Perspective: No Turning Back

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No Turning Back

Then Jesus told his disciples, "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it."

Matthew 16:24-25 (NRSV)

I just can't walk away

'Cause after loving You

I can never be the same

From "Never Be the Same" by RED

The prophet Elijah had been instructed by God to name a man named Elisha as his successor,¹ so he met up with Elisha at his family's home.  While Elisha was helping to plow a field, Elijah walked past him, throwing his mantle over him.  Elisha understood what this symbolic action meant for him, but there was something he needed to do before he left his home.  He ran after Elijah and said to him, "Let me kiss my father and my mother, then I will follow you."

"Go!" Elisha replied.  "I'm not holding you back!"

Elisha then returned to his home, butchered the two oxen that were pulling his plow, used the plow and the yoke as firewood to cook the meat, and then served the meat to the members of the household.²

It was a strange way for someone to tell his family goodbye.

I think it is safe to say that Elisha had no intention of ever plowing again.

One day hundreds of years later, while walking by the Sea of Galilee, Jesus met a number of fishermen, and He called them to follow Him.  They left their nets, their boats, and their families' businesses and followed Jesus.³  Later on, Jesus came across a tax collector named Matthew and also called him to be His follower.  Matthew left his toll booth, and, like Elisha, he commemorated his new calling in life with a dinner, to which he invited a number of his colleagues.⁴

According to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."⁵  Death is the ultimate symbol of change.  In some sense, life itself is a repeating cycle of death and rebirth.  What was ceases to be, and what will be comes into being.  When Elijah called Elisha, Elisha died as a farmer and was reborn as a prophet.  When Jesus called His first students, they died as fishermen and tax collectors and were reborn as Disciples.  Their lives would take on a new meaning, and they would no longer be the people they were when they accepted their call.

Some journeys in life are such that, once we start down the road, there will be no turning back.  What is seen will never be unseen; what is learned will never be unlearned; and what is discovered will never be undiscovered.  We will not be the same people we were before we started the journey.  Such are the journeys God calls us to take.

---

I believe that my own journey has left me a different person.  If you would like to read about my call and journey of faith, check out my introspection "A Time of Growth."


Notes:

1. 1 Kings 19:15-16
2. 1 Kings 19:19-21 (CEB)
3. Matthew 4:18-22
4. Matthew 9:9-10
5. Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  The Cost of Discipleship.

The illustration featured in this perspective is understood to be public domain.

Introspection: Something I Lost

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Something I Lost

When Jesus turned and saw them following, he asked, "What are you looking for?"

John 1:38a (CEB)

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

From the mountains of faith

To a river so deep

I must be looking for something

Something sacred I lost

But the river is wide

And it's too hard to cross

From "The River of Dreams" by Billy Joel

Throughout the Gospel story, many people approached Jesus with questions.  Some wanted to test Him to see if He would give the answers they thought He should give.  Some were earnestly seeking knowledge.  Some wanted Jesus to settle disputes for them.  Even now, when we turn to Jesus through the reading of the Gospels, we are often looking for answers.  That said, I am fascinated by those rare occasions when Jesus is the one who poses the question.

One day, the prophet John was speaking with two of his students.  When he saw Jesus walk by, he said to them, "Look, here is the Lamb of God!"  The two students started following Jesus at a distance.  Perhaps they were too nervous to approach Him directly.¹

When Jesus turned around and saw His two stalkers, He asked them, "What are you looking for?"

They asked Him, "Rabbi, where are you staying?"

Jesus replied, "Come and see."²

The question the two students asked Jesus seems like a rather strange response to such a deep existential question.  At first glance, I wondered if maybe they didn't really know what else to say at the moment.  Personally, I would like to think that, if the Son of God actually lent me His ear and asked me such a question, I would come up with a better response than, "Uhhh...  Where are You staying?"  Scholar William Barclay suggests that the two asked Jesus where He was staying because they wanted more than a brief conversation with Him.³  I think that maybe, like most of us, they wanted their lives to mean something.  Whatever the Lamb of God was there to do, they wanted to be a part of it.

What am I looking for? is, I think, a question we all need to ask ourselves from time to time.

As for me, right now I think I'm looking for something I lost.

---

Back in 2010, I felt a stirring in my soul.  In the previous year, I was given a way out of a job that brought me a great deal of shame and was led to a job in which I could take pride.  I had started teaching Sunday school and preaching on occasion at my home church, and I had taken up writing.  In the latter part of the year, I left behind a ministry I had outgrown and was led to a new community.  At that time, there was movement in my life.  At that time, I believed that I was actually put on this planet for a purpose and that I just might be heading toward that purpose.

At some point, the train started moving too fast, and then it derailed.  I went through a painful season marked by failure and guilt.  Eventually, I started running away from pain.  Over time, I started feeling a sense of discontent with my life.

Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm not where I think I ought to be in life and that the things I want in life remain out of reach.  Sometimes I feel anxious about the things in my life that are not as I think they should be, some of which I cannot control.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels, doing the same things week in and week out.  Sometimes I just feel numb.  What I do not feel nowadays is the stirring I once felt.

I think that lately I've been doing things to try to make myself feel the way I felt seven years ago.  For example, I started reading a book I was reading back then, and I've started listening to a band I discovered at that time.⁴

By the end of last year, I had reached the conclusion that my perceived stagnation in life is caused, at least in part, by the fact that I've become pain averse.  A few days ago, I decided to change direction, and I ran head-first into my pain.  I sat down and compiled a list of things that have caused me pain over the last six years, so that I could confront what I have been trying to avoid.  This exercise was not nearly as painful as I expected it to be.  I actually found it cathartic: I felt like I was writing more of a confession than a list of grievances.

As I read over the list I compiled, I came to see that I have not been running from pain in general but rather from one particular kind of pain, the pain of feeling inadequate.  I've been running away from anything that makes me feel like I am not enough - not strong enough, not brave enough, not attractive enough, not talented enough, not accomplished enough, not caring enough, not loving enough, not Christian enough, not good enough.

Years ago, I wrote about the voices in my head.  I am referring, of course, to the ever-present, vicious, tyrannical inner-critic that perfectionistic types know all too well.  Sigmund Freud referred to it as the superego.  Such voices never miss an opportunity to tell those of us who have ears to hear that we're not enough.

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know that my handle is @BrokenAndShiny.  This name was inspired by the book Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen.  In one chapter, Nouwen reminisces about seeing Mass, a musical by Leonard Bernstein.  At one point in this production, a priest breaks a glass chalice, and, upon examining the pieces, he says, "I never realized that broken glass could shine so brightly."⁵  I'm ever aware of my brokenness, but I want to shine brightly in the midst of it.

This is the point at which I'm supposed to wrap everything up with a nice, pretty bow on top.  I'm still processing all of this and figuring out what steps I need to take next.  If you, the reader, happen to be wrestling with some of the same stuff, I would encourage you not let the critics grind you down, including the critics that happen to live in your head.  If we run away from everything we think might make us feel that we are not enough, we will miss out on all opportunities to discover that we actually are enough.  Also, I would encourage you to remember a word of comfort St. Paul once heard from God: "My grace is enough for you, because power is made perfect in weakness."⁶


Notes:

1. William Barclay.  The New Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of John, Volume One.  2001, Saint Andrew Press.  p. 100
2. John 1:35-39 (NRSV)
3. Barclay, p. 102
4. In case you're wondering, the book is Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus, and the band is M83.
5. Henri J.M. Nouwen.  Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.  2002, The Crossroad Publishing Company. p. 102
6. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (CEB)

The photograph of the broken glass was taken by Jef Poskanzer and is used under the under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Perspective: Remember Your Baptism

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Remember Your Baptism

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8 (NRSV)

I wanna love because You loved

I wanna give because You gave

I wanna reach my hand out to the lost

Because I know Your hand will save

From "Only You Can Save" by Chris Sligh

Not long before Jesus began His own ministry, a revival had broken out in the region of Judea.  People were flocking to the wilderness to hear the preaching of an eccentric prophet named John.  Many committed to changing their lives, and they were baptized in the river as a symbol of their fresh start.  John pointed to someone who was coming after him, saying, "I baptize you with water for repentance, but one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to carry his sandals.  He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."¹

One day, Jesus went into the wilderness to be baptized.  John recognized Jesus as the one about whom he had been speaking, so he was initially hesitant to baptize him.  He argued that Jesus should be the one baptizing him, but Jesus insisted on being baptized.  As Jesus ascended from the waters, the heavens were ripped open; the Holy Spirit descended from Heaven in the form of a dove and landed on Jesus; and a Voice from Heaven proclaimed to everyone present, "This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased."²

These events are meant to call to mind a certain passage from the Book of Isaiah.³  This passage is the second in a series of songs that describe a certain servant of God.  This Servant Song begins,

Here is my servant, whom I uphold,

my chosen, in whom my soul delights;

I have put my spirit upon him;

he will bring forth justice to the nations.⁴

Basically, the Gospel writer is telling us that Jesus is the chosen servant of God in whom God's soul delights, the servant on whom God has placed God's Spirit.

The song continues,

He will not cry or lift up his voice,

or make it heard in the street;

a bruised reed he will not break,

and a dimly burning wick he will not quench;

he will faithfully bring forth justice.

He will not grow faint or be crushed

until he has established justice in the earth;

and the coastlands wait for his teaching.⁵

This song is quoted in the Gospel of Matthew in reference to Jesus' ministry of healing.  Like the servant described by the prophet, Jesus showed mercy to the weak.  To the "bruised," he brought healing, and, to the "dimly burning," be brought renewed strength.  Like the servant who would not grow faint, Jesus tirelessly healed many people of their ailments.  Like the servant who would not cry out in the streets, Jesus was humble and discrete, often telling the people he healed not to tell anyone what he had done for them.⁶

As one calendar year ends and another begins, people commonly make resolutions to better themselves in some way during the new year.  Around the same time, people in churches around the world read about Jesus' baptism as they remember their own and contemplate what it means to them.  When we remember our baptism, we remember that we too are beloved children of God with whom God is well pleased.  I think that maybe remembering our baptism is also an opportunity for us to remember that, like Jesus, we too are called to be servants of God.

People wonder why Jesus needed to undergo a baptism for the repentance of sin if He had nothing of which he needed to repent, as Christians generally believe.  John the Baptist seemed to have the same question.  Some scholars suggest that, through baptism, Jesus was identifying Himself with the people He had come to save.⁷  One of the pastors of the church I attend recently suggested that Jesus was baptized to set an example for the rest of us to follow.⁸  When we follow our Lord through the waters of baptism, we too take on the mantle of a servant.  As followers of Christ, we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to do what He did: to work for justice, to share kindness, and to live a life of humility.

As we look toward the future, remembering what brought us to where we are today, may we not forget that we have been called to be agents of healing in a broken world.


Notes:

1. Matthew 3:1-12 (NRSV)
2. Matthew 3:13-17 (NRSV)
3. William Barclay.  The New Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of Matthew, Volume One.  2001, Saint Andrew Press.  p. 69
4. Isaiah 42:1 (NRSV)
5. Isaiah 42:2-4 (NRSV)
6. Matthew 12:15-21
7. Barclay, p. 69  (See also Matthew for Everyone, Part 1 by N.T Wright.  2004, Westminster John Knox Press.)
8. Jonathan Tompkins.  "Happy Re-Birthday!"

Bautismo de Cristo was painted by Juan Fernández de Navarrete around 1567.

Perspective: The Book and the Word

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

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The Book and the Word

Since childhood you have known the holy scriptures that help you to be wise in a way that leads to salvation through faith that is in Christ Jesus.  Every scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character, so that the person who belongs to God can be equipped to do everything that is good.

2 Timothy 3:15-17 (CEB)

Give me rules

I will break them

Show me lines

I will cross them

I need more than a truth to believe

I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes

To sweep me off my feet

From "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray

One day, while Jesus was teaching at the temple, He made a statement that some of the people in His audience found rather offensive.  He said, "I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life."¹  If we consider some of the implications of what Jesus said, some of us might find His claim offensive as well.

Hundreds of years before the days of Jesus, one poet wrote, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."²  These famous words are found in the middle of a very long Psalm dedicated to the Hebraic Law.  To the Psalmist, the Law is what helps people to navigate the murkiness of life without stumbling.  Nowadays, Christians often use the Psalmist's words to describe the Bible.

When Jesus says that He is the Light that keeps all who follow Him from walking in darkness, He is essentially claiming about Himself what the Psalmist said about the Law.  A number of the people who were listening to Jesus that day were Pharisees, people who dedicated their lives to following the Law to the letter.  They lived their lives by the book, so to speak.  These Pharisees found Jesus' claim offensive, and they argued that he had no right to make such a claim about Himself.³

Some Christians place the Bible on equal footing with Jesus.  Some even go so far as to suggest that the Bible is "the fourth person of the Trinity."  As I see it, such a statement is idolatrous.  Though Scripture is very important, it is not meant to be worshiped; instead, it points beyond itself to the One we are meant to worship.  As Christians, we are not to follow the Bible: we are to study the Bible so that we may learn what it means to follow Christ Himself.  Our main concern is not what is biblical, but rather what is Christlike.  In the words of one of my favorite preachers, "We're not 'Biblians': we're Christ-ians."⁴

Many use what is biblical to shield themselves from what is Christlike.  In the 1990s we were encouraged to ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do?" yet many of us use the Bible as an excuse not to do what Jesus would do.  Far too many times the phrase, "The Bible clearly says..." has been used to preface quotations from Scripture used to justify unloving, ungracious, and unchristlike attitudes and actions toward people.

Not long before Jesus made His claim that He is the Light of the World, some Pharisees along with some experts of the Law brought to Jesus a woman who had been caught in an adulterous affair.  "Teacher," they said, "this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.  Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?"⁵  They were exactly right.  The Bible clearly says, "If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death."⁶

Jesus directly disobeyed the clear biblical mandate and chose an altogether different course of action.  First He challenged the woman's accusers saying, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."  Then, after they all put down their stones and walked away, Jesus forgave the woman, saying, "Go your way, and from now on do not sin again."⁷

We ask, "What would Jesus do?"  In this story, it can be clearly seen that Jesus didn't do what "the Bible clearly says" to do.

The Bible does not speak in a singular voice.  In this story alone we are presented with two responses to a particular situation - the prescriptions of the Law and the example of Christ - and the difference between the two is a matter of life and death.  Though both responses are biblical, only one of the responses is Christlike.

Mechanically following written rules is easy, cognitively speaking.  Doing the hard work of actually discerning what it means to follow Jesus in any given situation requires a lot more brain power and a lot more faith.  Thankfully, we are not alone as we seek to follow Christ.  Jesus said to His disciples, "I have much more to say to you, but you can't handle it now.  However, when the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you in all truth."⁸  Evidently, not everything Jesus wanted to teach His followers can be found in the Gospels, but the Holy Spirit continues to teach us if we are open to the Spirit's leading.

The Psalmist said that God's word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.  The Gospel tells us that Jesus Christ is the Word of God who took on flesh and lived among us.⁹  He came not just to tell us how to live, but to show us how to live, and, if we follow Him, He will lead us to abundant life.


Notes:

1. John 8:12 (NRSV)
2. Psalm 119:105 (NRSV)
3. John 8:13
4. Brian Zahnd.  "Jesus Is What God Has to Say."  Ecclesia Houston podcast, 02/14/2016.
5. John 8:3-6a (NRSV)
6. Leviticus 20:10 (NRSV)
7. John 8:6b-11 (NRSV)
8. John 16:12-13 (CEB)
9. John 1:1-18

Christ with the Woman Taken in Adultery was painted by Il Guercino in the early 1600s.