Introspection: New Year's Eve 2020

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New Year's Eve 2020

So I perceived that there was nothing better for human beings but to enjoy what they do because that’s what they’re allotted in life.  Who, really, is able to see what will happen in the future?

Ecclesiastes 3:22 (CEB)

I close my eyes
Only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity

From "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas

I've always enjoyed the end of the year.  Having taken some time to look back on the past year, I tune in to a certain New Year's Eve special to watch the ball drop at Times Square at midnight, and then I toast in the new year.  I typically feel a sense of optimism about the year ahead, and I wonder if maybe something good is going to happen in my life in the months ahead.

I'm feeling a bit differently at the end of this year.  2020 has been a bad year for me, as it has been for many people, so I haven't really felt like looking back on it.  Thanks to the pandemic, a lot of the things I once enjoyed - from meeting with friends for coffee to going contra dancing on weekends - are no longer a part of my life.  Two months ago, I suddenly lost my father.  Watching current events unfold is leaving me with less and less faith in humanity.  All that said, I'm a bit wary of being optimistic right now, as I don't really expect things to get better anytime soon.  I'm still planning to watch the ball drop tonight, not so much to welcome the new year but moreso to make sure that the old year comes to an end.

Typically I choose a focus for the new year.  In years past, I focused on gratitude and self-worth.  For this year, I had planned to focus on courage, but, after everything that has happened, I feel as thought I'm actually less courageous than I was one year ago.  My only goal for 2021 is to get the COVID-19 vaccine as soon as it's available to me and then to hope that life soon returns to some semblance of normal - if there is even such a thing anymore.

I suppose that, if there is any lesson to be learned from the past year, it is to never take anything for granted.  The routines we find painfully boring just might become the routines we miss.  The simple pleasures we enjoy now might not be around for us to enjoy in the near future.  And the people we assume will be with us for years to come, could very well leave us sooner than we think.  It is important that we are grateful for what we have and that we appreciate it fully, because all of it can vaporize in an instant.

I suspect that most of us lost something in 2020.  Some of us lost loved ones; others lost jobs; many of us missed out on plans; and some of us simply lost our routines.  However you fared in the past year, dear reader, may you be grateful for what you still have, and may the new year be better for all of us.


The photograph featured in this introspection was taken by Circe Denyer and was released to the public domain.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.