Introspection: Do Something!

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Do Something!

I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 (NRSV)

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear

From "The Fear" by Lily Allen

I would like to share more introspective writing this year, but, as I noted previously, I don't really feel like I have anything especially good to share about my life at this time.  Furthermore, as I also noted previously, if I have grown weary of the disappointment, bitterness, and self-pity that tends to infect my personal writing, then I cannot help but think that you would not want to read it either.

All that said, lately I've started to wonder if those of you who have been reading my introspective posts for a while want to ask me, "If there's so much you don't like about your life, then why don't you just freakin' do something about it?"

It's a good question.  So why don't I just freakin' do something?

There's a simple answer: fear.

If I don't like my job as a computer programmer, then why don't I quit my job, go back to school, and become a teacher, which is what I think I really want to be?

The truth is that I'm afraid of making a big mistake.  Though I don't love my job, I don't hate it either - at least I don't hate it every day.  Even on the days I do hate my job, I still take pride in the fact that, because I work at a local technical college, I am using my programming skills to make a positive contribution to my community.  Also, I have a lot of benefits beyond a monthly paycheck, including health insurance, a lot of vacation time, and the possibility of retiring with a pension.  I fell into a pretty sweet deal, and I'm afraid of giving it all up for something I don't even know I'll find more fulfilling.

I'm also afraid of getting in over my head.  I didn't especially enjoy writing papers when I was in college, and I have no idea how I would ever write a master's thesis, much less a doctoral dissertation.  Also, though I've taught some ten-hour classes for my church district, I have no idea how I would ever plan and teach a semester-long class.

If I'm lonely, then why don't I reactivate my dating profile and start swiping right?

The truth is that I'm afraid of rejection.  I'm afraid that, if I start swiping right, no one will swipe right on me.  I'm afraid that, if someone, for some reason, does actually swipe right on me, she will inevitably get to know me too well and realize she can do a lot better.  Maybe, deep down, I'm also afraid of change.  Maybe I'm afraid that I really will meet someone who loves me and accepts me, that we'll actually hit it off, and that I'll eventually find myself in a life that is nothing like the crappy yet comfortably predictable life I've always known.

There is a lot I don't like about my life, but I'm hesitant to do anything about it because I'm afraid.  Unfortunately, there is no figurative silver bullet that kills fear.  The only way to defeat this monster is to confront it head-on and to overcome it.

There is an old nursery rhyme about some children who are "going on a bear hunt."  As the young hunters look for bears, they encounter a series of obstacles in their path, including tall grass, a river, and finally a dark bear cave.  Whenever they meet an obstacle, they realize that they "can't go over it," that they "can't go under it," that they "can't go around it," but that they "got to go through it."¹  All these things are especially true about the obstacle of fear.

I have a personality that makes me a lot more adept at longing for the things I think I want in life than actually working for them.  If I want a better life, then I will have to take action, and, to take action, I will have to overcome my fear.  I can't go over it.  I can't go under it.  I can't go around it.  I can't shoot it from a distance with a magic bullet.  I will have to go through it.


Notes:

1. https://allnurseryrhymes.com/going-on-a-bear-hunt/

The photograph of the animal cave is used courtesy of PickPic.com and is understood to be public domain.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Perspective: Faith Is...

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Faith Is...
(a Reflection on Hebrews 11:1-12:2)

So then, with endurance, let's also run the race that is laid out in front of us, since we have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us.  Let's throw off any extra baggage, get rid of the sin that trips us up, and fix our eyes on Jesus, faith's pioneer and perfecter.

Hebrews 12:1-2a (CEB)

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

From "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless

Faith is, in the words of one thinker, "the reality of what we hope for" and "the proof of what we don't see."¹

Faith is trusting that there are realities beyond our perception.

Faith is living in such a way that our lives continue to speak long after we die.

Faith is trusting that what we do actually matters.

Faith is going against the grain of the world around us.

Faith is taking a journey into the unknown.

Faith is working for something greater than ourselves, something that might not be completed in our lifetimes.

Faith is considering that more is possible that what we have been led to believe.

Faith is not being content with the world as it is but daring to dream of a better world.

Faith is trusting that God will provide a way for us when what is required of us seems impossible.

Faith is believing that there is a bright future.

Faith is doing what is right even when it is not legal.

Faith is choosing a more difficult life, perhaps one lived in solidarity with the suffering.

Faith is refusing to be enslaved to the anger of other people.

Faith is listening for God's call and acting upon it.

Faith is trusting God to provide a way for us where there is none.

Faith is showing up where God has called us and trusting God to help us succeed.

Faith is refusing to conform to the surrounding culture.

Faith is doing things we once thought were impossible.

Faith is never giving up.

Faith is costly at times.

Faith is taking the baton handed to us and running in a race that started long before we were born and will continue long after we're gone.

Notes:

1. Hebrews 11:1 (CEB)

The photograph featured in this perspective is used courtesy of FreeImages.com.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.