proverbial elephant in the room, namely the reality of unanswered prayer.  We have all asked for things we never received, searched for things we never found, and knocked on doors that never opened.

I do not think that Jesus is actually promising that God will give us everything we request of God, for there are far too many people who do not have everything they've ever wanted.  That said, I have tried to figure out if there is a way to approach Jesus' exhortation that makes room for the frustration, disappointment, and heartache of unanswered prayer.

I think that maybe the point of what Jesus says is not that we can get whatever we want but rather that we are invited to ask, to search, and to knock.

Maybe Jesus is calling us to take action.  Note that He does not encourage us to simply ask, but also to search and to knock.  We are indeed invited to make requests of God, but there could still be some legwork on our part.  We are responsible to go out and search and to knock on doors.  I've recently come to realize that some people, myself included, are a lot more comfortable with wishing for something or longing for something than with actually pursuing it.²  Wishing and longing can get in the way of asking, searching, and knocking.  We must ask, or else we will not receive; we must search, or else we will not find; and we must knock, or else the door will not be opened for us.

Maybe Jesus is calling us to be persistent.  Maybe we need to keep banging on the proverbial door until it is finally opened for us.³  Maybe we need to pray like Jacob who once literally grappled with God all night and proclaimed, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me."⁴  If we aren't praying persistently for what we claim we want, then can we say that we really want it?⁵  Perhaps we must ask until we receive, search until we find, and knock until the door is opened for us.

Maybe Jesus is calling us to be open to the unexpected.  It is pointless to pray if we do not expect God to act,⁶ but we must realize that God might not act in the way we expect.  Maybe what God wants to give us is different from what we want for ourselves or even better that what we want.  All that said, we still need to ask, search, and knock with expectancy.  Maybe we need to ask until we receive what we did not know we needed, to search until we find what we were not expecting, and to knock until a door we did not previously notice opens for us.

Maybe Jesus is calling us to reconsider our own desires.  Maybe arriving at the place where we realize that what we want is not what we actually need requires some asking, some searching, and some knocking.  Maybe we need to ask until we no longer need to receive, to search until we no longer need to find, and to knock until we no longer need the door opened for us.

The feeling that our prayers have gone unheard or unanswered is painful, but it is a pain understood by the One who invites us to ask, search, and knock.  Probably the greatest biblical example of an unanswered prayer is the prayer Jesus prayed before He was betrayed by one of His disciples and arrested: "Remove this cup from me."⁷  God did not take away the cup of suffering Jesus would have to drink: on the very next day, He was crucified.⁸

I do not know why some prayers seemingly go unanswered, but I hope that I have given you some things to consider as you wrestle with what it means to ask, search, and knock.

A few years ago, I wrote a prayer based on Jesus' invitation.  I offer it to you now.

Most gracious and loving God,
You are the Giver of all good gifts,
and You know all things.
You know my frustration that there are
blessings I have not yet received,
things I have not yet found,
and doors that have not yet been opened for me.
Grant me patience, wisdom, and boldness
as I continue to ask, search, and knock.
In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

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For more thoughts on asking, searching, and knocking check out my 2016 sermon on the subject.


Notes:

1. Matthew 7:7-8 and Luke 11:9-10 (NRSV)
2. Suzanne Stabile and Joel Stabile.  "Episode 30: Questions and Answers."  The Enneagram Journey, 06/26/18.
3. Luke 11:5-8
4. Genesis 32:22-32 (NRSV)
5. William Barclay.  The New Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of Matthew, Volume One.  2001, Saint Andrew Press.  p. 314
6. James 1:5-8
7. Mark 14:36 and Luke 22:42 (NRSV)
8. Adam Hamilton.  Why?: Making Sense of God's Will.  2011, Abingdon Press.  ch. 2

Christ in Gethsemane was painted by Heinrich Hoffman in 1886.