Introspection: Not Normal and Not Ideal

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Not Normal and Not Ideal

I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor.  I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13 (CEB)

Hey, man, I'm alive, I'm takin' each day and night at a time
I'm feelin' like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night

From "Saturday Night" by Bon Jovi

I think that, over the last few months, as I've been getting out the house a bit more, I've been inching my way back toward normal.

Last month I started working at the office again.  Right now, I'm working at the office two days per week, and working from home the other three days.  In my department, different groups come into the office on different days so that people can spread out sufficiently, and we all have to wear face masks or some sort of face covering unless we are alone.  Personally, I've been eating bagged salads for lunch and taking a personal cooler with freezer packs to work so that I don't have to use the shared refrigerator or microwave.

I had grown accustomed to working from home every day, and I was nervous about returning to the office, but I've enjoyed my workdays at the office.  The change of scenery has been nice.  I've made it a point to go on some sort of excursion after a workday at the office.  Usually these excursions involve picking up coffee at a drive-thru and running a quick errand.

My church has not resumed in-person Sunday morning services, so I'm still streaming services from my church on Sunday mornings.¹  My church has held some outdoor midweek prayer services, where we either remained in our cars or brought chairs to sit outside.  Of course, wearing a mask and social distancing were required.  At one of these services, we remembered our baptisms.  We could not dip our hands into the baptismal font, so we had to bring our own water and pour it into our own vessels.  On a couple of Sundays, before or after the regular service was streamed, my church held Communion services in the parking lot.  Because we could not share one loaf and one cup, we had to bring our own elements.

The only Sunday morning church services I've actually attended in person are the services at which I also preached.  These services were at churches small enough to allow social distancing.  Face masks were required, and there was no singing.

I've missed going out on weekends, reading a book over dinner, and recording my thoughts at a coffee shop afterward.  I've also grown tired of picking up dinner at the same places over and over again.  That said, I've started picking up dinner at more of the restaurants I frequented before the pandemic.  A couple of times, I've resorted to picking up dinner, eating in my car while reading a book, and getting coffee to go.  It was an ersatz version of what I used to do, but at least I went out and did something.

Every couple of months, I attend a half-day contemplative prayer retreat.  During lunchtime on these "Desert Days," we discuss what God has been teaching us over the last two months.  For me, these retreats are, among other things, an opportunity to reflect on the last couple of months.  I always spend some time in the morning, before the retreat starts, looking over my devotional journal, so that I have something to say during the lunchtime discussion.  The last three of these retreats have been held over video chat.

Earlier this month, during my most recent retreat, it occurred to me, while I was preparing my lunch, that this pandemic has been a time for me to rethink what is enough.  Right now, nothing is normal, and nothing is ideal.  Holding prayer retreats and small group meetings over video chat programs is not ideal, but it is better than not meeting at all.  Having Communion services in the church parking lot to which we have to bring our own elements is not ideal, but it is better than not receiving Holy Communion.  Having to wear masks in public places is not ideal, but it allows us to go out and about while lessening the likelihood of spreading the virus.

What's ideal isn't really necessary for me, and, right now, what's better than nothing is enough.

Looking back, I'm starting to think that practicing gratitude over the last few years has prepared me for this pandemic.  Gratitude can make a world of difference in a person's life.  It won't change the bad things, but it will help a person to appreciate the good things.  Life is not as I would like it to be right now, and I look forward to the day when life can return to normal.  That said, I still have plenty of reasons to be grateful, and I have enough.


Notes:

1. Services at Travelers Rest United Methodist Church are streamed on Sunday mornings at ten o'clock on the church's Facebook page, and they can also be viewed afterward on the church's YouTube page.

The photograph featured in this introspection was taken by me at Legacy Park in Greenville, South Carolina from inside my car one day while I was drinking my coffee after work.

Perspective: Jesus' Bad Day

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Jesus' Bad Day

Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin.  She begged [Jesus] to cast the demon out of her daughter.  He said to her, "Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs."

Mark 7:26-27 (NRSV)

I can take so much

'Til I've had enough

'Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash, and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up, and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

From "Human" by Christina Perri

One day, Jesus travels to the region of Tyre, hoping to lay low for a while.  In that same area, there is a woman from Syria Phoenicia whose daughter is being tormented by a demon.  When she hears that Jesus is in the area, she goes to the house where He is staying, throws herself down at His feet, and begs Him to heal her daughter.  Jesus says to her, "Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs."¹  The "children" of which He speaks are His fellow Jews, on whom He has been focusing His ministry, and the "dogs" are non-Jewish people, like the Syrophoenician woman.

I would wager a bet that this episode is not many people's favorite story about Jesus.  We expect Jesus to be more than happy to help people in need, but, in this particular story, He comes across as unkind, bigoted, and rude - or, one might say, unchristlike.  Why would Jesus act like this?

I suspect that a lot of people who encounter this story try to come up with a explanation that makes Jesus seem nicer.  I have done this very thing in the past.  Seven years ago, I suggested that Jesus is mirroring His disciples' prejudice against the woman in order to provoke her to demonstrate her faith in front of them.  This explanation works just fine for the version of the story in Matthew's Gospel, in which the Disciples are the ones who want Jesus to make the woman go away.²  It doesn't work so well when it comes to Mark's version of the story, in which the Disciples aren't even mentioned.

When I encountered this story again recently, I read it a bit differently.  Instead of trying to explain away Jesus' initial unwillingness to help the woman and his apparent rudeness toward her, I started wondering if maybe Jesus is simply having a bad day or if maybe He is not in a particularly good place at the time.

Consider what has been going on in Jesus' life.

No matter where Jesus goes, people flock to Him in multitudes.  Most of the people who come to Him are not interested in following Him or learning from Him; they only care about His ability to heal people.³  He can barely find a moment to spend by Himself or with the Disciples, yet He is too compassionate to turn away people in need of healing.⁴

At the same time, Jesus' main detractors, a group of religious leaders and scholars, keep giving Jesus grief over petty matters.  Most recently, they confronted Him because the Disciples do not ritually wash their hands before eating.  Jesus went off on them, calling them hypocrites, suggesting that they have little more to offer God than lip service, and arguing that they use their traditions to create loopholes to get themselves out of doing what God really wants them to do.  He went on to explain that it is not any contaminants that enter a person's body that make a person impure but rather the sins that come out of a person's heart.⁵

To make matters even worse for Jesus, the Disciples just cannot seem to wrap their minds around His teachings.  After His altercation with the religious leaders, He had to spell out to the Disciples His teaching about what makes someone impure.⁶

I think that maybe Jesus was feeling frustrated or even burned out.  Everywhere He goes, He is met by people who want something from Him; His detractors keep zeroing in on what they think He is doing wrong; and the Disciples just can't seem to get the picture.  He just wants to get away from everything and everyone for a while.  He heads into the region of Tyre, away from the people on whom He has been focusing His ministry, and He is met by yet another person who wants something from Him.

Can you see why Jesus might be a bit short with the woman?

As an early Christian hymn teaches us, the Son of God divested Himself of all heavenly power and glory, took on human flesh and blood, and dwelt among us as a servant.⁷  At Christmas, we marvel over this miracle, which we call the Incarnation, yet we find ourselves disturbed when we are actually confronted with Jesus' humanity.  I'm not suggesting that, because Jesus was a human, He was a sinner.  I'm suggesting that, if Jesus really was a human, then He had human needs and human limitations.  Some of these needs and limitations would have been emotional in nature.  A person can only put up with so much discouragement before he or she has had enough.

When Jesus tells the woman that "it is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs," she replies, "Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs."⁸  This statement shows that this non-Jewish woman has great faith in the God of Israel, the God whom Jesus serves.  She believes that the God of Israel is so great that the miraculous healing she seeks for her daughter is like a mere crumb from God's table, and she believes that the God of Israel is so gracious that God has a place for even a "dog" like her.

Jesus is apparently encouraged by what the woman says to Him, for He is motivated to heal her daughter from afar.  Jesus says to the woman, "For saying that, you may go - the demon has left your daughter."⁹

Perhaps you're thinking that I'm reading myself into the story, that I'm superimposing my own feelings onto Jesus, that my latest reading of this story really says more about me than it says about Jesus.

You would be right.

Sometimes I feel that people only care that I exist when they want something from me.  Sometimes I feel that everybody wants something from me.  Sometimes I feel that my work, especially the work I enjoy doing, goes unappreciated.  Sometimes I feel that people focus on my faults and ignore my good qualities.  Sometimes I feel like I cannot get through to people.  Sometimes I just want to get away from everything and everyone.  Sometimes I need a word of encouragement and some inspiration.

I'm human, and, if Jesus really was human, then He must have felt at least some of the feelings I've felt.

I hated this story in the past, but now I find it strangely comforting.  Jesus is not at His best in this story, so we know that He understands us when we are not at our best.  If even the Son of God knows what it is like to feel discouraged, frustrated, burnt out, and fed up, then maybe we should show ourselves some grace when we experience such feelings.


Notes:

1. Mark 7:24-27 (NRSV)
2. Matthew 15:21-28
3. William Barclay.  The New Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of Mark.  2001, Saint Andrew Press.  p. 187
4. Mark 6:30-34, 53-56
5. Mark 7:1-15
6. Mark 7:16-23
7. Philippians 2:6-8
8. Mark 7:28 (NRSV)
9. Mark 7:29 (NRSV)

Jesus and the Woman of Canaan was painted by Michael Angelo Immenraet in the 1670s.

Perspective: Storms, Faith, and Peace

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.

Comments are always welcomed.

If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Storms, Faith, and Peace

And they went and woke him up, saying, "Lord, save us!  We are perishing!"  And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, you of little faith?"  Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dead calm.

Matthew 8:25-26 (NRSV)

There is hope for the helpless

Rest for the weary

And love for the broken heart

And there is grace and forgiveness

Mercy and healing

He'll meet you wherever you are

Cry out to Jesus

From "Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day

One day, Jesus and the Disciples boarded a boat and headed across the Sea of Galilee.  As they sailed, the boat was caught up in a sudden storm, and the Disciples began to fear for their lives.  Jesus, on the other hand, had fallen asleep.  The Disciples woke Jesus up, saying, "Lord, save us!  We are perishing!"  Jesus then asked the Disciples, "Why are you afraid, you of little faith?"  He then stood up and rebuked the storm, and suddenly the storm died down.  Amazed, the Disciples asked themselves, "What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?"¹

Given the Disciples' astonishment that Jesus was able to calm the storm with only a word, it is not clear what they expected Him to do when they woke Him up.  What is clear is that they knew to turn to Him in a time of trouble.  For this they deserve some credit.  We like to criticize the Disciples for being thick-headed, but at least they knew enough to cry out to Jesus in their time of trouble.

Jesus did not imply that the Disciples had no faith; He simply said that they had little faith.²  Having a little faith is better than having no faith at all.  That said, this story seems to hint at the possibility of another kind of faith - perhaps a more mature kind of faith.  After all, to suggest that a person has little faith is also to suggest that the same person has the potential to have great faith.  Perhaps this kind of faith looks less like the Disciples, who cry out in fear amid the storm, and more like Jesus, who is sleeping right through the storm.

It seems to me that this story shows us two kinds of faith.  One kind of faith leads us to cry out to God when the storms of life make us fearful.  Another kind of faith enables us to rest easy amid the storms of life, assured that everything is going to be alright, knowing that God is already present and working through the storm.

Apparently, the longer people follow Jesus the more they become like Him.  I think that Paul, who became both a follower and a messenger of Jesus, cultivated a kind of faith that gave him peace amid the storms of life.  One day, Paul, as a prisoner, boarded a boat headed for Rome.  As the boat sailed across the sea, it was caught up in a storm that lasted for weeks.  Paul did not calm the storm, as Jesus did, but he did manage to calm the crew, effectively becoming a chaplain to them.  He encouraged them not to be afraid, assured them that they would indeed reach their destination, and urged them to eat when they had not eaten in days.³

So how do we cultivate the kind of faith that gives us peace amid the storms of life?  As someone who is prone to anxiety, I wish I had the answers.  Typically, when I see storms brewing in the distance, I either worriedly brace myself for them or try to avoid them altogether.  I've suspected that, if I weather enough storms in life, I will eventually take it to heart that I have no reason to worry.  What I do know, looking back, is that worry has accomplished nothing but to ruin days that would have been much better without it.

There is a kind of faith that gives us peace amid the storms of life.  Until we've attained it, we are invited to cry out for help.  If you, dear reader, are not yet able to rest easy amid the storms of life, like Jesus, know that you may cry out to Him for help, like the Disciples.


Notes:

1. Matthew 8:23-27 (NSRV)
2. At least that's what Jesus says in Matthew's version of the story.  See also Mark 4:35-41 and Luke 8:22-25.
3. Acts 27

Calming the Storm was painted by Cornelis de Wael in the 1600s.

Perspective: Planting the Seed

I share these thoughts hoping they are of help to someone else.
Comments are always welcomed.
If you find these thoughts helpful, please share.

Planting the Seed

[Jesus] put before them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches."

Matthew 13:31-32 (NRSV)

What good is chance not taken?
What good is life not living?
What good is love not given?

From "Here Goes" by Bebo Norman

Jesus once compared the Kingdom of God to a tiny mustard seed that, when it is planted, grows into a large plant in which birds can find shelter.  Earlier, Jesus taught His followers to pray, "Your kingdom come.  Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."¹  This prayer reminds us that the Kingdom of God is not necessarily Heaven but rather anywhere God's will is done.  If the Kingdom of God is indeed like a mustard seed, as Jesus said, then the the mustard seed must have something to teach us about how God works.

Jesus provided explanations for a few of His parables, but the Parable of the Mustard Seed is not one of them, so we have to ponder its meaning for ourselves.

The parable reminds us that the mustard seed is very small.  In fact, this seed has been used as an example of something tiny.²  That said, the parable teaches us that within this tiny seed there is a lot of potential.  When planted, "the smallest of all the seeds," Jesus said, grows into "the greatest of shrubs."  Perhaps this parable teaches us that, though we might think we have very little to offer, when we offer what we have to God, God can do a lot with it.  On another occasion, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."³

In the middle of the first century, the church in the city of Corinth was wracked with division.  The congregation was started by St. Paul, but, later on, another pastor named Apollos came along and nurtured the congregation.  Some members of the congregation favored Paul, but others favored Apollos.⁴  When Paul wrote to the congregation to address this divison, he used a gardening metaphor which I think is similar to the Parable of the Mustard seed.  He wrote, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth."⁵  Both pastors did what was theirs to do, and God blessed their efforts.

When we offer what we have to God and do with it what God has placed in our hearts to do, God blesses our efforts.

If "the smallest of all the seeds" is to grow into "the greatest of shrubs," it must first be planted.  The process of germination, by which a seed puts down roots and puts forth shoots, happens in the ground, out of the sight of the one who planted it.  It might appear that nothing is happening, but growth is happening just beneath the surface.  When we don't immediately see results, we might be tempted to think that our efforts were wasted.  When we plant the seeds God has given us, we must be patient, for God just might be at work in ways that we do not yet realize.

Suppose for a moment that, for some reason, the person who planted the mustard seed would not have the opportunity to watch it grow into a great shrub.  He would have to have faith that his efforts were not wasted.  Sometimes we have to entrust our efforts to God, and sometimes we have to gauge our success not by evident results but by our faithfulness in doing what was ours to do.  Paul once wrote, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."⁶  Typically we apply these words to our adversities, but I think we can apply them to our efforts as well.

May you, dear reader, recognize the seeds God has given you, and may you have the courage to plant them.  May you entrust your efforts to God, and may you have faith that God will make them fruitful.


Notes:

1. Matthew 6:10 (NRSV)
2. William Barclay.  The New Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of Matthew, Volume Two.  2001, Saint Andrew Press.  pp. 88-89
3. Matthew 17:20 (NRSV)
4. 1 Corinthians 1:11-12
5. 1 Corinthians 3:6 (NRSV)
6. Romans 8:28 (NRSV)

The close-up photograph of the mustard seeds was taken by Wikimedia Commons user Damitr and is used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.  The photographer is in no way affiliated with this blog.