Introspection: A Year of Gratitude

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

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A Year of Gratitude

Give thanks in every situation because this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (CEB)

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful

From "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx:A.M.

I've started making it a practice, at the end of each year, to look back over the past twelve months and to close out my year by writing one last introspection.  At the end of last year, I noted that I tend to lose sight of the good things in my life because I'm preoccupied with what's less than ideal.  With that in mind, I decided to make a New Year's resolution to become more grateful.  My first step, which turned out to be my only step, was to record, at the end of each day, at least one thing for which I was grateful.  My hope was that, if I practiced gratitude as if I was working out a muscle, I would become more inclined to be grateful and happier in general.

I am proud to say that, for the first time in my life, I actually kept a New Year's resolution!  Gratitude is something that must be practiced.  Because I started practicing gratitude at the beginning of the year and continued to do so throughout the year, I think is safe to say that I have become more grateful.  I think my daily practice has made a difference in my life, for I often take notice of things for which I should be grateful.  I have found my daily practice of gratitude so rewarding that I have decided to carry it into the new year, though my focus for the year will be something else.

Back in January, I noted a few lessons I had already learned about gratitude, and I continued to learn about gratitude throughout the year.  For example, at the beginning of the year, I was reminded of how important it is to be grateful for the ordinary things of life and to not take them for granted.  I have since learned that, in order to learn to be grateful for some things in my life, I have to get a taste of life without them.

One such thing I had taken for granted was a reliable car.  In the latter part of 2017, I began having a lot of problems with my car, and, because this particular model is a known lemon, I decided not to invest any more money into it.  In February, I had to buy a new car, and suddenly I was grateful to have a car I could trust to go when I pressed the gas pedal and to stop when I pressed the brake pedal.  I actually found myself grateful when I was stuck in traffic or stopped at a traffic light, because I didn't have to worry that my car might stall.  Getting a new car eliminated a lot of stress from my life.

St. Paul, in one of his letters, encourages his readers to "give thanks in every situation."  Several years ago, I heard Ed Dobson, who suffered from ALS, point out that Paul instructs us to give thanks in all things and not for all things.¹  In other words, there are things in life for which we should not be grateful, but we can still find reasons to be grateful in the midst of them.  Recently, I heard Diana Butler Bass point out that this nuance actually holds true in the original Greek text, meaning that it was not introduced by the letter's translation into English.²

Remembering these things has helped me to look on the proverbial bright side when things aren't going my way.  For example, when I recently picked up some breakfast at a restaurant, I was given the wrong order, and I did not know until it was too late to return it.  Though I was not grateful for the mistake, I was still grateful that I had the opportunity to taste something new.  I've also found that, though my alarm clock snoozes for nine minutes, I often snooze a lot longer.  Though I'm not grateful when I oversleep, I'm still grateful for the extra rest I get as a result.

On a more serious note, sometimes I go through bouts of depression, most of which result from feeling stuck in life.  I went through one such bout back in April, and, when I started taking St. John's Wort, an herbal supplement that increases levels of the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin, I started feeling better.  Again, though I was not grateful for the depression or for the situations that contributed to it, I was very grateful when I began to feel relief from it, and I was grateful for the things that give relief.

As I practiced gratitude daily, I learned a few things about transformational practices in general.  First, such practices require intentionality.  If I was to become more grateful by taking time to record the things for which I was grateful, then I needed to put some thought into what I wrote.  There were days when what I wrote was more of an afterthought.  Still, an afterthought is better than no thought at all, because transformation requires consistency, and just making the effort to write something helped the habit to solidify.  Lastly, transformational practices require grace.  There were days when I neglected to write anything, but, when I missed a day, I gave myself some grace and started again the next day.

I've learned that gratitude warrants action.  If one is grateful for something, then one should act as if one is grateful.  For example, if one is grateful for good weather, then one should find some way to enjoy it.  I have been working at my current job for over nine years, and I'm still grateful that I have this job, especially when I remember the job I had previously.  That said, I've recently realized that I have not been working as if I'm particularly grateful for my job.  I really need to remedy this.

My practice of daily gratitude revealed some other issues in my life.  Looking back, I realized that I was often grateful for things related to whatever was occupying my mind at the moment.  I had a rather large project at work this year, and I often noted that I was grateful whenever I made progress on it or whenever a demo of the project went well.  This perhaps reveals some unnecessary anxiety in my life.  Very rarely do things go as horribly as I fear.

I also noticed throughout the year that far too often I wrote that I was grateful that I made good choices, that I was productive at work, that I accomplished something, or that I managed not to screw something up.  In other words, I was grateful for reasons not to feel bad about myself.  I suspect that, if I want to be truly grateful, I need to get my mind off myself and what I do or don't do and to instead focus on the true gifts of life - things like quality time with family and friends, the kindness of other people, good food and drink, good music, good stories (be they fact, fiction, filmed, written, or spoken), the colors of a sunset, the singing of birds, cool breezes on muggy days, the smell of flowers, restful days, opportunities to learn something new, moments of inspiration, moments of clarity, and the occasional cup of coffee on the house.

My daily practice of gratitude unexpectedly shed light on my anxiety, my insecurity, and my feelings of inadequacy.  I suspect that such things might be at least part of what's keeping me stuck.  With that in mind, I've decided to focus on cultivating a sense of self-worth in the new year.

I think that maybe there are some intersections between gratitude and self-worth.  In July, a friend of mine referred to me as "a great friend" on Facebook.  When people say such things about me, I tend to recoil mentally because I don't feel that I deserve them.  Immediately the tapes begin playing in my head, repeating, "Not enough."  Around that same time, my grandmother said one evening, as I was leaving her house, that she was proud of me.  My first impulse was to say something snide, but I resisted that urge and simply thanked her.  When people offer me words of affirmation, I need to simply receive them with gratitude, trusting that they know what they're talking about and that they're not just "being nice."

I encourage you, the reader, to develop your own regular practice of gratitude, if you do not already have one.  As I noted previously, gratitude probably won't change what is wrong with your life, but it will help you to see that there is more to your life than what is wrong with it.  May you journey into the new year with gratitude and with courage, trusting that you are enough.


Notes:

1. Kent Dobson and Ed Dobson.  "Thanks: 2."  Mars Hill Bible Church, 11/17/2013.
2. Jon Scott and Diana Butler Bass.  "GRATEFUL TEASER with Dr. Diana Butler Bass."  The Holy Heretics Podcast, 11/02/2018.

The photograph of the sky at sunset was taken by me in the parking lot of a local shopping mall.

Christmas Perspective: Unlikely Messengers

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Unlikely Messengers

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.  Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for see - I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger."  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and on earth peace among those whom he favors!"

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us."  So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger.  When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them.

Luke 2:8-18 (NRSV)

He came down to earth from heaven

who is God and Lord of all,

and His shelter was a stable,

and His cradle was a stall:

with the poor, and meek, and lowly

lived on earth our Savior holy.

From "Once in Royal David's City" by Cecil Frances Alexander

"The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world," so begins Barbara Robinson's classic children's novel The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  The six Herdman children - Ralph, Imogene, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys - wreaked havoc in their town, doing awful things like burning down a tool shed with a stolen chemistry set, bringing their feral pet cat to show-and-tell, and blackmailing other students.  They lived above a garage, and their favorite pastime was banging the garage door up and down, trying to pin each other beneath it.  "We figured they were headed straight for hell, by way of the state penitentiary," the young narrator of the story reports.

A closer look reveals that poverty and absent parents were at the root of the Herdman children's behavioral problems.  Their father had apparently abandoned them, and their mother had to work two shifts at a shoe factory every day to make ends meet, leaving the children to raise themselves.  Their teachers were not helping matters, for they would keep promoting them to the next grade despite their poor performance, because they could not bear the thought of having more than one Herdman in the same class.

For all the students who had to put up with the Herdmans every day at school, church had been a refuge, until one Sunday morning when the Herdmans decided to pay a visit.  That day, the pastor announced the auditions for the yearly Christmas pageant.  One week later, the Herdman hellions were cast in all the lead roles - Mary, Joseph, the Angel of the Lord, and the three Wise Men - because, for one reason or another, none of the other children in the church auditioned.  When other parishioners started voicing their concerns about a Christmas pageant starring the Herdmans, the narrator's mother, who was stuck directing the pageant, declared, "I'm going to make this the very best Christmas pageant anybody ever saw, and I'm going to do it with the Herdmans too."

During what was supposed to be the first rehearsal, the narrator's mother ended up teaching on the Christmas story, because the Herdmans, who hadn't stepped into a church until recently, were unfamiliar with the very story they would be performing.  Their irreverent yet honest questions, which quite possibly revealed a spiritual hunger, forced the narrator's mother to think seriously about the story, which had become a little too familiar to her.  She began to see the good in the Herdman children, whom nearly all of the other parishioners had written off.  The Herdmans were outraged that there was no place for Jesus to be born besides a stable, and they were enraged that King Herod sought to kill Him.

Having just learned about the Christmas story, the Herdman children played their parts in the ways that came natural for them, but, instead of ruining the pageant as the church folk had feared, they really did make it the best Christmas pageant the church had ever seen.

According to the narrator, Imogene and Ralph, who played Mary and Joseph, entered the sanctuary looking confused and out of place like refugees, reminding the congregation that the real Holy Couple were far from home with nowhere to go.

Imogene burped the doll that represented the Christ Child before laying it in the manger, reminding the congregation that, in Christ, the Almighty Creator of the universe took on flesh and became a baby - a real baby who needed to be burped.

Gladys, who played the Angel of the Lord screamed, "Hey!  Unto you a child is born!" like it was "the best news in the world," reminding the congregation that the angel's message to the shepherds was indeed "the best news in the world."

Leroy, Claude, and Ollie, who played the Wise Men, pitched their pretend gold, frankincense, and myrrh and instead brought forward the ham from the food box that the church's charitable works committee had taken to the Herdman family, reminding the congregation that Christ deserves our best.

The church folk who were concerned about the Herdmans' participation in the Christmas pageant had treated the Christmas story like a toy that must be kept in mint condition in its original packaging, lest it depreciate in value.  When the Herdmans took the proverbial toy out of the box and started playing with it, the same church folk began to appreciate it in a whole new way.

The Herdman hellions became unlikely messengers of the birth of Christ.

When I was a child, my third grade teacher read this novel to my class.  When I had the opportunity to read this story two years ago, one thing that stood out to me was that the children's last name Herdman is very similar to the word shepherd.  Shepherds are, after all, herdsmen of sheep.

In the Gospel of Luke, we read that, when Jesus was born in a stable in Bethlehem, there were some shepherds nearby who were guarding their sheep during the night.  Suddenly, an angel appeared in their midst, and the glory of God shone around them.  Naturally, the shepherds were frightened out of their minds.  I imagine they thought that Judgment Day had come, at least for them, and that they did not expect to fare well, since they weren't exactly upstanding religious folk.  Instead of judgment, the angel brought them "good news of great joy for all the people" that their long awaited Messiah had been born.  The angel told them that they would find their newborn Savior lying in a manger in a stable in Bethlehem.

The shepherds ran into Bethlehem and found the Christ Child in the stable with His parents, and then they went out to spread the news of the birth of their Messiah to everyone who would listen.  These shepherds had been chosen by God to be the very first messengers to announce the birth of Christ to the people.

Like the Herdman children, the shepherds were the poor, unkempt, uncouth kind of people one probably would not want to see around the manger, but, like the Herdmans, they became unlikely messengers of the birth of Christ.  Throughout the biblical narrative, we can see that God has a tendency to choose unlikely messengers - the kind of messengers most people are all too ready to write off.  I suspect that God still likes to choose unlikely people to speak for God.

This Christmas season, may we consider the unlikely messengers in our midst whom we readily dismiss, and may we be willing to listen to what God might be saying to us through them.

But as far as I'm concerned, Mary is always going to look a lot like Imogene Herdman - sort of nervous and bewildered, but ready to cobber anyone who laid a hand on her baby.  And the Wise Men are always going to be Leroy and his brothers, bearing ham.

The copyright of the cover of the first edition of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is most likely owned by either author Barbara Robinson or publisher Harper & Row.  It is believed that its use to illustrate a blog post that discusses the same work qualifies as fair use.  The image was taken from the Wikipedia article about the work.

Advent Perspective: Be the Voice

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Be the Voice

A voice cries out:

"In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord,

make straight in the desert a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be lifted up,

and every mountain and hill be made low;

the uneven ground shall become level,

and the rough places a plain.

Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

and all people shall see it together,

for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."

Isaiah 40:3-5 (NRSV)

Go, tell it on the mountain

Over the hills and everywhere

Go, tell it on the mountain

That Jesus Christ is born

From "Go, Tell It on the Mountain,"

an African-American Spiritual

As I noted previously, during the season of Advent, churches read the words of ancient prophets that are thought to point to the Messiah, the leader who will bring liberation and peace to God's people.  Some of these prophecies point to the one who will prepare the way for the Messiah.  One prophet spoke of a voice that cried out, demanding that that a straight and level highway be constructed in the wilderness, so that the Lord may come to the people.

The Gospels identify this voice as John the Baptist.  On the day he was born, his father proclaimed that he would "be called the prophet of the Most High" and that he would "go before the Lord to prepare his ways."¹  John grew up to become an rather eccentric prophet, and many people journeyed to the wilderness to hear him speak.  He called the people to change their ways, and he gave them the opportunity to undergo the ritual of baptism as a sign of their penitence.  John gave the people practical instructions for living differently.  He encouraged those in authority not to abuse their power, and he encouraged those with excess to share with those in need.²

When people began to wonder if John was their long awaited Messiah, he spoke of someone yet to come who was greater than he.³  Christians believe that the One of whom John spoke was Jesus.

John the Baptist was not the only voice who was sent to prepare the way for Jesus.  According to the Gospel of Luke, Jesus once sent out as many as seventy-two messengers in pairs to all of the places He was planning to visit.  He instructed these messengers to cure people who were sick in the places they visited and to proclaim to all who would hear, "The kingdom of God has come near to you."⁴

Perhaps it is the task of everyone who follows Jesus to be a voice who prepares the way for Him by challenging people to do what is right, starting with the person in the mirror, by being an agent of healing, and by bearing good news to all who will hear.  During Advent, we look back to Christ's coming to earth as an infant two thousand years ago, and we look forward to the return of Christ at the end of this age.  I think it is important that, as we remember the past and future actions of God in Christ, we do not forget that God is always at work.  One of the morning prayers I pray acknowledges that "all day long [God] is working for good in the world."⁵

This Advent, as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ two thousand years ago, may we not forget that God is at work today.  As we remember the voice who prepared the way in the wilderness, may we be voices who prepare the way wherever we find ourselves.


Notes:

1. Luke 1:76 (NRSV)
2. Luke 3:1-14
3. Luke 3:15-17
4. Luke 10:1-9 (NRSV)
5. This prayer is part of "An Order for Morning Praise and Prayer" in the United Methodist Book of Worship.

St. John the Baptist Preaching was painted by Mattia Preti in the 17th century.

Advent Perspective: Wolves and Lambs

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Wolves and Lambs

The wolf will live with the lamb,

and the leopard will lie down with the young goat;

the calf and the young lion will feed together,

and a little child will lead them.

The cow and the bear will graze.

Their young will lie down together,

and a lion will eat straw like an ox.

A nursing child will play over the snake's hole;

toddlers will reach right over the serpent's den.

They won't harm or destroy anywhere on my holy mountain.

The earth will surely be filled with the knowledge of the Lord,

just as the water covers the sea.

Isaiah 11:6-9 (CEB)

Hark! The herald angels sing

"Glory to the new-born King!

Peace on earth, and mercy mild,

God and sinners reconciled"

From "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!"

by Charles Wesley and George Whitefield

Once again, Advent is upon us.  This is the season on the Christian calendar in which we prepare ourselves to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on Christmas.  During this time, churches typically read the words of ancient prophets that are believed to point to the coming of the Messiah, the leader who would be anointed by God to liberate God's people from oppression and usher in a long awaited age of peace.

One such prophecy that has been on my mind recently is a proclamation by the prophet Isaiah, which describes life in the messianic age of peace.  Isaiah describes a kingdom where wolves live with lambs, where leopards rest with young goats, where calves and lions eat together, where cows and bears graze together, where lions eat straw with oxen, and where infants and toddlers play with snakes.  The thread running throughout Isaiah's vision is that creatures that are known to be predators peacefully coexist with the creatures that tend to be their prey.  Sometimes the place of peace described by Isaiah is called the Peaceable Kingdom.

I do not think that the prophet is speaking about literal animals that change their instincts.  Instead, I believe he is speaking about human beings who change their ways.  He is describing a kingdom in which people who were once exploited and victimized live together in peace with the people who once mistreated them.

For such a vision to become a reality, at least two things are necessary, both of which were promoted by Jesus and His contemporaries.

Firstly, a kingdom in which "wolves" and "lambs" can live together in peace requires penitence on the part of the "wolves."  Make no mistake, the Peaceable Kingdom Isaiah describes is not a fox-guarded henhouse.  The predatory creatures in the prophet's vision have undergone a fundamental change.  "A lion," for example, "will eat straw like an ox."  In other words, carnivores have become herbivores, so that they no longer "harm or destroy" other creatures.  If the "wolves" do not change their ways, the "lambs" will be in danger around them, and, if the "wolves" do not demonstrate a commitment to change, the "lambs" will not feel safe around them.

John the Baptist, the prophet who preceded Jesus, commanded the "wolves" who came to him in the wilderness to "bear fruits worthy of repentance" - in other words, to demonstrate a commitment to change.  He instructed everyone in the crowd to share their excess with people who did not have enough.  He instructed the tax collectors in the crowd to collect no more than they were required to collect, and he instructed the Roman soldiers in the crowd not to abuse their authority for their own gain.¹

Secondly, a peaceable kingdom of "wolves" and "lambs" requires forgiveness on the part of the "lambs."  Unless the "lambs" forgive, they will never associate with the "wolves," and they will not get to participate in the kingdom.  Jesus instructed the people who came to Him to be open to reconciliation with those who have wronged them, saying, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you."²  He modeled forgiveness most starkly on the cross, where He prayed for His abusers, saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."³

Please note that I am not suggesting that people who have been abused leave themselves open to continued abuse.  I am instead suggesting that they work through their pain and their trauma and somehow find it in their hearts to forgive their abusers so that, in the event that their abusers truly repent, reconciliation may be possible.

Perhaps it seems as if I am making a distinction between two kinds of people and recommending a different course of action for each.  I would actually suggest that all of us need to practice both penitence and forgiveness, for a wolf and a lamb lives within each of us.  All of us have the potential to be abused by others, and all of us have the capacity to abuse others.  I would suggest that it is even possible for a person to be simultaneously one person's "wolf" and another person's "lamb."  Russian historian Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn writes, "If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.  But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.  And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"

Advent is a season of preparation.  Not only do we prepare ourselves to celebrate the birth of our Savior on Christmas, we also prepare ourselves for the Kingdom we pray that He brings.  May we practice both penitence and forgiveness as part of our preparation this season.


Notes:

1. Luke 3:7-14 (NRSV)
2. Luke 6:27-28 (NRSV)
3. Luke 23:34 (NRSV)

Peaceable Kingdom of the Branch was painted by Edward Hicks in the early 1800s.