Introspection: '13

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

'13

I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty.  In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:12-13 (NRSV)

This world can turn me down

But I won't turn away

And I won't duck and run

'Cause I'm not built that way

When everything is gone

There is nothing there to fear

This world cannot bring me down

No, 'cause I'm already here

From "Duck and Run" by 3 Doors Down

A long time ago, I heard that hotels do not have thirteenth floors.  Of course, any hotel that has more than twelve floors has a thirteenth floor, because, after all, thirteen follows twelve numerically.  What I mean is that, when the floors are numbered, the number 13 is skipped: what would normally be called the thirteenth floor is called the fourteenth floor.  When I first heard this little factoid, I remember thinking it was rather silly and hard to believe.  A few months ago, I spent a few days in a hotel.  As I rode the elevator up to my room, I noticed the labeling on the elevator buttons.  Sure enough, there was a button for the twelfth floor and a button for the fourteenth floor, but there was no button for a thirteenth floor.

Triskaidekaphobia is the fancy word for the fear of the number 13.  The number 13 has been long associated with bad luck and misfortune.  The thirteenth day of the month, particularly if it falls on a Friday, is thought to be an unlucky day.  Hotel owners skip the number 13 when numbering the floors of their hotels so that superstitious people won't have any aversion to staying on the floor directly above the twelfth.  As someone who is mathematically minded and also a little bit obsessive compulsive, I think it is stupid and downright wrong to skip numbers in such a way.

After this past year, though, I wonder if it wouldn't be a bad idea to also skip years that end in 13 as well.  I haven't developed a fear of the number 13, but, for me, this year really lived up to its name.  If you've read my introspections this year, you know that this hasn't really been a very happy year for me.  A number of unfortunate things have happened to me this year.

I started the year with the flu, and I wasn't able to celebrate New Year's Eve with my friends.

I had to break up with a woman I wasn't actually dating.  I came to the realization that rejecting someone else's romantic advances can actually be more painful than being rejected.¹

My soul began to collapse under the weight of the expectations other people had for me and under the weight of the guilt I bore for not meeting them.  In the process, I had some rather uncomfortable insights about the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  I found myself envying people who don't give a damn and simply enjoy their lives.²

I accepted that I couldn't please everyone and stopped trying.³  I let people down, and the people I let down were a lot more forgiving than I thought they should have been.

I lost respect for people I once admired.  In the process, I had to confront things about myself I had tried really hard not to see.  I realized, rather painfully, that I am actually not any better than people I have judged and condemned.⁴

As I began to consider writing a memoir, I was reminded once again that I don't have a good stopping point.  A lot of the things I thought were resolved in my life seem to have come unraveled, and some of the healing I thought I found in my life now seems to be undone.⁵

I looked forward to a number of events this year that turned out to be letdowns, and I missed out on an education opportunity I needed to complete one of my goals.

I got the flu again less than a week before Christmas.  Though I recovered before Christmas, I most likely gave it to a friend of mine, and he was unable to celebrate Christmas with his family and friends.⁶

I feel less motivated than I did last year.

It is ironic that my New Year's resolution for 2013 was to approach the year with a sense of optimism.  This one went out the window rather quickly.

Before I continue, I just want to say that I am well aware of my tendency to be self-absorbed and that I realize there are a lot of people who have had a much worse year than I have.  I realize that there are plenty of people out there who would be happy to compare their problems to mine and to tell me how their lives are so much worse than mine.  I realize that I have described a bunch of "first world problems" and that I really have no right to complain because, in the midst of the crappiness of the past year, I have not had to go without food, water, clothing, or shelter.  I realize all of these things, but it does not change the fact that I have been through a lot of pain this past year.

In the midst of the pain, I have had a lot to celebrate this year as well.

I had the opportunity to plan and led a five-week Bible study on my own.⁷

I was invited to go on a spiritual journey.

I had the opportunity to write and deliver six sermons - a personal record - and to speak at two churches besides my home church.

I made some new friends this year, and I was reminded that there are a lot of people in my life who love me, believe in me, and care about me.⁸

I gained a new understanding of grace, a greater realization of my own need for grace, and a greater appreciation for the grace God abundantly gives me.  2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is enough for you..." - has become my favorite Bible verse.  I'm considering getting it tattooed on my forearm for practical reasons: I will likely need to be reminded of it at least one hundred times per day.⁹

I watched my church take a step in a more missional direction when we decided to lend our parsonage to local homelessness ministry so that it may be used as transitional housing.¹⁰

I watched a number of my friends get married. Also, a number of my friends had children.

I celebrated my fourth anniversary at my current job.  I have now been at this job more than twice the length of time I was at my previous job - the job that brought me a lot of shame in the past.  I received a promotion this year, and I also learned that I was nominated for a standards of behavior award.

Life is like a music player on shuffle: in the same way that an anguished song might immediately follow a happy song, the happy times and painful times of our lives bump against each other.  Life has ups and downs, so we have to learn to take the good with the bad.

I imagine that St. Paul wasn't having a very good year when he wrote his letter to the Philippian church.  He was in jail, yet he wrote a surprisingly joyful letter.  Toward the end of the letter, he writes, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  I once heard this verse called the "Superman verse" because many people believe that it means, "I can do anything because Christ is on my side."  For example, I once heard a pop singer quote this verse while she was accepting a major award.

Paul, in his letter, spends some time reflecting on his own life, looking back on the good times and the bad times.  When Paul says, "I can do all things," I believe that he actually means, "I can endure all things."¹¹  Paul has been through times of poverty and times of plenty, and he realizes that it is Christ who has sustained him through it all.  Though he now lays his head in a jail cell, he continues to draw strength from his faith in Christ.  If I were to put what Paul says into my own words, I would say, "I can endure whatever life throws at me, because Christ gives me strength."

I endured some lousy stuff this past year, and, though I feel somewhat worse for wear, I hold on to the hope that what didn't kill me will somehow make me stronger in the long run.¹²

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, "Nothing endures but change."  In other words, "The only constant is change."¹³  Some years are good, and some years are bad, but what they all have in common is the fact that they all inevitably come to an end.  Whether you are currently going through a good time or a bad time, you can always draw strength from the One who is eternal.

'13, I bid you a not-so-fond adieu.  Goodbye and good riddance.

'14, I outlived your predecessor, and, whether you prove to be good or bad, I intend to outlive you as well.  Bring it on!


Notes:

1. See my introspection "Love and Potato Salad."
2. See my introspection "Why I Envy the Prodigal Son."
3. See my introspection "I Can't Do It (and That's Alright)."
4. See my introspection "Amazing(ly) (Painful) Grace."
5. See my introspection "Waiting for Aldersgate."
6. Before you say anything, yes, I plan to get a flu shot this year.
7. Two of my perspectives this year came from this study.  See "Doubting with Anticipation" and "Mirror, Mirror in the Words."
8. See my introspection "Hands to Grab."
9. See my sermon "One Thing."
10. GAIHN.org
11. See Philippians 4:13 in the Common English Bible.
12. To be completely honest, some of this started in 2012, but I bore the brunt of it in 2013.
13. Wikiquote: Heraclitus

The photograph of the pocket watch was taken by Isabelle Grosjean and is used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.

Perspective: Christmas Is for the Poor

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Christmas Is for the Poor

Don't be afraid!  Listen!  I bring good news, news of great joy, news that will affect all people everywhere.  Today, in the city of David, a Liberator has been born for you!  He is the promised Anointed One, the Supreme Authority!  You will know you have found Him when you see a baby, wrapped in a blanket, lying in a feeding trough.

Luke 2:10-12 (The Voice)

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us"

From "Give Thanks" by Henry Smith

If you have been reading my blog for the past few years, you have probably noticed that when I tell the Christmas story, I prefer to tell it as unromantic and undignified as possible.  I simply think that the typical nativity scene - consisting of a glowing infant, a prayerful and pious Mary and Joseph, some perfectly groomed shepherds, and some well behaved animals - simply doesn't do the story justice.

The Christmas story is a story about a child who was conceived under suspicious circumstances, a child whose teenage parents ended up delivering Him in a barn because they had nowhere else to go.  Though Mary and Joseph knew that Jesus' entry into this world was miraculous, anyone else would have considered them a couple of foolish young people who made a holy mess out of their lives - pun intended.¹

Lest you think I am simply trying to defame the Christmas story, the very inauspicious way in which the Son of God came into the world makes a powerful statement about God's love.  According to one author, "The very first statement Jesus ever voiced about His concern for the poor, oppressed, marginalized people was when he cried out as one of them - eyes shut tight, mouth open wide, wailing, kicking...  It was one of the most profound acts of solidarity with the poor He could make."²  Jesus was born in a stable as a poor child, to earthly parents whom most onlookers would consider to have poor judgment.

When Jesus grew up and began His ministry, He demonstrated a great concern for the poor.  He challenged those with wealth to share with those who were in need.  Jesus even said that whenever a person feeds someone who is hungry, gives water to someone who is thirsty, welcomes someone who is far from home, gives clothing to the destitute, nurses someone who is sick, or visits someone who is incarcerated, it is just as if he or she had done it for Jesus Himself.³  Jesus personally identified with the poor.

Of course, the materially poor were not the only poor people about whom Jesus was concerned.  Jesus once said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."⁴  The "poor in spirit" are sometimes understood to be the hopeless or the humble,⁵ but I wonder if the "poor in spirit" might also include the spiritually poor or, as some might say, morally bankrupt.  Jesus sat down for dinner with thieving tax collectors who were considered traitors to their own people.  He freely associated with women who had bad reputations.  He even invited a tax collector and a terrorist to join his closest followers.⁶

Jesus used some harsh words on occasion, but they weren't directed toward the tax collectors or prostitutes - those we would consider morally bankrupt.  Tripp Fuller of Homebrewed Christianity recently pointed out that the only people Jesus really seemed to condemn were religious bigots and rich people who didn't help others.⁷  I wonder of Jesus reserved his harshest critique for people who forgot that they were poor.

We value independence and self-reliance in our society, but it is important to remember that we are all completely dependent on God for all our needs.  All good things, including basic necessities, ultimately come from God.  Even if you have earned everything you own by the sweat of your brow, remember that God gave you your ability to sweat.  Not only are we dependent on God's provision, we are also dependent on God's grace.  We all "fall short," "miss the mark," and screw up on a daily basis, and God continually forgives us and befriends us.

I once heard Rob Bell say that in the Church we are all like beggars who found some bread and that, when we share our faith with others, it is as if we are showing other beggars where to find that bread for themselves.

Christmas is for the poor,

and we are all poor.

All we have comes from God, so we must be willing to share what we have in excess with those who do not have enough.  Over the last few weeks, as I have been trying to get the people around me to remember the poor during the Christmas season, I was reminded twice that, though it is good to remember the needy at Christmas, we must not forget those in need during the rest of the year.  Though the Christmas season occurs at the end of the annual calendar, it occurs at the beginning of the Church calendar,⁸ so the good deeds we do at Christmas should set the tone for what we do during the rest of the year.

As you celebrate Christmas with your family and friends, may you not forget those in need - those in need of food and shelter, and those in need of grace.  Also, may you not forget everything that God has done for you.

Merry Christmas!


Notes:

1. To read my own personal telling of the Christmas story, see my perspective "The Christmas Scandal."
2. Scott A. Bessenecker.  The New Friars: The Emerging Movement Serving the World's Poor.  2006, InterVarsity.  pp. 59-60
   Quoted in Advent Conspiracy.  2009, Zondervan.  pp 86-87
3. Matthew 25:34-36
4. Matthew 5:3 (NRSV)
5. See Matthew 5:3 in the Amplified Bible, the Message, and the Common English Bible.
6. Two of Jesus' disciples were Simon the Zealot and Matthew the Tax Collector.  See Matthew 10:1-4.
7. Tripp Fuller and Daniel Kirk.  "Kirk Have I Loved But Tripp?"  Homebrewed Christianity Podcast.  09/26/2013.
8. For a brief lesson on the Church Calendar, see my sermon "Not of This World."

The photograph featured in this perspective is public domain.

Introspection: The Humbug in My Ear

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

The (Hum)Bug in My Ear

And Mary said,

"My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for He has looked with favor on the lowliness of His servant."

Luke 1:46-48a (NRSV)

As children we believed

The grandest sight to see

Was something lovely

Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows

That packages and bows

Can never heal

A hurting human soul

From "My Grownup Christmas List" by Linda Thompson

As people begin to adorn their houses and places of business with trees, wreaths, and garland and as radio stations begin to play familiar seasonal songs over and over again, we can see that Christmas is fast approaching us.  In the midst of this Christmas season, I find myself with a proverbial pebble in my shoe.  It is the same feeling I have experienced every Christmas for the past few years.  Perhaps it could be said that I have a humbug in my ear.

A few years ago, shortly after Christmas, I got into a very heated argument with someone who was angry about a rather unpleasant encounter with someone who wished him "Happy Holidays!" as opposed to a "Merry Christmas!"¹  Of course, this person wasn't alone in his anger.  Many Christians are upset by this trend, for they feel as though people are trying to remove Christ from the very holiday that was meant to celebrate His birth.  I cannot help but feel as though such Christians are being petty and even hypocritical.  At the risk of being judgmental, I suspect that many of them heard the offensive greeting while they were out buying Christmas gifts for people who don't really need anything, at a retail chain that most likely benefits from sweatshop labor and other unethical practices.

Christians are so concerned about some supposed "war on Christmas," but do our own Christmas observances truly magnify the Lord?  According to the authors of the book Advent Conspiracy, "the average American... spends one thousand dollars on Christmas gifts."²  Furthermore, "the amount of money we spend on Christmas in America is close to forty-five times the amount of money it would take to supply the entire world with clean water."³  If this high and holy time of the year has been reduced to a godless orgy of materialism - even among Christians - then who cares what people call it?  Sometimes I wonder if Christ would even want His name attached to this holiday anymore.

Greeting people with a "Merry Christmas!" is the least we can do to honor Christ this season,

the very least.

After Mary hears that she, a poor, unwed teenager, will give birth to the Son of God, she visits her cousin Elizabeth.  During the visit, Mary breaks into song.  This song, which is both worshipful and prophetic, is sometimes called the Magnificat, because Mary magnifies - or glorifies - God.  In this song, she sings,

He has shown strength with His arm;

He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.

He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,

and lifted up the lowly;

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and sent the rich away empty.⁴

Mary's song foreshadows the Kingdom of God, the upside-down Kingdom that her son Jesus will usher in,

a Kingdom where "the last will be first, and the first will be last,"⁵

a Kingdom where the most important people are servants,⁶

a Kingdom whose King rides into town not on a white horse, but on a humble donkey,⁷

a Kingdom that is "not of this world."⁸

I live in a part of America often called the "Bible Belt."  In my area, when people say that there is a church on every street corner, they are only exaggerating slightly.  Christianity is practically a part of the culture in my neck of the woods.  I do not think that this is necessarily a good thing, though.  Often when the Church becomes integrated with the culture, the world around it does not become more Christian; instead, the Church becomes more worldly.  The radical message of the Kingdom of God becomes hijacked, watered-down, and distorted.

Mary's song reminds us that the Church is called to be countercultural and not a part of the culture.  On this same note, St. Paul writes, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed..."⁹  If we as Christians are called to be different from the world around us, then why do we expect the world to conform to our standards?  For that matter, if we are called to be countercultural, then why does our Christmas celebration look like that of the materialistic culture around us?

St. James writes that true religion is "to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."¹⁰  The poor, the sick, the disabled, and the marginalized seem to hold a very special place in Jesus' heart.  In fact Jesus says that whatever we do for them - "the least of these" - we have done for Him.¹¹  Christ loved them so much that He came into the world among them.  Consider the very inauspicious way in which He was born.  His earthly parents delivered him in a dirty barn far from home like a couple of teenage runaways.  An onlooker might say to himself, "What a trainwreck!  That kid doesn't have a chance.  He'll probably grow up to become a convicted criminal."

If we truly want to honor Christ at Christmastime, then we must not forget the needy and vulnerable people among us.

If you think I'm being judgmental, please realize that I am judging myself as well.  I have been very materialistic in my own life.  When I was a child, all I cared about during the holidays was getting stuff on Christmas morning.  I used to have trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve: I would lie awake in anticipation of the presents I would open the next day.  Celebrating the birth of Christ was no more than an afterthought to me.  I look back at myself and shake my head in disgust at my childish materialism.  Even now, I still find myself overly concerned about what gifts to buy people for Christmas. 

In the past few years, I have tried to "be the change" I would like to see.  I still give my family members material gifts, but I spend less than I used to, and, in addition, I make it a point to give money to charities in their honor.  I also try to buy gifts at stores like Ten Thousand Villages, which buys handicrafts from artisans in developing countries for a fair price.¹²

If we truly want to "keep Christ in Christmas," then we need to do more than to simply offer Christ lip service by wishing people "Merry Christmas."  We must stand out as a beacon of light amid the dark materialism that runs rampant this time of year.  We must remember "the least of these," for Christ - our Savior and King - came into the world and lived His earthly life among them.


Notes:

1. This argument got really ugly, and, to be honest, I never really got over it, as evidenced by the fact that I keep blogging about this subject.
2. Rick McKinley, Chris Seay, and Greg Holder.  Advent Conspiracy.  2009, Zondervan.  p. 51
3. Ibid., p. 13
4. Luke 1:51-53 (NRSV)
5. Matthew 20:16
6. Matthew 20:26
7. Zechariah 9:9
8. John 18:36
9. Romans 12:2 (NRSV)
10. James 1:27 (NRSV)
11. Matthew 25:35-40
12. www.tenthousandvillages.com

The photograph featured in this introspection is public domain.

Perspective: Burning Up Our Excuses

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Burning Up Our Excuses

The plea of Israel's children has come before Me, and I have observed the cruel treatment they have suffered by Egyptian hands.  So go.  I'm sending you back to Egypt as My messenger to the Pharaoh.  I want you to gather My people - the children of Israel - and bring them out of Egypt.

Exodus 3:9-10 (The Voice)

So, if You say move

It's time for me to follow through

And do what I was made to do

And show them who You are

From "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson

A man named Jacob once traveled with his family to the land of Egypt to buy food during a famine.  Generations later, the descendants of Jacob, the Israelites, found themselves enslaved in the same land where their ancestors found refuge.  Through a strange series of events, an Israelite child named Moses grew up in the household of the Pharaoh.  One day, Moses witnessed an Egyptian slave driver abusing an Israelite, and, enraged, he killed the slave driver.  Moses fled to the land of Midian where he started a family and worked as a shepherd for his father-in-law.¹

Meanwhile, God took notice of the suffering of the Israelites and decided to take action.

One day, Moses was out tending his flock when he noticed a bush that was burning but, oddly, wasn't burning up.  When he stopped to look at the burning bush, God called out to him and told him that he had been chosen for a special mission.  Moses would return to Egypt, confront the Pharaoh, demand that the Israelites be released from their bondage, and lead the Israelites through the wilderness into the Promised Land.²

At this point in the story, Moses starts making objections and excuses.  Interestingly, these excuses parallel some of the same excuses you and I might use from time to time.

Excuse #1
"I am nobody."

Reluctant and insecure, Moses asked God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"  God replied, "I will be with you."

Sometimes, like Moses, we find ourselves stopped in our tracks by feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.  Sometimes, we might even feel like a nobody.  One writer has called low self esteem "Satan's deadliest weapon."³  Low self esteem keeps us from pursuing our dreams and keeps us from doing the great things God calls us to do.  The truth is that we are not nobodies, for we are all beloved children of God.  A person cannot be any more important than that.  God wouldn't put dreams in our hearts or call us to do great things if God didn't believe in us.  As a loving parent, God promises to be with us every step of the way.

Excuse #2
"What if...?"

Moses then began to consider all the different contingencies he might face upon returning to Egypt, and he began to ask himself, "What if...?"  He asked God, "If I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?"  God gave Moses two answers to his question.  The first name, Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh, is usually translated into English as "I AM WHO I AM."  The second name is transliterated into English as YHWH.  This name is usually represented with the word "LORD" in English Bibles.  The Jewish people hold this name with the highest respect, refusing even to attempt to say it.

Typically, Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh is translated "I AM WHO I AM" or "I AM THAT I AM."  Some will say that it actually means "I WILL BE WHATSOEVER I WILL BE."  Theologian Tony Jones argues that the closest translation is actually "I WILL BE WHAT I HAVE YET TO BECOME."⁴  There is also a lot of debate about what the name YHWH means and how to pronounce it.  Sometimes people add vowel sounds and pronounce it "Yahweh."  This name is believed by some to be derivative of the Hebrew word ehyeh, which means "to be."⁵

So what does all of this theology have to do with "What if...?"

Ultimately, God's answers to Moses' question would only serve to raise more questions.  Thousands of years after the story was put into writing, these names still leave people mystified.  My point is that there is always another contingency to consider.  Moses' next question very well could have been, "What if the Israelites ask me what Your names mean?"  I wonder if maybe God's answers were, in part, meant to get Moses' mind off of the question entirely.  Notice that both of these names of God are related to the verb to be.  Maybe we don't really need to know God's name or what God's name means.  Maybe we only need to know that God is.

Sometimes we hesitate in fear that something might come up for which we are not ready, but when we start asking "What if...?" we could potentially go on forever.  If we try, we can always find another "What if...?" to consider.  It's always good to be prepared, but the truth is that we cannot possibly prepare for everything that will come our way.  When the unexpected arises, all we can do is to trust God and to do the best we can.  Maybe we don't need an answer for every "What if...?"  Maybe all we really need is faith.

Excuse #3
"I might fail."

Moses then asked God what he should do if the Israelites wouldn't believe him.  God told Moses to throw his staff onto the ground, and, when Moses threw his staff, to his shock, it transformed into a snake.  God then told Moses to grab the snake by the tail, and, when Moses grabbed the snake, it immediately became a staff once again.  God then told Moses to put his hand into his cloak and then to pull it back out.  When Moses pulled his hand out of his cloak, he saw that it had become white as if he had a skin disease.  When Moses repeated the process, his hand was restored to normal.

God instructed Moses to perform these two miracles for the Israelites as proof that God had indeed sent him.  God then gave Moses a third miracle to perform if the first two weren't convincing enough.  God instructed Moses to take a cup of water from the Nile and then pour it out on the ground.  If he did this, the water would become blood.

Sometimes, like Moses, we fear failure or rejection.  I don't like to make promises for God, so I will not tell you that God will give you miracles to perform in the same way that God gave Moses miracles.  Still, I believe that sometimes miracles actually do happen, so I also will not tell you that God won't give you miracles to perform.  What I will tell you is that you have no idea what incredible things might happen unless you step out in faith.  Sometimes we simply have to do what we are called to do, give it all we've got, and then place the outcome into God's hands.⁶

Excuse #4
"I can't..."

Moses then said, "O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."  Basically, he eloquently told God what a bad speaker he was.⁷  God then reminded him that every person's abilities ultimately come from God and then promised to give Moses the words to speak when he confronted the Pharaoh.

Sometimes we feel as though we are not cut out to do what we feel called to do.  Sometimes these feelings aren't even based in reality.  As much as I dislike Christian clichés, there is one I think is helpful for people who are experiencing feelings of inadequacy: "God does not call the equipped; God equips the called."  If you are truly called to do something, then the only credential you need is the fact that you have been called.  A God of love would not call us to do something without giving us the ability to do it.  Sometimes we have no idea what we are capable of doing until we try.

Excuse #5
"I don't wanna!"

Moses then said, "O my Lord, please send someone else."  God then became somewhat perturbed with Moses and his excuses.  God said to Moses, "What of your brother Aaron...?  I know that he can speak fluently; even now he is coming out to meet you...  You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth...  He indeed shall speak for you to the people..."  God then told him to take his staff and go.

Sometimes we have to do things we really don't want to do.  Perhaps we have to confront somebody.  Perhaps we have to get out of our comfort zones.  Perhaps we have to face an experience that will be either physically or emotionally painful.  For these cases I pass along to you a piece of advice from the Beatles: "I get by with a little help from my friends."  I know from personal experience that difficult situations can be made easier if we seek out guidance and encouragement from other people, especially other people who have faced similar circumstances.

---

Moses stopped that day to look at the burning bush because he noticed that the bush was not being consumed by the fire.  All that was consumed by fire that day was Moses' excuses.

Moses said, "I am nobody."
God said, "I will be with you."

Moses said, "What if...?"
God said, "I AM."

Moses said, "I might fail."
God said, "I will do wondrous things through you."

Moses said, "I can't..."
God said, "I will give you the ability."

Moses said, "I don't wanna!"
God said, "I will send you help."

I am beginning to think that the ultimate killer of all excuses is faith: faith in God, faith in each other, and faith in ourselves.  Whatever you are called to do at this time, may you find the faith to go out and give it your best.


Notes:

1. Exodus 1-2
2. I will refrain from footnoting every part of the story.  The entire story of Moses' encounter with God at the Burning Bush can be found in Exodus 3:1-4:17.  Quotations are taken from the NRSV unless otherwise noted.
3. David A. Seamands.  Healing for Damaged Emotions.  1981, David C. Cook.  ch. 4
4. John Caputo and Tony Jones.  "Caputo and Jones Subvert the Norm."  Homebrewed Christianity's Theology Nerd Throwdown, 07/08/13.
5. Wikipedia: Names of God in Judaism
6. See my sermon "The Measure of Success."  See also Rob Bell's sermon "Broken Bottles," which inspired my sermon.
7. At least that's how it appears in English.  I once heard Shane Hipps read Moses' excuse as a Shakespearean actor might read it.  It was hilarious.

The painting featured in this perspective was painted by Eugène Pluchart and can be found in Saint Isaac's Cathedral in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

Sermon: Take Courage!

Delivered at Bethel United Methodist Church in West Greenville, South Carolina on November 10, 2013.

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Take Courage!

In the second year of King Darius, in the seventh month, on the twenty-first day of the month, the word of the LORD came by the prophet Haggai, saying: Speak now to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people, and say, Who is left among you that saw this house in its former glory?  How does it look to you now?  Is it not in your sight as nothing?  Yet now take courage, O Zerubbabel, says the LORD; take courage, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest; take courage, all you people of the land, says the LORD; work, for I am with you, says the LORD of hosts, according to the promise that I made you when you came out of Egypt.  My spirit abides among you; do not fear.  For thus says the LORD of hosts: Once again, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land; and I will shake all the nations, so that the treasure of all nations shall come, and I will fill this house with splendor, says the LORD of hosts.  The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, says the LORD of hosts.  The latter splendor of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts; and in this place I will give prosperity, says the LORD of hosts.

Haggai 1:15b-2:9 (NRSV)

I've been on a losing streak

Hit so hard I couldn't speak

But when I hear Your voice it fades away

From "Brand New Day" by Fireflight

Once day, the prophet Ahijah met a taskmaster named Jeroboam by the side of the road just outside Jerusalem.  The prophet removed his robe, ripped it into twelve pieces and gave ten pieces to the taskmaster.  The glory days of Israel had come to an end.  King Solomon – the very same king who prayed to God for wisdom and oversaw the construction of the temple – had let his power go to his head, and he was leading his kingdom down a very destructive path.¹  In 930 BC, that same taskmaster led an uprising against King Rehoboam, and Israel was riven in twain.²  Ten tribes seceded to form the northern Kingdom of Israel, while the two remaining tribes became the southern Kingdom of Judah.  Each kingdom fell under a long line of corrupt leadership.  A host of prophets tried in vain to turn the two kingdoms back to God, but, for the most part, all they could do is watch helplessly as the two kingdoms spiraled into chaos.

Divided, they fell.  In 720 BC, King Sargon II of Assyria, conquered the Northern Kingdom's capital city of Samaria and took the population of the city captive.³  In 587 BC, King Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylon breached the walls of Jerusalem, captured and blinded the King of Judah, burned down the Temple of the Lord, leveled the city, and took many of the people into captivity.⁴  The Jewish exiles found themselves by the river in Babylon, weeping over the downfall of their homeland and seething with anger against their captors.⁵  The story of the Jewish people was not yet over.  "I know the plans I have for you," God said through the prophet Jeremiah, "plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope."⁶

The exile of the Jewish people came to an end nearly fifty years later in 538 BC, after the Babylonian Empire was conquered by the Persian Empire under the leadership of Cyrus the Great.  Cyrus, who is remembered by history as both a conqueror and a humanitarian, sought a peaceful coexistence with the peoples he conquered.  In what is considered to be one of the world's earliest declarations of human rights, he allowed the people who had been displaced by the Assyrians and the Babylonians to return to their homelands to rebuild their homes and religious centers.⁷  The Bible suggests that it was God who put it in the heart of Cyrus to allow the exiles to return to their homes and rebuild.⁸  Believe it or not, the Book of Isaiah actually refers to Cyrus the Great as the LORD's anointed - in other words, a messiah.⁹

Among those who returned to Jerusalem were Zerubbabel, the man who would serve under King Cyrus as the governor of the province of Judah, and Joshua, the high priest.  These two men were to oversee the construction of a second temple.  Their first objective was to rebuild the Brazen Altar so that the people could resume the ritual offerings and celebrations prescribed by the Torah, even before the temple was completed.  After the altar was completed and the people had resumed their religious practices, work began on the foundation of the temple.  Once the foundation was completed, the people rejoiced; however, many of the people who were old enough to remember the glory of the first temple cried out in despair at the sight of the new temple's foundation.¹⁰

After the foundation was laid, the Jewish people began to face resistance from the Samaritans, the descendents of the Israelites who married Assyrians.  First, the Samaritans offered their assistance in a veiled sabotage attempt, but, when their assistance was refused, they began to bribe government officials in order to frustrate the efforts to rebuild the temple.¹¹  After the death of Cyrus the Great in 530 BC,¹² the Samaritans wrote a letter to the new king of Persia, saying that the Jewish people intended to revolt once they completed work on the temple.  To maintain control over the province of Judah, the king sent his deputy to Jerusalem and ordered that all work on the temple be stopped immediately.¹³

In 522 BC, King Darius I, ascended the Persian throne.¹⁴  The former king was gone along with his cease-and-desist order, but the people were hesitant to resume construction on the temple.

In the book 11: Indispensable Relationships You Can't Be Without, Methodist theologian Leonard Sweet argues that each of us needs a butt-kicker.  Sometimes, on our journeys, when obstacles block the path ahead of us or when disappointment knocks us down, we might find ourselves tempted to throw in the towel.  At times like these we need someone to kick us in the rear end and get us moving down the path once again.  Sweet writes, "When you're spiritually neutered, or when you've become complacent and complaisant, when you begin to shrink from your mission, you need a [butt-kicker] to keep you loyal to your dreams."¹⁵  The Jewish people had been through a lot – civil war, political turmoil, the destruction of their homes, exile in enemy territory – and, just as they began to make some progress in rebuilding their temple, their culture, and their lives, their efforts were quashed by the powers that be.  The Jewish people needed someone to spur them on to continue on the journey they started.

Enter Haggai.

Like any good butt-kicker, the prophet Haggai calls his audience to move forward.  At the insistence of Haggai and his fellow prophet Zechariah, the people of Judah resume work on the temple,¹⁶ and, once construction is underway, Haggai continues to encourage the people.  "Take courage!" God says to Zerubbabel, to Joshua, and to the people of Judah through the prophet.  "Work, for I am with you... according to the promise that I made you when you came out of Egypt.  My Spirit abides among you; do not fear."

The journey of faith is a journey into the unknown at the call of an invisible God to do things we would have never thought possible.  Haggai's prophecy reminds us that the journey of faith requires courage.  It takes courage to set out on a journey when the path ahead of us is hazy, when we do not know where the journey will take us, when we do not even know how we'll complete the journey.  Haggai's prophecy echos the words that God has said so many times before: "I am with you."

"I will be with you," God said to the Jewish patriarchs when they faced difficulty.¹⁷

"I will be with you," God said to Moses when he was afraid to return to Egypt.¹⁸

"I will be with you," God said to Joshua as he prepared to led the people into the Promised Land.¹⁹

"I am with you," God said to the exiles far from home in Babylon.²⁰

The prophecy even foreshadows the message of comfort Christ leaves with the Apostles as He sends them out to proclaim the Good News: "I am with you always, to the end of the age."²¹

On the journey of faith, the road ahead of us is sometimes dark and cloudy.  God promises to be with us every step of the way, and we are invited to draw strength from the well of God's presence.

Taking a step in faith requires courage when we have been met with disappointment in the past.  The Jewish people worked hard to rebuild the temple and establish a sense of normalcy after returning home, and their efforts were rewarded with harassment and a cease-and-desist order.  It is only natural that they would be reluctant to pick up their tools and start building again.  When we find ourselves tempted to say, "We've already tried that, and it didn't work out so well," it takes courage to try again.  We hate to be let down by false hope, so sometimes we use the numbness of past disappointments to protect ourselves from the potential pain of future disappointments.  Shane Hipps compares a person who chooses certain despair out of fear of false hope to a farmer who tosses a handful of seed into the fire.  Though there is no guarantee that the seed will take root and grow if scattered on the ground, there is absolutely zero chance it will ever bear fruit if thrown into the fire.²²  On the journey of faith, God has promised to be with us, guiding us and empowering us, but we will never know what possibilities await us unless we step out in faith and hold God to His word.

Sometimes we find ourselves trapped in the past, not by past disappointments, but by nostalgia.  We long for life as it was back then:

back then in the "good old days,"

back then when life seemed simpler,

back then before everything fell apart,

back then before cynicism set in,

back then when we felt more hopeful.

Haggai's prophecy directly addresses the nostalgia of the elders returning from exile, those who had witnessed the beauty of the first temple and despaired when they saw the foundation of the second temple.  God says through the prophet, "The latter splendor of this house shall be greater than the former... and in this place I will give prosperity."  According to Rob Bell,
There's a certain kind of despair that sets in when we believe that things were better back then.  When we're stuck back there.  When we're not fully present.  When we're still holding on to how things were, our arms aren't free to embrace today.²³
Sometimes we think that life will never be like it used to be... and we're exactly right.  The past is behind us, but, if we are willing to put our nostalgia aside and step out in faith in the present, then we just might find that God has a bright future in mind for us.  The future will not be like the past: it might be better.

Through Haggai, God announced, "I will shake all the nations, so that the treasure of all nations shall come, and I will fill this house with splendor."  Though the temple had been plundered and destroyed in the past, it would be filled with beauty and splendor once again.  "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine," God says.  I believe that, if God truly puts dreams in our hearts, then God would not leave us without the means to turn those dreams into realities.  If our dreams truly come from God, then we can count on God to provide the material and spiritual resources we need to achieve those dreams.  After all, the resources are God's to give.  To borrow an expression from our Quaker brothers and sisters, "The way will open."  We should not feel inadequate to pursue our dreams.  It has been said that "God does not call the equipped; God equips the called."

Haggai's prophecy is a call to leave behind both the nostalgia and the disappointment that would trap us in the past and to step boldly into the future. We can step out in faith because we know that God is with us.  Haggai's prophecy is as true for us today as it was for the Jewish people over 2500 years ago.

Take courage!  The LORD is with you.

Amen.


Notes:

1. 1 Kings 11:29-39
2. Wikipedia: Kingdom of Israel (Samaria)
3. ibid
4. Wikipedia: Siege of Jerusalem (587 B)
5. See Psalm 137.
6. Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSV)
7. Wikipedia: Cyrus the Great
8. Ezra 1
9. Isaiah 45 (NRSV)
10. Ezra 3
11. Ezra 4:1-5  (See also Wikipedia: Book of Ezra.)
12. Wikipedia: Cyrus the Great
13. Ezra 4:6-24
14. Wikipedia: Darius I
15. Leonard Sweet.  11: Indispensable Relationships You Can't Be Without.  2008, David C. Cook. ch. 3
16. Ezra 5:1-2
17. Genesis 26:3 and Genesis 31:3 (NRSV)
18. Exodus 3:2 (NRSV)
19. Joshua 1:5 (NRSV)
20. Isaiah 41:10 (NRSV)
21. Matthew 28:20 (NRSV)
22. Shane Hipps.  "Miracles and Maple Trees."  Mars Hill Bible Church Podcast, 10/16/11
23. Rob Bell.  NOOMA Today | 017.  2007, Flannel. 

The painting of Zerubbabel showing his plans to Cyrus the Great was painted by Jacob van Loo in the 17th century.

Introspection: Broken Glass

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Broken Glass

Pray then in this way:

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And do not bring us to the time of trial,

but rescue us from the evil one.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:9-15 (NRSV)

When my time comes

Forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some

Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me

And when you're feeling empty

Keep me in your memories

Leave out all the rest

From "Leave Out All the Rest" by Linkin Park

Every now and then, I find myself pondering the concepts of sin and forgiveness.

Jesus once said that, if we forgive other people for the times they've wronged us, God will forgive us for our wrongdoings.  He then said that if we refuse to forgive other people, God will not forgive us.  I find many of Jesus' sayings comforting and inspirational, but this one makes me uncomfortable, to say the least.  Just this past year, I have been reminded that I sometimes have a lot of trouble forgiving people who hurt me.  In fact, I received one wound in high school and ended up nursing it for over ten years.  To be honest, I'm still not sure if I'm completely over it.  This past year, I have also been reminded that I sometimes have a lot of trouble forgiving myself.

Every week, the congregation at my church prays the Lord's Prayer, which addresses sin and forgiveness directly.  We pray, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."  Another traditional version of this prayer, I think, highlights the meaning of forgiveness a little better: "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

I like to think of a sin as any activity - or inactivity - that is, in some way, harmful to oneself or to another person.  Christ once said that all rules in Scripture are derived from the basic commands to love God with all one's heart, soul, and mind and to love one's neighbor as oneself.¹  If anything God commands us to do is based on goodwill toward God, other humans, and oneself, to sin would be to act in malice toward God, other humans, or oneself.²  Since one cannot harm God, disobedience to God that does not, in any way, affect other people, must somehow be harmful to oneself.  I do not believe that God makes demands on us arbitrarily.

If a sin is, by its nature, harmful, then a sin also generates a debt.  If I sinned against another person, then I would owe it to the other person to somehow undo the harm I had done.  For example, if I drove over to your house and hurled a rock through your living room window, I would owe you a new window, provided that I didn't damage anything else.  I would be obligated to replace your window or to shell out the cash to have it replaced at the very least.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, to forgive is "to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt."³  In other words, forgiveness is the cancellation of a debt.  To say to someone, "I forgive you," is the same as saying, "You do not owe me anything."  For example, if you forgave me for throwing a rock through your window, then you would not require me to replace your window.  When Christ calls us to forgive other people for the wrongs they commit against us, He calls us to stop holding their transgressions against them.

Forgiveness is an absolute necessity in this life.  Some wrongdoers might feel completely justified in their actions and refuse to repay or even acknowledge their debts.  Furthermore, some transgressions cause a lot more damage than a broken window.  Some debts cannot be repaid, and some damage can never be undone.  Broken reputations, broken friendships, broken hearts, and broken lives cannot be replaced like broken glass.  If I said something that damaged your reputation, I could not give you a new one.  I could apologize for what I said or claim that it wasn't true, but I could never make anyone forget what I said.

Some debts cannot be repaid, and many debts will remain unpaid even if they can be repaid.  Some debts can only be forgiven.  If we refuse to forgive people, we just might find ourselves demanding repayment for the rest of our lives.  Perhaps this is what it means to be bitter or resentful.  If those who wrong us are unwilling or unable to repay their debts to us, we might even be tempted to seek out a distorted sense of justice though acts of retribution.  Violence begets violence, so acts of retribution could potentially land people in constantly escalating feuds with one another.  It has been said that "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."

I think that a lot of us have trouble forgiving people because we don't truly understand what it means to be forgiven.

Jesus once told a story about a man who has racked up a debt of ten thousand talents.  In Jesus' day, a talent was the amount of money a common laborer earned in fifteen years.  The current minimum wage in the United States is $7.25 per hour.  Today, someone who works for minimum wage will earn $217,500.00 in fifteen years if he or she works fifty forty-hour workweeks per year.  By today's standards, the man in Jesus' parable owes more than two billion dollars.  The point is that the man has racked up a debt that he will never, ever be able to repay.

When the wealthy creditor demands payment, the debtor falls on his face and begs for an extension.  The creditor does not grant him an extension but rather forgives the debt completely.  Yes, you read that correctly: the creditor says goodbye to two billion dollars!

The forgiven man then goes out and demands repayment from one of his own debtors.  The latter debtor owes an amount of 100 denarii.  A denarius was what a common laborer was paid in one day.  By today's standards, he owed the former debtor just less than six thousand dollars.  The wealthy man hears about the forgiven man's unwillingness to forgive a debt that was a pittance compared to the amount forgiven, and he decides to reverse his decision.  He has the man he once forgave tortured until he can repay everything he originally owed.⁴

Why in the world would a man who has been forgiven a debt of over two billion dollars go out and shake someone down for measly six thousand dollars?  When I first heard this parable, I thought that the man was simply being an ingrate.  Dr. David A. Seamands suggests that the debtor did not truly accept his creditor's forgiveness.  The debtor, despite being forgiven, still intended to repay the two-billion-dollar debt in full.  He demanded repayment for the six-thousand-dollar debt because he needed every penny he could find.  The debtor did not truly accept his creditor's forgiveness as evidenced by the fact that he was still trying to set things right.⁵

The debtor could not forgive the debts owed to him because he would not forgive himself.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have a lot in common with the debtor in Jesus' parable.  A few months ago, I wrote that I do not want to be forgiven: I want to be in the right.⁶  Forgiveness is a bitter pill to swallow.  To accept forgiveness, one must be honest enough to admit that he did something wrong and humble enough to admit he is utterly incapable of repaying the debt he incurred.  I like to think that I am one of the most humble people I know, but, to be honest, I am probably in the running for the most arrogant and pretentious.  Truly humble people do not think about their own humility: they just have it.  It's much easier for me to make up justifications and excuses for my actions than to take such a painful blow to my precious ego.

We are all beloved children of God, so a transgression against anyone is a transgression against God.  Time and time again, God has forgiven our sins, and all God wants in return is for us to forgive each other.  To forgive, we must have a personal understanding of what it means to be forgiven.  We must know in our hearts that not all debts can be repaid and that not all wrongs can be set right; otherwise, we might spend our lives demanding restitution from other people - and from ourselves.  To truly forgive one another, we must be able to accept forgiveness.  To truly accept forgiveness, we must be able to forgive ourselves.


Notes:

1. Matthew 22:37-40
2. I include goodwill and malice toward oneself here because, if we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves, we must, by necessity, first love ourselves.
3. Wikipedia: Forgiveness
4. Matthew 18:23-35
5. David A. Seamands.  Healing for Damaged Emotions.  1981, David C. Cook.  p. 28-29
6. See my introspection "Amazing(ly) (Painful) Grace."

The photograph featured in this introspection is public domain.

Sermon: Traveling with a Limp

Delivered at Bethel United Methodist Church in West Greenville, South Carolina on October 13, 2013.

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

Traveling with a Limp

Audio Version

The same night [Jacob] got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.  He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had.  Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.  When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.  Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking."  But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me."  So he said to him, "What is your name?"  And he said, "Jacob."  Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed."  Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name."  But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?"  And there he blessed him.  So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved."  The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip.

Genesis 32:22-31 (NRSV)

Although the names change

Inside we're all the same

Why can't we tear down these walls

To show the scars we're covering?

From "Inside Us All" by Creed

There is a famous poem in which the poet dreams that she is walking on a beach with God.  As she walks, she sees scenes from her life flashing across the sky in front of her, and in each of the scenes she sees trails of footprints in the sand.  She begins to notice that in the happier scenes from her life there are two sets of footprints and that in the darker scenes there is only one set of footprints.  She reaches the conclusion that, in the darker scenes from her life, the single trail of footprints is her own, and she asks God, "Why, when I needed You most, You have not been there for me?"  God replies, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you."¹

The "Footprints" poem reminds us that the journey of faith has both mountaintops and valleys.  There are times when we feel as though we are walking through life hand-in-hand with God.  There are other times when we feel as though we are are walking all alone while God is nowhere to be found, and it's only when we look back on these times that we understand that God was closer than we realized.

And then there are times in our lives when the journey of faith does not seem like a walk on the beach at all.  In fact, sometimes the journey of faith seems more like a wrestling match.

---

Jacob had always been a man who wrestled his way through life.  The first person with whom he locked horns was his twin brother Esau.  While it's not uncommon for brothers to wrestle with each other, Jacob and Esau started wrestling in utero.  When Esau was born, Jacob came out of the womb immediately afterward because he was clutching Esau's heel.²

In Jacob's day and time, it was the firstborn son who received special blessings, but Jacob, who would not settle for second best, repeatedly wrestled these blessings away from Esau.  Once when Esau came home famished after a hunting trip, Jacob refused to share the food he was preparing until Esau surrendered his birthright to him.³  Another time, when Esau expected to receive a special blessing from his father, Jacob disguised himself as Esau and tricked their nearsighted father into giving him the blessing instead.  Esau, who was left with a lesser blessing, finally had enough of being ripped off by his brother and resolved to kill him.  Jacob was forced to run away to his mother's homeland of Haran to escape Esau's wrath.⁴

In Haran, Jacob began a long-term wrestling match with Laban, the man who would become his father-in-law.  Jacob agreed to work for Laban for seven years in exchange for his daughter Rachel's hand in marriage.  Laban then tricked Jacob into marrying the wrong daughter, and Jacob ended up working for another seven years so that he could marry Rachel as well.  Later on, Jacob and Laban struck an agreement to divvy up Laban's livestock based on the color of the animals.  Jacob then used selective breeding to ensure that he ended up with a flock that was larger and healthier than Laban's.  Jacob fell out of favor with his in-laws, and the time came came for him to return home with his family and his livestock.⁵

As Jacob heads home with his family, remembering all the times he wronged his brother years earlier, he realizes that he will finally have to face Esau once again.  He sends some of his servants ahead of him to tell Esau that he is coming, and the servants return, saying that Esau is coming out to meet him... with four hundred men.  Jacob prays to God for mercy, sends Esau some of his flock as a peace offering, and begins to prepare for the worst.⁶

Nervous, Jacob sends his family across the river, intending to spend the night by himself.  A mysterious stranger shows up, and somehow Jacob finds himself locked in combat with him.  The stranger knocks Jacob's hip out of joint, but Jacob will not give up the fight.  The two grapple all night, and at dawn the stranger says to Jacob, "Let me go, for the day is breaking."  Jacob replies, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me."  The stranger asks, "What is your name?"  Jacob tells him his name, and the stranger says, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed."  The stranger blesses Jacob but refuses to reveal his name.

Jacob walks away, limping.

So who – or what – was this seemingly random traveler who showed up and engaged Jacob in combat?  After the encounter, Jacob names the place Peniel, saying, "I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved."  This would imply that Jacob actually wrestled with God.  In fact, the idiom wrestling with God has its origin in this story.  The prophet Hosea interprets this story somewhat differently, saying that Jacob "strove with the angel and prevailed."⁷  Perhaps the wrestler was not actually God, but instead a messenger from God.  I ask, what else might Jacob have been fighting that night as he wrestled with his otherworldly sparring partner?  Maybe Jacob was wrestling with the man he had been in the past; after all, he was on his way to face the consequences of his actions.

Regardless of the identity of Jacob's mysterious sparring partner, Jacob's story reminds us that we all face our own struggles.  We wrestle with the other people we meet on life's journey.  We wrestle with the expectations that people have for us.  We wrestle with the past, with the mistakes we have made, and with our baggage.  We wrestle with our bad habits, hangups, character flaws, and moral failings.  We wrestle with our places in the world.  We wrestle with our shadows, in other words, those parts of ourselves that we try really hard to pretend don't exist.  And yes, sometimes we even wrestle with God, because some life lessons can only be learned the hard way.

---

Alluding to the story of Jacob's wrestling, Episcopal priest Barry Taylor once said that "one of the truest pieces of advice" he ever received is to "never trust someone who doesn't have a limp."⁸  As Christians, we have a reputation for being phony.  We don't like to let people catch us limping, figuratively speaking, lest anyone finds out that we actually have personal struggles.

It is understandable that Christians would put on an act for others, for, in so many congregations, it seems as though image is everything.  Many churches stress the importance of exhibiting a Christian testimony with one's day-to-day life. Each of us must live a life above reproach, so that we might light the way for nonbelievers.  If we fail, we will bring Christ's name down and tarnish the reputation of other Christians.  Some congregations up the ante, for certain moral failures will get a person shunned or excommunicated.  In some congregations, those who backslide are subjected to harsh and humiliating church discipline procedures if they do not want to leave the church.⁹  The lesson we learn as Christians is that we must hide our sins, cover up our struggles, and admit to no personal failures, or else be judged by a jury of our peers.

It is true that those outside the Church see our testimony in our behavior, and many receive a troubling message: "If you don't have your act together, then the Church might not be for you."  This is the wrong message for a community called to proclaim "the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit."¹⁰

We all face personal struggles even though we hate to admit the fact.  When struggling people within the Church look around and find no one who bears the signs of struggling – no one who walks with a limp – they feel as though they are all alone in their struggles.  The Christian rock band Casting Crowns laments this sad reality in their song "Stained Glass Masquerade."

So with a painted grin
I play the part again
So everyone will see me
The way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain?

I suspect that, as the song implies, every week many a Christian puts on his Sunday best, goes to church, greets everyone boisterously, and sits in a pew with a pious expression on his face, all the while feeling like the most screwed-up person in the sanctuary.

---

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says,
Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your neighbor, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," while the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.¹¹
At first, it might seem as though Jesus is simply calling us not to be hypocritical, but I think that Jesus is saying a lot about our personal problems – which He compares to debris in our eyes – and about the struggle to overcome our personal problems.  People who have never experienced the pain of having debris in their eyes are utterly incapable of relating to people who are afflicted with that problem, and people who won't even acknowledge the debris in their own eyes have no business trying to get the debris out of other people's eyes.

Jesus is not saying that we should not call a sin what it is, nor is he saying that we should not reach out to people who have personal problems.  Jesus is saying that we need to address our own problems before we concern ourselves with the lives of other people.  I think that sometimes we focus on the faults of others in an attempt to distract ourselves from our own faults.  I think that some of the appeal of tabloid talk shows like The Jerry Springer Show and Maury is the opportunity to look at someone else's problems and say, "Thank God I'm not that person!"  The word Jesus uses – hypocrite – is derived from the Greek word hupokritēs, which means "actor."¹²  If we want to help people who are struggling, then we must first drop the act and be honest about our own struggles.

Jesus says that it is only after we have removed the debris from our own eyes that we can help other people remove the debris from their eyes.  If we truly want to help other people, then we must have empathy: we must be able to understand other people's feelings.  If we cannot relate to the feelings of shame associated with a person's problem and if we cannot relate to the struggle to overcome such a problem, then we cannot truly empathize.  For example, it is quite easy for non-smokers to judge people who smoke, but someone who has never suffered from an addiction has no idea how difficult it is to quit smoking.  In the words of Henri Nouwen, "It is an illusion to think that a person can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there."¹³

Sometimes we will come across people in this life who are going through struggles that we have never experienced.  We must do our best to listen to them and to place ourselves in their shoes, but that might not always be possible because all of us come from different backgrounds and live with different circumstances.  Jesus says,
Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.  For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.¹⁴
We do well not to judge people who are struggling, for we just might discover that we would make the same choices if placed in the same situation.

When we are willing to travel with a limp, we are able to reach out to other travelers who are struggling, not as seemingly perfect people who patronize broken people, but as sisters and brothers who have faced similar struggles on life's journey.  The words "Me too." can be some of the most meaningful words a person can hear.  Rob Bell writes,
When you're struggling, when you are hurting, wounded, limping, doubting, questioning, barely hanging on, moments away from another relapse, and somebody can identify with you – someone knows the temptations that are at your door, somebody has felt the pain that you are feeling, when someone can look into your eyes and say, "Me too," and they actually mean it – it can save you.  When you aren't judged, or lectured, or looked down upon, but somebody demonstrates that they get it, that they know what it's like, that you aren't alone, that's "me too."¹⁵

Perhaps the only true healer is a wounded healer.

Once, when Jesus was criticized for the company He chose to keep, He said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners."¹⁶  It would only make sense that Jesus, who was calling people to turn from their selfishness and to love their neighbors as they loved themselves, would choose followers who would be good examples for others; counted among Jesus' own disciples, however, were crooks and terrorists.¹⁷  Just imagine how horrible it would be if our only examples in the faith were seemingly perfect people.  We would never be able to live up to the standard they set for us!

I would go so far as to say Christ intentionally selected disciples that He knew would fail at times.  Jesus knew that James and John would lust for power within His Kingdom.  He knew that Peter would deny Him in fear for his life.  He knew that Thomas would doubt Him.  He knew that Judas would betray Him.  And He knew that they would all abandon Him when He needed them the most.  Jesus did not choose disciples who would never struggle: Jesus chose disciples who would struggle and prevail.  Jesus knew that James and John would let go of their ambition.  He knew that Thomas would become a man of great faith if he was shown a little patience.  He knew that Peter and the others would return to Him and remain loyal to the point of becoming martyrs themselves.  I believe that even Judas could have prevailed in his struggles if only he hadn't given up on himself.  The Disciples struggled in their faith, walked away limping, and continued to struggle, so that imperfect people like you and I would have imperfect examples to whom we can relate.

In the book The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne tells the story of a youth pastor who took his youth on a retreat.  On the way to the site, the van got a flat tire.  The spare tire was bad; there were no tools with which one could repair the tire; and rain was pouring down.  The youth pastor completely lost his cool: he started yelling, kicked the tire, and used some words that one should not use in polite society – right there in front of the youth.  He managed to get the van moving, and they all went on to the retreat site.  That weekend, one of the youth, a tough young man from the wrong side of the tracks, decided to become a Christian.  Why?  He realized that if his short-tempered, screaming, cussing youth pastor could be a follower of Christ, then maybe he could follow Christ too.¹⁸

The Church was not meant to be a place where we hide our struggles and pretend to be perfect.  The Church is meant to be a place where we bring our struggles out into the open so that we might find healing together.  St. James writes, "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed."¹⁹  If we are to take James' instruction seriously, then the Church must be a place where it is safe to be transparent.  The Church must be a place where people are free to walk through the doors with a limp, a place where judgment and shame are not welcome.  Judgment says, "You don't belong here"; shame says, "I don't belong here"; but Christ says, "You all belong here."

The Church was not meant for perfect people, for Christ came "to call not the righteous but sinners."

Thanks be to God.


Notes:

1. The Official Footprints in the Sand Page
2. Genesis 25:21-26
3. Genesis 25:29-34
4. Genesis 27
5. Genesis 29-31
6. Genesis 32:3-21
7. Hosea 12:4 (NRSV) emphasis added
8. Barry Taylor, Tripp Fuller, Peter Rollins, and Bo Sanders.  "Revelation of Darkness LIVE Event: Taylor’s F-it Theology, Rollins reaches behind the curtain."  Homebrewed Christianity Podcast, 05/08/13.  (Warning: This podcast episode contains coarse language.)
9. Matthew Paul Turner shares one story here.
10. Taken from 2 Corinthians 13:14 (NRSV)
11. Matthew 7:3-5 (NRSV)
12. Wiktionary: Hypocrite
13. Henri J. M. Nouwen.  The Wounded Healer: Ministry in a Contemporary Society (Second Edition).  2010, Image Doubleday.  p. 78
14. Matthew 7:1-2 (NRSV)
15. Rob Bell and Don Golden.  Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for a Church in Exile.  2008, Zondervan.  pp. 151-152
16. Mark 2:17 (NRSV)
17. I'm referring to Matthew the tax collector and Simon the Zealot.
18. Shane Claiborne.  The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical.  2006, Zondervan.  p. 257
19. James 5:16 (NRSV)

The image featured in this sermon is a photograph of myself taken at my home church by my pastor and photoshopped by me.