Introspection: The Part I Forgot

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The Part I Forgot

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger because you are with me.

Psalm 23:4a (CEB)

There must be some other way
To get where we have to go
There must be some other way
Please show me another way

From "There Must Be Some Other Way" by Genesis

At the end of last year, I confessed that I wasn't experiencing much peace in my life, and I announced that I had decided to focus on peace in the new year.  I also noted that my first step on this journey was to start praying a prayer commonly known as the Serenity Prayer.¹  This prayer is all about accepting life as it comes and trusting God with whatever happens, so my hope is that, by regularly praying this prayer, I will become a less anxious person.  Around New Year's Day, people like to say things like, "New year, new you."  The new me I hope to become in this new year is a more serene me.

I think that the Serenity Prayer is an especially good prayer for me to pray since it reminds me of so many important truths about life.  It reminds me that there are things in life I cannot change and simply have to accept.  It also reminds me that there are actions I can take amid the things I cannot change, and that I need wisdom and courage from God to do so.  The prayer reminds me that I need to live in the moment.  After all, worrying about the future is pointless since I don't really know what the future will bring.  It reminds me that life is not like a certain fast food restaurant that once promised that you can "have it your way."  It reminds me that God knows what is best and that I need to trust God to bring something good out of whatever happens.

A few weeks ago, on my first day back to work after my holiday break, I rewarded myself for returning to work by taking a long walk around the park afterward.  I had set my phone to remind me twice a day to pray the Serenity Prayer, and, while I was walking, I received my afternoon reminder.  I didn't want to look up the words on my phone at the moment, so I attempted to pray the prayer from memory.²  I discovered that, since I had started praying the prayer regularly, I had mostly memorized it.  I couldn't recite it precisely word-for-word, but I knew it point-by-point.  I repeated the prayer in my mind and reflected upon the different parts of it as I walked.  I was happy that this prayer had started to sink in, at least in one way.

The next morning, when I prayed the prayer while looking at the words, I discovered that I had forgotten one part of the prayer when I tried to pray it from memory the previous day.  The part I had forgotten was the line about "accepting hardship as a pathway to peace."  It says a lot that I would forget this particular part.  Though it is the part of the prayer I seemingly want to remember the least, it is probably the part I need to remember the most.  I want peace in my life, but I do not want what is supposed to lead me to it.  I want be there, but I don't really want to get there.

I speculated previously that the people who have an abiding peace in God are the people who have been through difficult times and have found God to be faithful in the midst of them.  They know that God brought them through hardships they faced in the past, and they are confident that God will bring them through any hardships they will face in the future.  They have learned to trust God, so they do not worry.

I know that God will go with me through the dark valleys of life, but I still don't want to go through the dark valleys I fear might be ahead of me.

Lately, as I've prayed the Serenity Prayer, I've remembered another prayer.  During the night before Jesus was betrayed by a good friend, arrested by a mob, put on trial, and executed by crucifixion, He prayed to God, saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done."³  Jesus knew what was ahead of Him, and naturally He did not want to go through it.  He also knew that there might not be another option for Him, so He surrendered His own will to God's and trusted God with whatever lay ahead of Him.  Because He went through the crucifixion, God resurrected Him, thereby giving a new hope to the world.

The "crosses" I face in life are nothing compared to the cross Jesus bore, yet I figure I cannot go wrong by praying as He prayed.  I can pray that God spares me from the things I fear right now, acknowledging that God might not choose to do so.  I can pray that, if it is indeed God's will that I face these ordeals, God gives me wisdom and strength in the midst of them and brings me through them with a greater sense of peace.


Notes:

1. The Serenity Prayer is attributed to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr.
2. The version of the prayer I've been praying is the longer version found at the following link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer#Versions
3. Luke 22:42 (NRSV)

The photograph of the foggy mountain was taken by Pixabay user StockSnap and has been released to the public domain.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.